Thursday, December 12, 2013

Mary's desk, December, 2013

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Dr. Manding: "Hi, this is Dr. Dee Manding, and I need Dr. Grumpy to order a STAT brain MRI on me."

Mary: "Hang on... I'm not seeing you in our system. Are you a patient?"

Dr. Manding: "No, I'm a doctor. I just moved here. And I need an urgent MRI. They won't let me order it myself, so I need your doctor to do it."

Mary: "Okay, I can run this by him, but if you're not an established patient we can't order tests on you."

Dr. Manding: "I can't believe this. I'm a doctor!"

Mary: "What do you need the MRI for? I can check with him and..."

Dr. Manding: "How DARE you ask me that! I'm a doctor! If I say I need an urgent MRI, that should be good enough for you!"

Mary: "Let me go ask Dr. Grumpy."

(goes and finds me, I agree with her. I've never heard of this person)

Mary: "Okay, Dr. Manding. I spoke to Dr. Grumpy, and he says that unless you're a patient he can't order tests on you. You're welcome to come in for an appointment, though. We can see you tomorrow morning at 9:30, or..."

Dr. Manding: "I wouldn't come see Dr. Grumpy at all with this level of service. I'm a doctor, and deserve better."

Click

20 comments:

  1. My doctor is in need of an MRI? Maybe this means I will experience even shittier care at my next appointment.

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  2. And that, dear friends, is why not every moron with a Dr.titel is allowed to order ALL THE TESTS for themselves.

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  3. This is why I didn't become a nurse.

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  4. Hell, I did not go to med school, suffer through internship and residency and all that other stuff, not to mention strapping on mountain ranges of debt, to be told I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm a DOCTOR, fer gawd's sake.

    It's bad enough the hospitals will not let me operate on myself, but when other doctors say they do not trust my diagnosis ....

    Or something like that.

    stay safe.

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  5. count your blessings

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  6. Middle schoolers with a snow day.

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  7. "You really don't want to piss me off. I'm not just a doctor; I'm also a sign language interpreter, and I just got back from working at a VERY important funeral."

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  8. Have you found that certain specialties are more prone to asshat behavior? Here at the Miracle Center, we at the call center find surgeons and cardiologists about tied for pulling the Doctor equals God card with the neurosurgeons and vascular guys believing they are better than God (and every living human being). Pediatricians are the nicest, OB/GYNs pretty good and we've got a decent bunch of neurologists here. The internal medicine guys are a crapshoot. And P.S. Whelk Lad's comment was awesome.

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  9. Some people's kids think that the MD means G.O.D.

    Of course the "Dr." in question could have had a PhD in history . . .

    Just sayin'

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  10. So, all I should have to do to be treated like a doctor is say "I'm a doctor"? Good to know.

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  11. Damnit it Jim, I'm a doctor not a lowly, established patient!

    Fortunately most doctors with whom I've worked don't follow the mantra "MD stands for minor diety".

    My father's cardiologist was a complete egomaniac, but was crass, crude, and funny. I kind of want the man/woman who has to crack open the chest and re-route tiny, fragile blood vessels to be confident, cocky, and the type of guy/gal who absolutely hates to lose. Be a d-bag all you want if it is going to mean you win in the OR.

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  12. Grumpy:

    With my a&*hole meter running, my response, "I'm so sorry. Maybe you should call another doctor for your MRI."

    Stomping your foot and prancing around is just not as effective over the phone.

    But it would probably make a good YouTube video if you ever get a channel.

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  13. The fact they said I'm a doctor - about 3 times basically is 100% statistical odds that they are either... a mathametician, a teacher, or a theologist. They are definately not a clinical physician.

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  14. Just Me's comment reminds me. After my grandmother's first heart attack, my father called me after talking with the hospital to tell me what was going on. He recounted with great confusion that her doctors had been telling all sorts of lab values and stuff that didn't make any sense to him.

    So I asked: How did you introduce yourself on the phone?
    Dad: What?
    Me: Who did you say you were? Perhaps your standard 'This is Mrs. MyMother's son, Dr. A. Scientist?
    Dad: Of course!
    Me: Dad. They herd the word 'Doctor'. They aren't going to think PhD.
    Dad: Oh. (Sounds of light dawning heard over the phone line.)

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  15. Whelk Lad, You're comment was a hoot!

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  16. see if he cllsbck next week and says that he is the President...

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  17. I had a doctor about ten years ago that told me she had a neuro doctor call her for an appointment after hours so nobody would see him and know he was having seizures, and she actually did it for him. I guess patients are not allowed to know that doctors get sick too....

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So wadda you think?