From a retired internist:
“I just want to make sure I’m not going to shit, you know. I mean, my wife is fucked-up with all kinds of shit, and some of my friends are pretty fucked-up, too, and I'm sure all my old patients are either fucked-up or dead by now, and I’ll be a son of bitch if I’m going to get fucked up more than is normal for being fucked-up at my age so I just want you to check out all my neuro shit and that kind of stuff and make sure I’m not too fucked-up for 87."
I always thought the technical term for shit talk was “stercolalia” until a classicist who had retrained in medicine told me that was a neologism mixing Latin (Stercor = shit) and Greek (Lalia = speech) roots.
ReplyDeleteWell... aside from your frontal lobes clearly not working, let's see shall we...
ReplyDeleteYou know, I can't actually find anything wrong with his logic.
ReplyDeleteHe's retired, there's no need to use fancy multisyllabic words with Greek or Latin roots and a ton of prefixes and suffixes anymore when common 4-letter words will do the trick. I respect and applaud his commitment to retirement.
ReplyDeletePretty self-aware, if you ask me.
ReplyDeleteThat is some fucked-up shit.
ReplyDeleteObviously a Warren Zevon fan
ReplyDeleteHey, when I'm 87, I want to be just the normal amount of fucked up, not excessively so. But even if I am excessively fucked up at 87, will I really know?
ReplyDeleteYer average. Now STFU.
ReplyDelete"Check out my book, 'Is Your Shit Fucked Up Today?'"
ReplyDeleteThat guy's gonna live forever.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I literally forgot about this blog until something reminded me of it this week. Probably reading "Cobalt Red" and they talk about artisanal mining..... And THIS is the first post when I dig and dig through the internet to find this blog again? After all these years? LOLLLLL
ReplyDeleteOkay, now I remember what I was going to say. It was the fall semester at UAA/ACC 1976 and I was finally going to take a first semester class that I knew something about in a subject I liked, biology. It was the class reqired for all in any science-related field: medical school, nursing students, biology teachers, bioengineering, dentistry, etc. I still remember like it was yesterday. Our first 'lab' was to go out in groups of 4-5, demarcate a 5'x5' plot and count all the plants and all the different types of specimens. At the time, campus was in a boggy mosquito area, but it was fall and cool and mosquito count quite low, so we had a pleasant time of it, (MJ was legal in AK for personal use) and I thought we were doing something quite unique for freshman college students. And, as we returned the next time to lecture, someone had cut out a little blurb from a physical assessment textbook with regard to clinical judgment upon finding tattoos on a patient's skin. And, it wasn't but four years later, we were on break in the staff lounge that one of the RNs confided that she'd gotten a tiny butterfly tattoo like it was a scandal or something. So. Yeah. Some of us are on the verge of retiring.
ReplyDelete