Monday, February 8, 2010

2 tomatoes, pickles, hamburger buns, lettuce, and a dessert

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Oh, hi Dr. G! How ya doin'?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, uh, fine, um, I didn't recognize you when I got in line."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Yeah, I'm workin' at Local Grocery now. Ya got a Shopper's Card?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Here, thanks."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Lemme ring this up. Looks like you're havin' burgers. Paper or plastic?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, I guess. Paper."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Ya know, my back is still killin' me, and it goes down my right leg."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh, why don't you call Mary and..."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Some days it goes around into my groin, too. Got any coupons?"

Dr. Grumpy: "No..."

(Lady in line behind me grabs her basket and runs for her life).

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Sometimes it burns, ya know, like I have a rash going down my butt and the leg. That'll be $18.73. Credit or debit?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Credit."

Mr. Lumbarpain: "Can you sign here? And then when I look, there's no rash, it just feels that way."

Dr. Grumpy: "You should call Mary tomorrow and..."

Mr. Lumberpain: "Nice seein' ya, doc. Hi, lady. Ya got a Shopper's card?"
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17 comments:

  1. UnknownFebruary 8, 2010 at 9:51 PM

    bwahahahaha....oy vey!

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  2. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2010 at 9:56 PM

    OMG. I've run into patients in the grocery store while shopping. That was bad enough. Bet you'll pay more attention to which line you're in now :)
    CardioNP

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  3. RachaelFebruary 8, 2010 at 10:19 PM

    uh oh. time to find a new grocery store?

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  4. JulieFebruary 8, 2010 at 10:27 PM

    rofl ...

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  5. student dr. blazeFebruary 8, 2010 at 10:35 PM

    wow. at least now i know one way that i don't annoy the crap out of my doctors (the size of my chart alone gives them lumbar pain): i'm just shy enough in public/constantly lost in thought enough that i could inadvertently be standing next to my best friend in a store and not realize it. needless to say, my docs could probably run smack into me in the store and i wouldn't realize it's them. wait-does that mean i have a brain lesion? i guess i should ask the check out clerk next time i'm in super target. that is, if i'm not too busy trying to figure out why the hell the credit card machine is asking me if i want to put my purchase all on one card (wtf?!). ;-)

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  6. AnonymousFebruary 8, 2010 at 11:17 PM

    I once had a minor surgery on my nose. I was at the supermarket when I heard (in a loud German accent) - take off de glasses so I can see nose.

    I blurted out - "thank god that you're not a proctologist." and so ended our Dr/pt relationship.

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  7. MahaFebruary 8, 2010 at 11:36 PM

    This is why I'm happy I don't live in the same city that I work in. The commute is a bitch, but still. However, you did a good blog post out of it! And this lady needs to learn the meaning of TMI.

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  8. The Sperre ManFebruary 9, 2010 at 12:05 AM

    But what everyone REALLY wants to know is- did the 2 tomatoes make it onto the burgers, or did they go into Mrs. Grumpy's top secret science project?

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  9. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2010 at 12:51 AM

    SO awkward!!

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  10. ER's MomFebruary 9, 2010 at 6:15 AM

    At least he didn't offer to drop trou to show that there's no rash.

    ;)

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  11. The MotherFebruary 9, 2010 at 7:24 AM

    At least he didn't ask for a script?

    This is where being a pathologist comes in handy. We rarely run into our patients. Above ground, at any rate.

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  12. Kat's KatsFebruary 9, 2010 at 8:57 AM

    Wow! The day after I finished the "Call My Office" graphic too!! LOL!!!

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  13. GB, RNFebruary 9, 2010 at 12:39 PM

    I stopped by a local farmer's market after work one morning. The guy who sold the cottage bacon wouldn't sell it to me until he told me about his testicular cancer and how they "took my left nut".

    If I had gone the teacher route, I would have had my cottage bacon without the horrible mental image.

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  14. AnonymousFebruary 9, 2010 at 1:10 PM

    I think you meant dessert not desert in yoru title?

    Dessert you would like to eat twice (two s's), you would only want to cross the desert once (one s)

    Thank you to my 4th grade teacher.

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  15. Grumpy, M.D.February 9, 2010 at 1:12 PM

    Okay, I misspelled it, and have fixed it.

    Sorry, folks!

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  16. thecatsmeowFebruary 9, 2010 at 6:03 PM

    LOL...I've had experiences like this, too. Spent a number of years working retail, and every once in a while I'd run into some former doctor of mine. The strangest case had to be the neurosurgeon, since although I hadn't occasion to see him in many years (thank goodness), the litany of questions I got asked was like being catapulted back to the mid 1980s when I was still a "regular". In some weird way it's almost the opposite situation of your post.
    Guess these encounters are a hazard of doctoring...

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  17. outreFebruary 10, 2010 at 12:18 AM

    I once thought I saw my primary care doc at a supermarket. The first thing my brain said was 'RUN AWAY!' so I did.

    I was, in my 'i don't want to talk to anyone mood.

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So wadda you think?