Tuesday, July 14, 2015

Monday afternoon

Dr. Grumpy: "Looking at these reports, the MRI of your neck is normal. So is the CT scan, and the X-rays."

Ms. Ichabod: "That's what all the neck surgeons say, too! But I know something is wrong!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Okay, but..."

Ms. Ichabod: "This is why Dr. Sousaphone said he was referring me to you! He said you specialized in cases like mine."

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, I'm not sure there are any further studies to be done because..."

Ms. Ichabod: "You realize my head could completely fall off my shoulders and I could die at any time due to the uncaring attitude of doctors like you, DON'T YOU?!!!"


 After 20 years, I still don't know how I manage to keep a straight face at these times.
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21 comments:

  1. JJuly 14, 2015 at 4:58 AM

    I hate it when my head falls off.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 6:03 AM

    So who did you refer back to Dr Sousaphone?

    ReplyDelete
  3. BrianJuly 14, 2015 at 9:12 AM

    I think the (mental) patients sphincter muscles are keeping the head right between the cheeks and would be impossible to become detached.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gracie's MomJuly 14, 2015 at 9:39 AM

    How could his head possibly fall off his shoulders when it is currently residing up his arse?
    Also, I was always under the impression that a neurologist and a psychiatrist were two totally different
    types of "head doctors".

    ReplyDelete
  5. skidmarkJuly 14, 2015 at 9:57 AM

    "Why, yes. Yes I do realize that. But there's nothing we can do until that happens.

    But you are in luck. Dr. Frankenstein is on staff at the big hospital where we have admitting privileges and he will be able to fix you right up.

    Just be sure that the ambulance people bring the right head when they bring in the rest of you."

    stay safe.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Officer CynicalJuly 14, 2015 at 10:32 AM

    It's all fun and games until somebody's head falls off.

    ReplyDelete
  7. bobbieJuly 14, 2015 at 12:07 PM

    You could have at least sewed her earlobes to her shoulders to prevent that!

    ReplyDelete
  8. Melle MelJuly 14, 2015 at 12:11 PM

    Don't push me 'cause I'm close to the edge.
    I'm trying not to lose my head.

    ReplyDelete
  9. GlenJuly 14, 2015 at 12:13 PM

    Send the gent out for a custom Philadelphia collar. To be removed only when doing PT (perhaps prescribe a home exercise unit). Remember, patient Satisfaction is the First vital sign.

    ReplyDelete
  10. charlesJuly 14, 2015 at 12:29 PM

    I hope that you said: "Here take these two bolts, and call me in the morning if they don't hold."

    ReplyDelete
  11. staceyJuly 14, 2015 at 12:42 PM

    Careful, you could shoot an eye out too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJuly 14, 2015 at 2:37 PM

    This is why the windows in our center do not open

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 4:10 AM

    Does Sousaphone not like you?

    Is there a conspiracy to send you all the crazy ones?

    What does Ichabod think is wrong with her neck?

    So many questions.

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 4:11 AM

    I'd prescribe a very uncomfortable and restrictive (and expensive) neck brace, and tell her to continue to wear it until her symptoms resolve.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 11:15 AM

    ...999, 1000, 1001, 1002. Make that 1002 uses for duct tape!

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 7:45 PM

    You always were trying to a get a head.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJuly 15, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    As my classmate the neurosurgeon would say "what are you nuts"

    ReplyDelete
  18. AnonymousJuly 16, 2015 at 8:05 PM

    ... the hip bone is connected to the tailbone and the tailbone is connected to the backbone and the backbone is connected to the neck bone and the neck bone is connected to the head bone ...(oh, the backbone is connected to the shoulder bone and the rib bones and the wishbone, and all three are connected to the arm bones) ... and, so on and so on, ... now hear the word of the Lord!

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousJuly 16, 2015 at 8:38 PM

    Wow, what on earth did you do to offend Dr. Sousaphone so badly?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Justa DudeJuly 21, 2015 at 11:21 AM

    Dont complain. You bitchez then send them to me the psychiatrist

    ReplyDelete
  21. LinOctober 4, 2015 at 7:39 AM

    Well actually if the patient had atlantoaxial instability that was being missed she could be telling the truth. Didja get an open mouth xray?

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?