In the early 80's my family went on a generic “American Family Goes on a Bus Tour of Europe” trip. My sister and I (both teens) shared a hotel room.
My mom, for some reason I don’t remember (perhaps I never knew) had packed a bunch of off-brand blueberry Pop-Tarts. They weren’t even the real thing, some cheap store generic. Maybe she thought they didn’t have food in Europe. So this box of suckish store-brand pop-tarts was tossed in a suitcase, flown across the Atlantic on a 747, dragged over land in a tour bus, and taken across the channel in a hovercraft (yeah, there was no Chunnel, youngsters). For the record I think it was stale long before we even left. Possibly before she bought it. Why it made the trip I still don't know.
Anyway, late one night in Paris, while watching the crappy hotel room TV and trying to guess what they were saying, my sister and I had a big fight over something. I don’t remember what. It escalated from shouting to throwing things... and the nearest things at hand were the pop-tarts.
As we hurled them back & forth the silver packages tore and opened, sending chunks of pop-tarts flying everywhere. If a piece was big enough to throw, it was thrown. I think we also threw some rock-hard raisin buns leftover from breakfast, hotel stationary, pens, and anything else lying around.
When it was over there were stale crumbs, frosting, and streaks of nasty artificial blueberry filling EVERYWHERE. Walls, blankets, sheets, curtains, TV, mirror, me, sister, door, carpet.
We checked out in the morning to move on to whatever the next country was. I have no idea what the place's cleaning crew thought of the bizarre mess.
My sister and I were terrified Dad would chew us out about extra charges for damages, but it never happened.
Normally I think you're pretty funny, but I don't think it's funny to damage someone else's property. Sorry. I don't want to criticize, but I wouldn't have liked to be the hotel owner or staff that had to try and clean those stains.
ReplyDeleteThere are no fights more intense than those between siblings, and, mostly, more quickly forgotten. My husband, an only child, has never understood how my twin sister and I as teenagers could be practically screaming at each other one moment, then amicably chat a minute later. I couldn't explain it either, it was just the way we had always been.
ReplyDeleteYeah, the controversy in the early 80s caused by those "Tastes great! Less filling!" commercials could get pretty intense.
ReplyDeleteOh my, if you were a teen in the 80's, your just a young pup in my group. Sounds like you and the sib were pretty normal while growing up. Do you see your young self in your own kids behavior these days?
ReplyDeleteDid your French phrasebook tell you how to say "My hovercraft is full of off-brand blueberry Pop-Tarts?"
ReplyDeleteSounds like you're still appalled. Maybe, it's the three teens ... .
ReplyDeleteAstrolabe:
ReplyDelete"Mon aéroglisseur est plein de Pop Tarts de goût bluet hors marque."
Why waste money on brand-name toaster pastries if they're just going to wind up strewn all over a hotel room in Paris?
ReplyDeleteI'm sure your flight home was very interesting once they served the meals.
ReplyDelete