Dear Ms. Rutkowski,
Your business card was forwarded to me by a reader this week.
I must say, that in all the years I've dealt with various answering services, it never occurred to me that the operators lived in tanning beds.
If I'm wrong, and that happens to be your normal skin color, I'd suggest you see a dermatologist. They should be back from New Orleans by now.
p.s. I love the vintage green phone handset.
I love that the google ad under this post is for Fabutan.
ReplyDeleteWhat an interesting shade of orange.
ReplyDeleteI can't get over the slash through the O in one. Now it is a zero in my eyes.
ReplyDeleteThat's spray-on Orange, not UVB. There really is a street in Tucson named Miracle Mile. It's kinda sleazy with Tattoo parlors and Pawn Shops.
ReplyDeleteHmmm... Maybe the pawn shops are where she got the awesome green phone.
ReplyDeleteI interviewed once about 20 years ago with a woman who was (I'm guessing) in her early to mid-30s. She obviously was good about sun protection for her face, but she equally obviously did a *lot* of tanning. She was wearing a V-neck dress, and the skin on her chest made boot leather look pale and supple. I had a hard time not staring in horrified fascination. Compared with that, this girl looks the picture of health, though possibly just with bad makeup choices. My high school biology teacher, bless her, always had a line along her jawbone, pale cream below, orange above. I don't know why they sell that color base, I've never seen anyone with that skin tone naturally.
ReplyDeleteHome Made Laser Printed Business Card-- Yeah, I know you are thinking how does he know that....... like you never ran out of magenta yourself
ReplyDeleteOf course, that might be her natural skin color, and the hair might be processed and dyed. (Yeah, I know, that guy in the Senate.) Lots of people are, how you say, different colors or mixtures of colors, and the words we use to describe these colors do not in fact match any of the colors that we could be.
ReplyDeleteThough I have met people that orange in the past ...
ReplyDeleteI think in this case, it's a bad edit job on the photo as the whites of her eyes and the white in her dress seem to match the hue of her skin tone.
Dude. That's hilarious, but if that card is presented as you received it, why don't you blur out her location and contact information? I know it's a card printed to advertise her business, but the attention she may get from having it posted on the internet for ridicule could be very unpleasant.
ReplyDeleteLove the fake-tan-muppet-orange goodness, though!
I honestly didn't think of doing that.
ReplyDeleteOn the other hand, I have no idea how.
"Damnit, Jim, I'm a doctor, not a photoshop user."
White out is your friend, Dr. Grumpy. I still use it on a few things. Black markers also cover up a lot of problems.
ReplyDeleteOTOH, there is the old saying
"Any publicity is good publicity."
Jeanette sent it as a jpg. That makes it hard to use wite-out or a black marker.
ReplyDeleteI'm too lazy to print it up, wite-it out, and then re-scan it.
Go to her web page, www.wetakecalls.com, and then select the Contact tab. Much better picture of Jessica.
ReplyDeleteAny photographer will tell you that the best way to get those nice white backgrounds is to place a wall full of tanning beds there. True story.
ReplyDelete@Grumpy: just open it in Paint (comes with windows). It starts up by default with a black brush, so just drag-click over the image you want to black out. Save it, and done.
ReplyDeleteYes, go to her website. Maybe the retro phones (and positions the employees assume) were deliberately done for humor, because that's the strangest collection of phones they're using. Doesn't exactly scream hi-tech.
ReplyDeleteSite namers should really look at how their url reads prior to registering. What jumped out at me first wasn't WeTakeCalls, but WetAkeCalls, and while I'm not sure what Ake is, I'm led to understand it prefers being wet.
ReplyDeleteAlso the earlier comment about 0ne, spot on. It almost feels contradictory.
Unless you know what you're doing, you really shouldn't be desktop-printing your own business cards. Too many things can go wrong. Like this.
ReplyDeleteOf course that photo reminds me of a famous line from the first season of "House". "You're ORANGE, you moron!"
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure that's a young Dr Grumpy featured in the Industries Served Physicians/Health Care Services section. And you thought that photo would never come back to haunt you...
ReplyDeleteI'm surprised one of them is not holding a tin can with some string.
I live in Tucson. For a city that has so much sun and 100+ degree weather in the summer, there is an obscene amount of tanning salons in business here. I don't understand it. Everywhere you look are shades of brown and orange.
ReplyDelete@Ben S I read the card the card the exact same way ( I am a chick p.s.). All that I saw when I read it was www.WETxxxCalls.com :) It must be Wednesday.
ReplyDeleteAnyone think of Addison's disease, perchance? Or maybe she just got a bad colour contrast too heavy on the red tone in the printing service. Still, I'd be wondering about the Addison's....but then it could just be a bad colour contrast......but you never know!
ReplyDelete