Dr. Grumpy: "Do you have any other questions?"
Mr. Apocrine: "Can you smell my deodorant from over there?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh..."
Lady Apocrine: "Did you try that new brand today?"
Mr. Apocrine: "Yeah. The commercial for it sounded promising.""
Lady Apocrine: "That's what all commercials say. But I can't smell anything, which is good, I guess."
Mr. Apocrine: "Yeah, Mr. Fluffles didn't seem to notice anything different when he came up to me this morning."
Lady Apocrine: "Doctor, do you know anything about underarm sweat?"
Mr. Apocrine: "Of course he doesn't. He's a neurologist."
Lady Apocrine: "Well, don't armpits have nerves?"
Mr. Apocrine: "I don't think that's relevant here."
Lady Apocrine: "What was your question again?"
Mr. Apocrine: "I asked him if he could smell my deodorant from across the desk."
Lady Apocrine: "That was stupid."
Mr. Apocrine: "Everyone says stupid things."
Lady Apocrine (looks at me): "Okay, doc. I think we're good. Thank you."
Glad they think they are ....
ReplyDeleteA referral tithe other type of doc who deals with the nervous system seems indicated here....can you say obsessive worry?
ReplyDeleteI think you missed an opportunity to make some money by botoxing his pits.
ReplyDeleteConfident! Confident! Dry and secure...
ReplyDeleteThe mind boggles...
ReplyDeleteI think it is time for a shipwreck story where 100s died, heck were coming up to the holidays and that is when Grumpy starts cheering us up with those stories.
ReplyDeleteNow come on people, it sure beats smelling of BO and not aware or not caring, at least. This struck me as incredibly funny for some odd reason and loved the pit botoxing, hey why not. It's ALL about profit in health care.
ReplyDeleteThanks for putting the Sure deodorant commercial jingle in my head for the whole fucking day.
ReplyDeleteWouldn't you just like to bop someone sometimes? (Note to self: keep naughty fist in pocket when this particular couple shows up office.) 'Oh, dear. Excuse me, my hand sort-of slipped out there and connected with your nose'.
ReplyDeleteI was working with a twit who did nothing to help control her bipolar illness symptoms. She enjoyed testing my diagnosis of liver disease by stinking the whole pharmacy on my shift.
She'd order Subway with extra onions, then pick them out and put them in the trash basket near my desk, microwave broccoli and bacon and leave the door open, and chew Fritos and exhale across the desk from where I was working. It was an assault on my sensibilities (of smell).
People with hepatitis, cirrhosis, other liver diseases are unusually sensitive to odors, and this gal pushed all the stinkin' buttons at once.
The worst was that she conveniently failed to wear the requisite uniform, instead choosing to wear her wash-n-wear nylon fabrics which did not hold heat, and sat chatting like a bump on log while everyone around her worked, and all while wearing regular clothes under the lab jackets, so she was always 'cold' and turned up the heat in the work area sometimes past 75 degrees so that the smell of sweat was strong when moving quickly. Then, she'd casually drop a line like, 'for a woman as fat as you, you don't smell as bad as you could'.
I was pretty even-tempered before I worked with this gal, then I realized one could actually become so angry that the skin on the top of one's head shrunk, and there was such a thing as 'seeing red'.
Some people are worried about BO, and others just like to rile others so that the apocrines drain all at one time!
Tick... tick.... tick.... BOOOM!
ReplyDelete