It's 10:55. Mrs. 11:30 walks into the waiting room, where Mr. 11:00 is reading a magazine.
Mary: "Hi, can I help you?"
Mrs. 11:30: "Yes, I have a routine appointment with Dr. Grumpy at 11:30, but my husband has a work-in with his cardiologist downstairs at 11:45, which he just made. Can I be seen early, so I can run down there?"
Mary: "I'm sorry, he's with someone now, and has an 11:00 appointment ahead of you. Otherwise I would."
Mrs: 11:30: "Can you..."
Mr. 11:00: "Hi, I don't mind waiting. I have the 11:00 appointment, so why don't you just switch us out? I don't have to be anywhere right away."
Mrs. 11:30: "Oh, thank you so much."
Mary: "Okay, that works for me. I'll let the doc know you're switching."
I finish with Mr. 10:30 and bring him up to check-out. Mary quickly explains the schedule change, so I bring Mrs. 11:30 back to my office. I address her issues, and we conclude the visit at around 11:25.
Dr. Grumpy: "All right, let me know how the medication change works out... I hope everything is okay with your husband."
Mrs. 11:30: "My husband? Why?"
Dr. Grumpy: "You said he had an urgent work-in with his cardiologist?"
Mrs. 11:30: "Oh, I just told the front people that. He's fine. I just needed to leave early because my cat sitter can't stay past 11:45."
She walked out front and left.
DG: "And your co-pay for this visit is $8,000."
ReplyDelete"Listen to the patient; she is telling you the diagnosis". In this case if you are a forensic psychiatrist...
ReplyDeleteDiff. Dx ~ balls of brass
ReplyDeleteI would have done it knowing it was for her cat, but now she will never be accommodated again. Ever.
ReplyDeleteShe probably isn't even married.
ReplyDeleteAs Paul Newman said as Henry Gondorf in "The Sting", "You got to keep his con even after you take his money." She revealed herself too early. Maybe out of guilt or just to be smug.
ReplyDeleteI had a former co-worker who went to the ER one time and knowing she would have to wait awhile since she wasn't having a life threatening health issue, she told them she thought she thought she might be having a heart attack so she would be taken in right away. Some people!
ReplyDeleteFiring another patient?
ReplyDeleteI'm trying to figure out why she needs someone to be with her cat 24/7. I've had catsitters before and they usually pop in once a day to feed the cat, top off their water bowl, and clean the litter box.
ReplyDelete"By the way, my health insurance is about to be cancelled because I haven't been paying the premiums, and I'm planning to skip out on your bill. Also, I was just faking my symptoms so you'd give me a prescription, and I'm going to sell the pills on the black market. I've been running the same scam with doctors all over town, but I haven't been caught because I use a whole bunch of different stolen IDs that I bought on the dark web. Oh, and I'm the one who shat in the elevator."
ReplyDeleteYep. The comments are as funny as the situation bizarro. This particular patient must be new at this game, because she hasn't figured out that it doesn't endear anyone to treat them kindly with this particular type of behavior.
ReplyDeleteI have had similar experiences as a teacher. Such people need a reality check about the fact that being dishonest means not being trusted. "If you lied to my staff, why should I think you're telling the truth to me? What will your next trick be? Are you a drug addict?"
ReplyDeletehttps://www.pagesofthesea.org.uk/?fbclid=IwAR3IkHo_JXxaOu0A9S1bCNmoaPmP-LXy0DEFafMw7HQGZ6pg02tg4Ak3mFU
ReplyDeleteOh, and a gold star for M. 11:00
ReplyDeleteBrass ovaries on that one to pull one over on Mary.
ReplyDeletetime for the "you have 30 days to find another physician" letter.
ReplyDeleteBuh-bye, beeyatch.