Dr. Grumpy: "Has the medication helped?"
Mr. Son: "I think mom is doing okay with it, and the staff at the Alzheimer's home tell me..."
Mrs. Mother: "Wait... the place I'm living at is for Alzheimer's disease?"
Mr. Son: "Yes, mom."
Mrs. Mother: "Why do I live there, anyway?"
Guy comes into office, Mary slides open her window.
Mary: "Hi, you have a 1:00 appointment? Okay. Can I make a copy of your insurance card? Thank you... Do you have a mask?"
Mr. Beijerinck: "No. I don't need one."
Mary: "Dr. Grumpy asks that all patients wear them. Let me give you one."
Mr. Beijerinck: "Little lady, the pandemic is over, if there ever was one. I ain't wearing a mask."
Mary: "Sir, because of the nature of his field, Dr. Grumpy sees a lot of patients on medications that suppress their immune systems, so for their protection we ask that everyone wear a mask when they go back to see him. Here's one you can wear during your visit."
Mr Beijerinck: "You want me to wear this?"
Mary: "Yes, just while you're here, please."
Mr. Beijerinck: "Okay, here."
He tears the mask into little pieces, tosses them through the window onto Mary's desk.
Mr. Beijerinck: "That's what I think of your bullshit rules. Now, honey, just go tell the doctor that I'm here for my appointment."
Mary: "Thank you for letting me know. Here's your insurance card back, I haven't copied it. I'll let the doctor know that I cancelled your appointment. Have a nice day."
Mary closes her window, pretends to answer her phone, and ignores him until he leaves.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Mr. Lacune: "Hi, thish ish Dave Lacune, you shaw me at the hoshpital a few days ago, when I had a shtroke."
Dr. Grumpy: "Yes sir, are you okay? Your speech is pretty slurred, and I don't remember it having been affected by the stroke."
Mr. Lacune: "I'm fine. Look, you preshcribed Nomocva to me, to keep me from having another a shtroke, but I read about all itsh shide effectsh, and sho now I shtopped it and I'm afraid to take it."
Dr. Grumpy: "I'm kind of concerned you've had another stroke, sir. Your speech is pretty slurred."
Mr. Lacune: "Nah, my shpeech ish like thish because I've been doing tequila shotsh and shmoking weed all night because I'm anxioush."
Pause
Dr. Grumpy: "What are you so anxious about?"
Mr. Lacune: "Becaushe I shtopped Nomocva, sho now I'm worried I might have another shtroke."
Dr. Grumpy: "Let's see... At your last visit I prescribed Flipazol. Did that help?"
Ms. Webb: "No, it didn't do anything."
Dr. Grumpy: "Were there any side effects?"
Ms. Webb: "There were a lot of them. It was terrible! I can't believe you prescribed it for me!"
Dr. Grumpy: "What happened?"
Ms. Webb: "Actually, I never even had it filled. I didn't like all the side effects I read about."
Dr. Grumpy: "Then why did you say it didn't help you?"
Ms. Webb: "A lady I met online told me it wouldn't."
