I get it, now. The patient answered his phone while in bed and when he opened his eyes was convinced the ceiling changed places with the floor and that he is actually creeping along the ceiling upside down, and strained his neck trying to examine whether his feet were touching the floor while he was hovering, meanwhile discovering inadvertently that the force of gravitation doesn't always work in the manner of the most convenient and acceptable laws of physics. Of course his toenails are pale, the blood has drained out of them. As for the goldfish bowl, well maybe he put the fish in the refrigerator when he came home from the pet store. It's called somnambulism, I think.
Wow, I can't even connect the pale toes to the neck problem, much less any fishbowl viewing. The autofellatio or maybe autoerotic asphyxiation?? is starting to look reasonable....
Cause and effect all mixed up. The fishbowl on your head is making your neck sore, and is also making your left toenails look pale. Remove the fishbowl and all will be well. By the way, did you know your right toenails look kind of erythematous?
r.i.g.h.t.
ReplyDeletebacking slowly out of the room ....
Prescribe a fish. Tell him to get some sandals and tan his feet. Send him on his way
ReplyDeleteI second this.
DeleteNo, the diagnosis is far worse than dementia or left cortical lesion. Far, far worse. Prognosis zero.
ReplyDeleteBased on my medical training (none), that makes perfect sense to me.
ReplyDeleteA lot of that going around.
ReplyDeleteSchizophrenia with formal thought disorder?
ReplyDeleteThis patient belongs on my unit.
ReplyDeleteTurf to Psych...
ReplyDeleteIf not a lesion, I guess ETOH or other mind-altering substance. Schizophrenia is also in the mix. Dr., are you going to explain?
ReplyDeleteWell, obviously.
ReplyDelete"Great, how can I avoid having to tell the doctor that I wrenched my neck while attempting autofellatio? I'll think of something..."
ReplyDeleteMaybe this patient needs one of those pedicures with fish....
ReplyDeleteHe's liking that medical marijuana, huh? I've heard college students having conversations like that...
ReplyDeleteHow's the B12?
ReplyDeleteI get it, now. The patient answered his phone while in bed and when he opened his eyes was convinced the ceiling changed places with the floor and that he is actually creeping along the ceiling upside down, and strained his neck trying to examine whether his feet were touching the floor while he was hovering, meanwhile discovering inadvertently that the force of gravitation doesn't always work in the manner of the most convenient and acceptable laws of physics. Of course his toenails are pale, the blood has drained out of them. As for the goldfish bowl, well maybe he put the fish in the refrigerator when he came home from the pet store. It's called somnambulism, I think.
ReplyDeleteI wonder where that fish has gone! Oh, fishy, fishy, fishy, fish! That went wherever I did go!
ReplyDeleteI think you should tell us your findings. Otherwise I'll have to gaze into my fishbowl all night.
ReplyDeleteWow, I can't even connect the pale toes to the neck problem, much less any fishbowl viewing. The autofellatio or maybe autoerotic asphyxiation?? is starting to look reasonable....
ReplyDeleteUuhhhhh.....I'm skeerd....
ReplyDeleteJames Joyce Syndrome?
ReplyDeleteWell he could have hurt his neck trying to get a really close look at those toenails. Perhaps he was trying to use an empty goldfish bowl as a lens?
ReplyDeleteCause and effect all mixed up. The fishbowl on your head is making your neck sore, and is also making your left toenails look pale. Remove the fishbowl and all will be well. By the way, did you know your right toenails look kind of erythematous?
ReplyDeletestrep pneumo? lp?
ReplyDelete