Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Mr. Pigskin: "Yeah, um, you see my wife for seizures, and she's had 3 today. Big ones, I mean, she bit her tongue a lot, and now I can't get her to wake up. She's breathing and all, but..."
Dr. Grumpy: "That sounds serious. You need to call 911, or take her to ER immediately."
Mr. Pigskin: "Really? Um... Okay..."
Dr. Grumpy: "Have them take her to Local Hospital, and I'll see her there, and they have all her records."
Mr. Pigskin: "How long will this take? I mean, the Superbowl is today, and..."
Dr. Grumpy: "This is very serious! You need to get her to ER NOW!"
Mr. Pigskin: "Do they have TV's in the ER there?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes!"
Mr. Pigskin: "What do I tell my buddies? They were gonna come over, and I mean, she's starting to wake up, and oh, she's seizing again."
Dr. Grumpy: "You stay right there. I have your address, and I'm calling 911 now for you."
Mr. Pigskin: "Cool, thanks, doc. That's a lot of help. Hey do you want to come over and watch the game?"
That poor lady needs a prescription for a divorce....geez.
ReplyDeleteAnd when they finally showed up in the ER, did you punch him in the face? I am soooo glad my husband only watches NASCAR. No other sports, just that one.
ReplyDeleteThe valentine's roses are going to look so nice on her coffin next week.
ReplyDeleteYou're making this up.
ReplyDeleteSo I'm guessing you went right over to his house to watch the game, right?
ReplyDeleteAt least she can be lucky(?!) he actully had the (umm?) intelligence to call you!
"They" probably didn't show up in the ER...just her.
ReplyDeleteOh dear god. The HUMANITY! I think I am super happy that my husband does not watch sports like that... and well that I'm not sick. Otherwise one day I may be dead.
ReplyDeleteI hope she is okay!
Well, at least he has his priorities in order, or something :-/
ReplyDeleteTrees - 1
Forest - 0
WHAT A SHIT-HEAD!
ReplyDelete(yes, I'm shouting)
I like RPh's sentiment. No, not the NASCAR part.
It's so horrible it's funny to me. But I found "Alive: the story of the Andes survivors By Piers Paul Read", horror funny as well.
ReplyDeleteI realize that there may be times where football comes before wife. But, when it's an emergency, wife better always come first! If I was her, I'd seriously start contemplating divorce, because I'm not about to be with a man who cares more about football than my life.
ReplyDeleteShhesh. Those damn selfish wives who have seizures! On Superbowl Sunday! Really! Absolute grounds for divorce - Unbeleivable-I mean they might make a mess or die or something. Which brings me to my next point - um - who would he have called if she wasn't breathing??!! And 3 big ones today already? Like she was just going to spring back into making snacks and bringing beers to his buddies?? You've got yourself a FAIL Blog right there. Pity you didn't have it on tape and you could disguise voices...
ReplyDeleteI've never felt so blessed to be single.
ReplyDeleteOld MD Girl- No, I'm not.
ReplyDeleteThis is typical, and I've seen it in both sexes. The degree to which some people will put their own and other's health in peril, for some side pursuit, is actually quite frightening.
The only sports my husband and I WATCH are our kids' games. Otherwise we're DOING the sports together - albeit not as well as we used to do.
ReplyDeleteHusband FAIL! I'm sure after the game, his drunk, dumb ass will be in the ER, screaming he NEEDS to talk to a doctor about his wife. Glad I'm not working tonight.
ReplyDeleteLD50 Rat
Doc Grumpy- I wonder if it's denial of this terrifying event (potential death of the loved one) that makes them do that kind of thing.
ReplyDeleteMakes me happy I'm single, too. That kind of "help" I can do without.
LOLOLOL
ReplyDeleteYou can't make this up. I witnessed the beginnings of a divorce a few years back during the superbowl. We got called for chest pain. Hers. He refused to drive her till halftime, she called 911 (he thought she was just making a scene). Respiratory arrest on scene but never did go into full cardiac arrest. I don't thik they spent the next superbowl together though...
If she dies, I sincerely hope that this man gets charged with murder or at least manslaughter based on depraved indifference. I also hope that her family smacks him with a wrongful death lawsuit. This guy is just utterly disgusting.
ReplyDeleteI think they should add that question to the e-harmony get-to-know you multiple choice section. Sounds like it would instantaneously rule out quite a number of potential matches.
ReplyDelete*shudder*
Given that I'm the kind of person who would drop everything to help a stranger having a seizure, I hope to whatever deity(s) there may be that I end up with a man with a similarly sized heart and conscience. Of course, with stories like these, the End Times may come before I ever find such a partner!
Did the woman survive? *fingerscrossed*
She'll be fine.
ReplyDeleteNo thanks to him! ;-|
ReplyDeleteWow. Just, wow.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I gotta wonder if Mark P.S.2 read the cookbook edition of that book.
>runs and hides<
What a total douchebag.
ReplyDeleteTo be placed on their fridge, in bold type..:
ReplyDelete*names changed** (!)
"Dear Theodore Sweetie,
Just a quick FYI for future reference -incase you panic!!
If I am having a 'big' seizure (you know what they're like honey!)Please dial 911.
If you cannot wake me after a seizure, or find me and I don't really talk back, or move, or breath
Please dial 911.
Thanks sweetheart! Just my future brain function, and you know, like my life on the line!I knew I could count on you pumpkin! xx
Love
MindyPie xxx
PS Just thought I should let you know, snookums, that incase I die as the result of implications regarding a seizure, the day prior to,the days following,(48 hours) during or on the day of Superbowl, or any other National Sporting Event, my Will has been changed so that my entire life insurance will go directly to the Poughkeepskie Branch of the Dogs and Cats Protection League. Sweet of me, huh??
Love you! Kisses xxx MindyMooo
Hey bigboy - That pie on countertop is for the Jeffersons - hands off!!
(-: xx Love you!"
idiot - I hope he has a masive MI during the Grey's Anatomy season finally (or whatever show she likes). He can just wait until it's over to call 911.
ReplyDeleteSO glad she pulled through. Imagine she'll feel rocky for a bit. And then maybe he will!
ReplyDeleteYa know, I try to think of witty things to say to your posts, but all I can really think of is "woooowwwww...." That's seriously all that comes to mind.
ReplyDeleteWell, I for one hope she didnt have the nerve to spill the Velveeta cheese dip!
ReplyDeleteI'll never understand people who think a football game-superbowl or not-is more important than the life of a family member.
ReplyDeleteGood grief. Just when I think I've heard it all.
ReplyDeleteShe could have a least fixed the snacks and iced down the beer for him and his buddies before she had the nerve to have a seizure. Sheesh. Some people!
D-I-V-O-R-C-E!
This reminds me of a quote by the Liverpool Football manager Bill Shankly many years ago;
ReplyDelete"Some people think football is a matter of life and death. I assure you, it's much more serious than that."
All joking aside, that poor woman needs to divorce that dude post haste.
If she dies, he should be charged with negligent homicide or something like that. How long before he called you? If she lives, she should take the big screen TV in the divorce.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband was having chest pain, as he was getting settled in for the basketball playoffs, at least it was HIM that didn't want me to call in...he ended up in the ER....and yes, he was having a heart attack. He's good now, two years post-quadruple bypass!
ReplyDeleteA sad reminder of the reasons I've never remarried.
ReplyDeleteGlad to hear the lady will be okay, despite the imbecile to whom she's married. I wonder if his neglect falls under the good samaritan law?
ReplyDeleteHaving once dated a guy sucked from a similar drain in the gene pool, I don't know whether to be slightly glad that there's more than one of them - or slightly disturbed that there's more than one of them.
ReplyDeleteYou're kidding, right? Please say yes...
ReplyDeleteNope.
ReplyDelete