Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Mrs. Dilly: "Yeah, I have an appointment in an hour, and I'm going to have to cancel it. I'm in the Emergency Room."
Mary: "Are you okay?"
Mrs. Dilly: "Yeah, I was all blocked up down there. I think I ate too much cheese."
Mary: "I'm sorry. Just call us back whenever..."
Mrs. Dilly: "They just gave me my third enema. I've never seen so much shit in my life. Do you have anything open on Friday afternoon?"
Rightttttttt . LOL .
ReplyDeleteWell... are all your patients so full of shit?
ReplyDeleteSorry couldn't resist XD
Cracked me up on a tired morning! Poor lady.
ReplyDeleteWow. TMI.
ReplyDelete"No, but it sounds like you will."
ReplyDeletePerhaps Friday could venture a little out of scope to address a less cheese and more bran intake. Cripes.
ReplyDeleteI feel more sorry for the nurse aide.
ReplyDeleteWrong end, Dr.! Wrong end!
ReplyDeleteBesides, the world is ending Friday so no need for appt.
So they are cutting the cheese
ReplyDeletehe must be MY patient too as most of my patients are full of shit.
ReplyDeleteHappy Hanukkah by the way!
Aren't you glad you're not an ER doc? lol
ReplyDeleteMary: "Actually, Mrs. Dilly, you wouldn't believe the amount of shit I see on a daily basis. Have a nice day, we'll see you on Friday."
ReplyDeleteWe'll set something up, but call us before you come out if the shit hasn't stopped by then...
ReplyDelete"Also, they're building an orthopedic supply closet where the bathroom used to be, so I'd be very interested in suggestions on how to dispose of this big pile. I really don't want to put it in my car, but they say I can't leave it here."
ReplyDelete"My husband is a terribly good chap, but he always forgets to pass the port. So I forget to pass the Stilton."
ReplyDeleteWhat, the patient didn't offer pictures?
ReplyDeleteAm I the only person truly curious to know if Mrs. Dilly tried an enema or laxative at home before heading to the ER? Inquiring minds want to know!
ReplyDeleteToo. Much. Information.
ReplyDelete