"I'll add you as a contact to my Flickr account. Make sure to check out the gallery for yesterday morning's turd. I think you'll be really impressed by the size."
A long (long [long]) time ago I had a one day job installing stuff in a concrete basement that was really filthy, but I didn't notice it. The dust I was making + the dust I was stirring up all got breathed in.
The next day I was blowing this black goopy gunk out of my head. I panicked & went to an urgent care place.
I wait my turn and they look up my nose and say, "Looks fine to us." And I'm like, no, really, this thick black sludge was coming out. So they say, "Here's a tissue, blow your nose" and what comes out is definitely clear.
So I'm sitting there waiting for my "ok, you're done" paperwork, when I hear the idjits outside the room talking. And one says, in a loud voice, "Well, she might CLAIM it was black, but clearly she's lying."
So, I kinda feel for the guy. But, you know, I'm not insane enough that I would have done this. Or brought a sample. Yeeaugh.
Had a patient bring me an entire specimen jar of nasal mucus to ask me if I thought it could be CSF (cerebrospinal fluid). He must have been saving it up for weeks. But it was just ordinary snot.
I just had a patients son do this to me. I walked into her room and he says " Mom blew her nose and this big dark thing came out" then pulls a used tissue out of his pocket and opened it up to show me. Yeah she blew a booger out of her nose big deal. So he rolls the tissue back up and put it back in his pocket !!! I don't know what he s saving it for.
At least it was just a picture. I had a patient present me with a tic-tac container of sputum. I had to work very hard to maintain my composure because all I could think of was the Wayne's World line: "If you're gonna spew, spew into this!!"
I had a patient bring me a water bottle 1/4 full of mucous to show what he had been hacking up. Then he said, "Wait a minute, I got something for you doc..." and proceded to hoik up a big lugi into a kleenex to show me. And when he left, left his water bottle specimen on the floor in the exam room.
Oh and a different patient that handed the receptionist a pill bottle and went on to say it contained her urine specimen...
Look on the bright side - at least it was only a picture.
ReplyDeleteCell phone pics are great for documenting symptoms, but need to be saved for the appropriate specialist!
(Unless yak herders also specialize in pulmonology?)
Yeah, I wish people would realize just how grossed out we can get as well.
ReplyDelete*note to self* do not read Dr Grumpys blog before or during breakfast
ReplyDelete"I'll add you as a contact to my Flickr account. Make sure to check out the gallery for yesterday morning's turd. I think you'll be really impressed by the size."
ReplyDeleteHair ball ?
ReplyDeletePeople:
ReplyDeleteIt's only sputum, so unless sputum's your thing...don't fret!
At least we can't smell via internet...yet. That will really get me!
A long (long [long]) time ago I had a one day job installing stuff in a concrete basement that was really filthy, but I didn't notice it. The dust I was making + the dust I was stirring up all got breathed in.
ReplyDeleteThe next day I was blowing this black goopy gunk out of my head. I panicked & went to an urgent care place.
I wait my turn and they look up my nose and say, "Looks fine to us." And I'm like, no, really, this thick black sludge was coming out. So they say, "Here's a tissue, blow your nose" and what comes out is definitely clear.
So I'm sitting there waiting for my "ok, you're done" paperwork, when I hear the idjits outside the room talking. And one says, in a loud voice, "Well, she might CLAIM it was black, but clearly she's lying."
So, I kinda feel for the guy. But, you know, I'm not insane enough that I would have done this. Or brought a sample. Yeeaugh.
kids should really be taught that hacking up anything - esp anything green or black is just bad.
ReplyDeleteHad a patient bring me an entire specimen jar of nasal mucus to ask me if I thought it could be CSF (cerebrospinal fluid). He must have been saving it up for weeks. But it was just ordinary snot.
ReplyDeleteI just had a patients son do this to me. I walked into her room and he says " Mom blew her nose and this big dark thing came out" then pulls a used tissue out of his pocket and opened it up to show me. Yeah she blew a booger out of her nose big deal. So he rolls the tissue back up and put it back in his pocket !!! I don't know what he s saving it for.
ReplyDeleteAt least it was just a picture. I had a patient present me with a tic-tac container of sputum. I had to work very hard to maintain my composure because all I could think of was the Wayne's World line: "If you're gonna spew, spew into this!!"
ReplyDeleteI had a patient bring me a water bottle 1/4 full of mucous to show what he had been hacking up. Then he said, "Wait a minute, I got something for you doc..." and proceded to hoik up a big lugi into a kleenex to show me. And when he left, left his water bottle specimen on the floor in the exam room.
ReplyDeleteOh and a different patient that handed the receptionist a pill bottle and went on to say it contained her urine specimen...
LOL!
ReplyDeleteI can put myself in the guys shoes.
This guy just probably had a bad experience with a doctor that didn't listen to him as a patient and felt he needed to JUSTIFY his complaint.
if body juices scare you , dont be in health care - other than non invasive radiology....
ReplyDelete