Doctor Grumpy in the House

Mary: "Okay, on Tuesday Dr. Grumpy can see you at 11:00, or on Thursday we can do 4:15, or on..." Mary took a sip of too-hot coffe...

Body armor? Check. Taser? Check. Pepper spray? Check. Marie riding shotgun on the cart with a baseball bat and tranquilizer gun? Check. Head...

Dr. Grumpy: "Any major illnesses run in your family?" Ms. Daughter: "My dad had cancer. That's about it." Ms. Mother...

Dr. Grumpy: "Are you allergic to any medications?" Ms. Sesame: "I'm allergic to all medications that have a letter 'D...

Dr. Grumpy: "What have your blood pressures been running at home?" Mr. Decimal: "They average 127.384 over 73.879"

 

With the costume party season upon us, I'd like to remind everyone of what was probably the single greatest newspaper headline ever.

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page." Mr. Bacon: "Hi, Dr. Grumpy, I need to get in to see Dr. Needle urgently, ...

Dr. Grumpy: "So... this visit is to follow-up on how you're doing with the medication - Fliniberzap - that I prescribed about a mon...

Mary: "Okay, Mrs. Humor, I have your follow-up down for next Tuesday, at 8:15 a.m. I should warn you that Wednesday's test of the n...

 Current insurance company hold music is an endless loop of "O Fortuna."

My 11:00 patient, while we were talking at my desk, took cans of Red Bull and beer from his backpack, mixed them together in an empty water ...

Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page." Ms. Simon-Bond: "Hi, Dr. Grumpy... there's a dead cat on my back pati...

EHR (or EMR) is the generic name given to the various medical chart systems that have been crammed down our throats. Most are worthless. T...