Thursday, July 10, 2014

Nitrogen, CO2, you name it.

Dr. Grumpy: "Let me get an MRI form... Are you claustrophobic?"

Mr. Lung: "No, but I need to breathe during the test. There's air and oxygen and all for me in there, right?"

17 comments:

  1. Maybe he'd feel more comfortable connected to an oxygen tank? With, an underwater sunfish motif?

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  2. "Well, there's air, but no oxygen. Will that be a problem?"

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  3. I'm one of *those* people who fall asleep inside the MRI.

    I do this every. single. time.

    Doesn't matter if it's 15 minutes or two hours, I lay down in that thing and BAM! lights out.

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  4. Five years ago I needed to have an MRI. I belong to a health care co-op in Seattle. The doctor asked me if I was claustrophobic and I said a little. He sent me to a clinic not affiliated with my health care plan.
    That...'a little', cost me $1000. Next time I'll keep my mouth shut.

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  5. Just found your blog. You are a RIOT! Wish you were my doc, Dr. Grumpy!! Keep writing. As Arnold says,....I'll be baaaack!!!

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  6. I kind of noticed that Dr. G did not exactly answer the question.

    @Katie Clooney, welcome--being that Dr. G treats all manner of serious and awful medical conditions and your wishing he was your Doc, makes you the type of comenter we love over here.

    @awesome , you are not one of those people who fall asleep in those things, you are the only one who falls asleep in those things...Jack hammer banging on a metal pot and you sleep.. I think that is narcolepsy.

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  7. I'm one of those people who are happy there are open MRIs now. I'd happily pay more so I don't have to go into that tube thing ever again. I had to be sedated in order for them to get a clear reading and so my heart rate would stop freaking them out.

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  8. @ Parker-I slept through mine too, it might have helped that I went to the appt after chasing about 30 kids for 10 hours. Either way it was flat, dimly lit, and nobody was whining Ms. Migrainuer repeatedly, which was all I needed for a nap

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  9. Try a VQ scan. The mask they put on your face is sealed ultra right because of the radioactive isotope you are breathing through the mask, and the mix of air and radiation is stale, making you feel like you are suffocating a little more with each breath. Then, that scanner is less than two inches from your face, so unless you keep your eyes closed you feel like you are about to be squashed like a bug. It was not fun at all, and I'm not even claustrophobic.....

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  10. I have been installing and maintaining MRI systems for a major manufacturer for over 26 years. I am also a big guy so I sometimes offer myself up as a test subject. (Hey, if the machine will scan me, it will scan anybody.) Put a set of headphones or earplugs in and that jackhammer sound (pulsing gradients) is reduced to a dull buzz.

    I fall asleep every time.

    When the scan stops, I usually wake right back up.

    Awesomesauciness and I are not the only ones who fall asleep either. I've seen patients actually start snoring while the scan is running.

    Newer machines nowadays have much larger tunnels than the old ones did. We have a high-field system that was introduced in 2005 that is almost 30" wide and only 4 1/2 ft. long. The days of the 21" 10 ft. long tunnel are rapidly going away.

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  11. Ha ha ha @ Officer Cynical.

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  12. "That really depends on your insurance."

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  13. Only the MRI machines with 78% more x-rays come equipped with the ability to pump oxygen for your inhalation.

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  14. I had an MRI in the last few months. No way I could fall asleep. The noise was bothersome. But the worst part was the feeling of an electric shock passing through my arms. I read up on it and I guess that's a rare-ish side effect.

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  15. I've had 'em all, the CT, and MRI, and this and that. The one with the washing machine sound went much better the second or third go-around when the technician asked what music I might want to have in the earphones, and I went with the first one that kids used to talk about and I couldn't stand to have in the house, J-PoP. Lots of heavy metal sound, and even more erratic syncopated rhythms; wake me up when it's over, please. I could've asked for the Valkyries, or '80s stuff, but there was copasetic cacaphony with the electronic reverb, and I fully expected the arrival of garbage truck backing up to the machine at any moment.

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  16. 'Sorry your insurance won't cover oxygen during a mri unerss you call to let them know you'd like it.' That call would make the poor call center's day

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  17. Yes, the MRI room has a fresh air supply, and there is no extra charge for it!

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So wadda you think?