Doctor Grumpy in the House

Mr. Patient: "My chiropractor says this is because the top of my neck attaches to my head. Is that a common problem?"

Thank you for bringing lunch today. I am married. You may not have noticed my ring. Or my kid's drawings all over the place. Or the brie...

I'd like to thank my reader Kate for submitting this. She found it on Answers.com . Beyond the question of "Why the hell is this li...

Dr. Grumpy: "Why did you call 911?" Mr. Phlush: "Because my toilet was clogged." Dr. Grumpy: "Why on Earth did you ...

Just reminding all my readers to eat plenty of ice cream, because it supports a healthy lifestyle. After all, it says so on the carton. (cli...

One of the most hated parts of residency is having to call an attending at night about a new admission. In most programs this is required, ...

"I forget the things I can't remember. When I was younger I used to remember that stuff. I mean, I'd remember the stuff I hadn...

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, we're done with the EMG. I'm going across the hall to my office. Why don't you toss the paper gown in t...

Your appointment is over. You are certainly welcome to wait in my lobby for your ride, to complete paperwork, or to have some water to reco...

Like most docs, I use Epocrates on a PDA for medication info. It's not perfect, but very helpful. So today I had to look up something on...

"Hi, Dr. Grumpy. My husband sees you for Parkinson's disease. Anyway, I'm in Calorie Counters, and we have a meeting tonight i...

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, can I help you?" Mrs. Hiazakite: "HI! I need to get in to see Dr. Grumpy! I've heard he&#...

I went to ER yesterday afternoon to see a consult, and found this in the chart. For my non-medical readers: EMS = Emergency Medical Servic...

"My headaches and stuff are about the same. I didn't start that medication stuff you prescribed last time, because I wanted to try ...