Wednesday, April 19, 2017

Wednesday reruns

Mrs. Powder: "Sorry I'm a few minutes late, I had to drop my husband off at the ER."

Dr. Grumpy: "Is he okay?"

Mrs. Powder: "Oh he's fine. He was cleaning his gun and shot himself, again."

Dr. Grumpy: "Oh my..."

Mrs. Powder: "You'd think he'd get over being such a baby about it. I made him wait in the car until I'd finished the laundry. Anyway, at the last visit you had me try Nomig for headaches, and I like it. Do you have any more samples?"
at

21 comments:

  1. Officer CynicalApril 19, 2017 at 8:08 AM

    "Oh, and do you have a refrigerator I can put my husband's head in while I'm here? I read on the internet that you're supposed to keep them cold until they're reattached."

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 19, 2017 at 8:35 AM

    "He accidentally shot himself in the back of the head. Twice."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AnonymousFebruary 26, 2020 at 5:42 PM

      He must have had dirt on hillary

      Delete
  3. PackerApril 19, 2017 at 10:07 AM

    What a story Mr. Powder is telling the ER Staff and the Officer summoned to ER by such staff. Take a Powder Mrs. Powder for you are the main character in the story.

    ReplyDelete
  4. kjaxApril 19, 2017 at 10:28 AM

    He shot himself "again." She's obviously tired of his s**t and has laundry to finish. I get it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Ms. DonnaApril 19, 2017 at 11:52 AM

    WTF is in that Nomig? It appears to have long-term anti-anxiety effects. VBG. Or as Packer said, the cops will be after her and she's building an insanity defense.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Ivan IlyichApril 19, 2017 at 12:39 PM

    I wonder if Mrs. Powder makes sure the gun is loaded when she knows her husband is planning to clean it.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Loren PechtelApril 19, 2017 at 1:15 PM

    Setting up a suicide as an accident, perhaps?

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousApril 19, 2017 at 2:20 PM

    Men will do anything to get out of cleaning, won't they?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tarquin "R.J." Toffeebridge VApril 19, 2017 at 2:30 PM

    "With gunshot wounds, it's really important to get all that blood out of your clothes right away, or it's going to stain."

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousApril 19, 2017 at 2:31 PM

    "With all those constant loud noises at home, is it any wonder I get headaches?"

    ReplyDelete
  11. A. MarieApril 19, 2017 at 4:14 PM

    Sometimes I wish that your most appalling stories didn't leave me laughing till stuff comes out my nose. This probably says more about me than about the stories.

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousApril 19, 2017 at 7:04 PM

    "On the bright side, at least it took more than the usual thirty seconds of cleaning before his gun went off."

    ReplyDelete
  13. evodevoApril 19, 2017 at 10:09 PM

    I agree with Marie ... you should be ashamed of the way you make my eyes tear up and my nose run ...

    ReplyDelete
  14. evodevoApril 19, 2017 at 10:10 PM

    On the other hand, I live in Ky - this would not be unusual ...

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousApril 20, 2017 at 2:11 AM

    "He was supposed to wait until the doctor who always prescribes Percocet starts his shift at the ER, but as usual he got impatient. At least he didn't accidentally hit a major artery like last time."

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousApril 20, 2017 at 2:14 AM

    "You'd think by now he'd stop trusting the 'How to clean your gun' article on eHow."

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousApril 20, 2017 at 2:16 AM

    "Of course, when I made him wait in the car, I totally forgot that we keep guns hidden behind the door panels."

    ReplyDelete
  18. MageApril 20, 2017 at 3:28 PM

    LOL

    ReplyDelete
  19. tbunniApril 22, 2017 at 12:38 AM

    So is it wrong that my first thought was for the car's upholstery/carpeting? As in, she'd rather have him bleeding out there than, oh, say, in the kitchen, which is where I always make my husband wait in similar circumstances...

    Not that he's ever shot himself. No guns allowed in our home, and for that exact reason. But it is AMAZING what he can do with a knife. *Any* kind of knife.

    ReplyDelete
  20. vegakittyApril 26, 2017 at 7:34 PM

    It was the "again" that got me.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?