Today I'm honored to have a contribution from everyone's favorite man-on-the-beat, Officer Cynical!
Today
I tried to stop a woman with a revoked license. We went 10 blocks with my lights
and siren going, and she acted like I wasn't there.
She finally pulled
into her driveway, and rolled down her window. The alcohol fumes rolling out of the passenger
compartment were almost visible. She said she'd taken "some
pain pills and a few muscle relaxants and maybe some other stuff" on top of it.
I arrested her and headed downtown. On the way to jail,
she said she had to go to the hospital because "the left half of my
brain is numb." So, to be safe, I took her to ER.
I told the ER doc what
she said, and he responded (with a straight face), "Well, that doesn't
sound right". He agreed with me that it was more likely the whole brain -
not just the left half - that was numb.
He went out to my squad car in
the ambulance port and told her, "When whatever you're on clears, if your
brain is still numb you can come back." Then he signed off on the jail
clearance and we left.
Outstanding.
Thank you, Officer Cynical, for reminding us what you all put up with. I liked your blog.
ReplyDeleteDumb dumb
ReplyDeletenumb numb
Not a coincidence that those two rhyme.
I miss your blog, Officer Cynical.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting today!
My life is so predictable, get up, walk dog, shower, go to work, come home eat dinner, go to sleep....I think tomorrow I will load up on pain pills and boozed just because.
ReplyDeleteI just don't get the thought process that goes on with them.
Tequila was involved, I just KNOW it!
ReplyDeleteNaw ~ tequila makes her clothes fall off...
ReplyDeleteI drink, I drive, I go to jail, I lose my license.
ReplyDeleteOh dear. I've seen one or two cases like this where the detained person has woken up in her cell with a totally and utterly numb, cold, dead brain in the morning. And the paper work that generates...... A good slug of methadone on top of her tequila 5 minutes before she met the good officer would do it. and ther's all those new, nasty head shop intoxicants around as well. They mix terribly well with alcohol.
ReplyDeleteHooray for Officer Cynical guest post!
ReplyDeleteYou are awesome O.C.Keep up the fight! I wish they paid you what you're worth...
ReplyDeleteSaw a similar moron a few nights ago>
ReplyDeleteWas in a parking lot at Walmart and saw a cop car, lights flashing, pull up into the lot. He was closely tailing a red car, who was obviously not paying him any attention. She even stopped to let pedestrians through, and then park.
Last I saw, the cop was talking to the woman, and the log turned up that she was driving without a license.
I just like how she ignored a flashing cop car. Did she think that wishing it away would make it disappear?
I would have asked for a neuro consult.
ReplyDelete