Monday, March 31, 2014

Mary's desk

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Urgent: "I need to see your doctor right away! My doctor told me to call you guys!"

Mary: "Well, he's out of town this week, but next week we can see you on..."

Ms. Urgent: "Well, how far away is he? I mean, like where he could drive back tomorrow to work me in?"

Mary: "No, he's gone until next week. Now..."

Ms. Urgent: "But I need to see him! Doesn't he have a partner or something?"

Mary: "No, we're a solo practice."

Ms. Urgent: "What about you? Can I see you? You work there."

Mary: "I'm a secretary, ma'am."

Ms. Urgent: "But still, you must have learned enough just from working there!"

Mary: "No. Anyway, next week we have..."

Ms. Urgent: "I could be dead by next week! And don't tell me to go to ER, either! I'm tired of going to ER's. Why isn't the doctor there, anyway?"

Mary: "He took his kids to go visit family. Now, we can..."

Ms. Urgent: "You mean he goes on vacations? What the hell? Doctors shouldn't be allowed to do that! They trade that in to care for people!"

(hangs up)


21 comments:

  1. Geez, IB. How on earth could you be selfish enough to go on vacation?! There are people that NEED YOU.

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  2. "You mean he goes on vacations? What the hell? Doctors shouldn't be allowed to do that!"

    As any doc knows, a widely held opinion among the general public.

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  3. Oh you are very, very lucky this patient called while you were away.

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  4. You went on vacation, and Mary had to stay at work and handle the calls. That does not seem fair. When does Mary go on vacation, and how do you keep things from going to hell while she is gone?

    And welcome back.

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  5. My husband is expected to answer his phone any time it rings, and it has to be on 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, there is no turning it off. On several occasions we have had a vacation planned and shortly before we were set to go his boss asked him to cancel it because he needed him. I think the next time we go anywhere I might just forget to pack his phone charger.

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  6. Doctors don't need to vacation, eat, sleep, pee, or breathe. They gave that all up for a BMW, didn't they?

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  7. I don't have that, either. I have a 2000 Maxima with one side smashed in.

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  8. You don't own the store, the store owns you.

    As a solo practice lawyer, I have come to understand that.

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  9. You keep using that word, I do not think it means what you think it means.

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  10. Pay. Mary. more!!!

    Looks like you dodged a nasty one there ~

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  11. "And what's all this nonsense about 'kids' and 'family?'"

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  12. Welcome back. Hope you had a good time, and the kids have a better (read how you will) appreciation of family.

    How did the Maxima get the side smashed? And why haven't you gone to a car surgeon (aka body shop)?

    And aren't you lucky Mary handled this! Another raise for her!!!

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  13. You might want to check your shingle and make sure it says "neurologist" rather than "psychiatrist"--you sure seem to get a lot of the latter patients!

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  14. Just say he needs vacation to procreate. Everyone likes that don't they?

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  15. Just say he needs vacation to procreate. Everyone likes that don't they?

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  16. I wouldn't want to go see a doc who didn't get to occasionally go on vacation!!!

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  17. Just how many bullets have you dodged because of Mary? More than a few I'd hazard.

    Mary, a true guard at the gate.

    :P

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  18. I thought the whole purpose of being a doctor was so you could afford to go on vacation to get away from the patients who make you want to check yourself into the psych unit.

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  19. Mary seems great, but she'd be a true superhero if she figured out who that person's doctor was that referred them so you could find out what made them hate you so much to refer that very special person.

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  20. My Dr. takes time off sometimes! How dare she?

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So wadda you think?