A. The 2015 Lady Gaga footwear line
B. Guide to S&M fetishist shoe styles
C. The Human Torch and Friends Visit the Doctor.
D. "But these were not an ordinary pair of black and white pumps; both were left feet, one had a right angle turn with separate compartments that pointed the toes in impossible directions. The other shoe was six inches long and was curved inward like a rocking chair with a vise and razor blades to hold the foot in place."
E. An ad for pain medicine.
D is a quote from Cruel Shoes
ReplyDeleteE, probably targeting diabetic nerve pain?
ReplyDeleteAt first I thought A, but then common sense prevailed; Lady Gaga would never wear sensible shoes.
ReplyDeleteNo doubt it's E, although the leftmost is a mystery to me.
ReplyDeleteBTW, you don't need to be diabetic to have neuropathic pain in the feet.
"This is just a sample of the visions you'll have if you take enough of our pain medicine."
ReplyDeleteD is a quote from Steve Martin's The Cruel Shoes! I used to listen to that on an 8 track!
ReplyDeleteDon't know, but I know enough to not show it to my kid, he will want the pair in the middle.
ReplyDeleteAnd why is the guy in the middle with his feet on fire not wearing a shirt?
ReplyDeleteLiar liar pants on fire
ReplyDeleteLyrica - Pins; fire and bees...
ReplyDeletePins, fire, bees, Lyrica, blood, gnats, frogs, 3 days of darkness, murrain, slaying of the first born.
ReplyDeleteLaugh all you want, but there's nothing like the feeling that your leg is on fire... from the inside.
ReplyDelete(More fun when the doctor glances at it and then says, "But it *looks* fine." One of these days I'm going to snap and say, "That's funny, you *look* smart...")
I actually guessed this one! The pins and needles and fire gave it away. The bee swarm was weird to me though.
ReplyDeleteAh, I thought it was an ad for restless legs. Very... uh... creative. Somehow it looks like an ad for something *causing* discomfort! >_>
ReplyDeleteMy husband has terrible neuropathy from Guillain Barre syndrome he developed last year. Wouldn't want to wish that on anyone..... All the pictures describe what he feels. Just missing the ones with lightning bolts from the electrical shocks :O
ReplyDeleteIt's an ad for neuropathic pain. I only know this because my mom had chemo induce neuropathic pain.
ReplyDelete@Moose: That's a ridiculous comment. Any doctor worth his degree should know that there are multiple conditions without visual symptoms, particularly in early or chronic cases. Would he say the same thing to someone with a spinal fracture, or an epileptic, or someone with biological depression? Those have very real non-visible symptoms as well.
ReplyDeleteThat kind of guy, if I had to see him again, I'd use my smartphone or print off and bring in a list of established medical conditions that 'look fine'.
As for the ad, it's freaking medicine. It's not the latest shoe or foot product. No need to go all crazy with the imagery. Particularly since that's a shadowy and inaccurate representation of the reality anyway.
When I started out in pharmacy, the nicest 'insurance' plan I gifted myself was 'orthopedic' support hosiery, (and I'm still working today... .) There was another older gentleman that swore by his fashionable, but too-tight shoes, however. He took a vast amount of satisfaction in how he felt after removing said shoes at the end of the day. To(e) each his/her own.
ReplyDeleteThe feet, the feet, the feet are on fire. We don't need no water let the motherf-ers burn,
ReplyDeleteBURN MOTHERF_ERS!
sorry, I couldn't resist.
Candida, sorry, but lots of doctors think lots of patients who report pain are crazy or pill-seeking or both. Moose's case is not at all unique.
"Looks like fire, smells like fire, tastes like fire... good thing I didn't step in it."
ReplyDeleteNew, from the makers of Odor-Eaters(TM)... Odor-Burners(TM) and Odor-Stingers(TM)!
ReplyDeleteNow you see how the wrong shoes can make a lot of activities difficult.
ReplyDeleteLOL. I can relate to all three and the occasional lightening bolt. I'm diabetic and have SI joint & L4 & L5 problems. Neurologist told me I can't have peripheral neuropathy though cause my reflexes are still good! o_O
ReplyDelete@Moose - I get a lot of that, mostly from family. :( My usual mental comment is "If I was going for a modelling job, that would be great. But since I'm not..."
ReplyDeleteOh, those are pins on the left! I saw it as a model of some kind of molecule.
ReplyDelete@Anonymous "the feet are on fire":
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of doctors out there are dismissive; my stepmother has run into a few. But when someone has a history of health problems, and is disabled to the point they cannot physically work, saying 'it looks fine' upon reports of pain is knee-jerk at best.
When assessing reports of non-visual symptoms, the patient's whole demeanor and their medical and behavioral history (if available) should be taken into account. In no case should the doctor automatically be dismissive.
I developed Chemo-induced peripheral neuropathy in my feet long after the chemo (which, I learned is almost unheard of) and that picture is exactly what I felt. Caused me to give up my Labor/delivery gig. :( Neurontin is my friend, now. Good stuff and I'm glad it works. Now it just feels like my shoes are full of wet, heavy sand with still some pins and needles. And yes, it sucks when doctors dismiss things because they can't "see" it. Pain or discomfort is a very subjective thing and it's not the same in everyone.
ReplyDeleteI've developed peripheral neuropathy over the last six months, mostly in the feet, and they have absolutely NO idea why. (I also have thinning or mild atrophy of the optic nerve, again, no idea why. I've concluded that that is the definition of "idiopathic".)
ReplyDeleteAt least my neurologist believes me. I didn't ask for anything until the mild buzzing/vibrating feeling at night turned into 5 minutes of stabbing pins and needles and then crept up my left leg almost to the hip.
I love gabapentin, and it's also pretty much eliminated my remaining migraines, along with the metaprolol.