Annie: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Annie."
Ms. Whiney: "Yeah, I'm trying to get a lift chair, and the notes Dr. Grumpy furnished aren't getting it covered."
Annie: "Let me look at your chart... I don't see you having a neurological reason to have a lift chair."
Ms. Whiney: "I don't care. I want one. What's this line on the form that says 'neuromuscular disease'? Do I have one of those? Or can he at least check it off?"
Annie: "No."
Ms. Whiney: "I have migraines. Does that count as a neuromuscular disease?"
Annie: "No."
Ms. Whiney: "How about my bunions?"
Annie: "Goodbye."
I was fishing for a handicap placard, after I walk my dog 2 miles in the AM, and later for the 3 miles at night, my feet hurt and I just have a hard time walking from the parking lot to the store. Doc and my wife said no way.
ReplyDeleteUsed to haul my lifelong wheelchair bound friend to college where the parking lot was full of the "entitled" folks cars. We wanted to change the sign to "Lardass Parking Only".
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking about a high-speed lift chair in the back of my squad car for lobbing them into detox.
ReplyDeleteGood one, Officer C. LOL. Be sure to takes some photos so we can see it too.
ReplyDelete"Okay, then, what will it take to get my insurance to pay for a jet pack?"
ReplyDeleteHow bout a nice lift chair with some electrical wires coming out of the attached headgear?
ReplyDeleteYou know what I used to tell my kids...want in one hand, defecate in the other, see which one fills up first.
ReplyDeleteBut I'd LOVE to see Officer C's lift chair - can you write him a rx for that?
"Fine, but if my orgy tonight is a failure because I don't have a lift chair, I'm blaming you."
ReplyDeleteSounds like an episode of Get Smart.
ReplyDeleteWould you believe me if I said I have a neuromuscular disease?
No, I wouldn't.
A bad back?
Nope.
Would you believe three tingly toes and a headache?
Gah. I do want to see Officer's C's model which sounds more like an ejector seat. It would have to be aimed precisely though.
ReplyDeletePoor patient, not having a crippling disease. Annie should have offered to break her back for her.
ReplyDeleteI have an ingrown toenail.....
ReplyDeleteSounds like a lot of my overweight patients...they want a handicap placard because they get dyspnea walking from the parking lot to the store. Lose weight!!!! If anything, I encourage you to park at the END of the lot and walk further! Society today makes it too easy for people to be lazy.
ReplyDeleteMy dad died from ALS last year...pretty sure that getting a lift chair was the furthest thing from his mind!
ReplyDeleteI may be fat, but I have a handicapped placard because if I walk too far I lose sensation in my legs and pee myself.
ReplyDeleteWhen I asked my doctor to fill out the form she was like, "You should have done this years ago."
Ain't life grand?
"Anonymous said...
ReplyDeleteUsed to haul my lifelong wheelchair bound friend to college where the parking lot was full of the "entitled" folks cars. We wanted to change the sign to "Lardass Parking Only"."
We get lots of stink eye from people when I park in handicapped spots for my 39 year old 6'4" husband. Someone, like you I suppose, had the balls to say something to me. I asked if he wanted to see my husband's quintuple chest lumen or if he wanted the number to my husband's oncologist.
Quit always assuming.