Years ago, Freebase Pharmaceuticals assigned a pretty blond sales rep to my office. Like most reps, she scheduled lunches with us here and there.
One lunch, in spite of the fact that Pissy and I, and our staffs, were there, she decided to try to increase sales by aggressively coming on to me. Asking questions like:
"Does your wife ever travel and leave you alone?"
"I live on the north side. Let me give you my number, in case you're ever in that area."
"I have a meeting near here this Saturday. Any chance you'll be at your office that day?"
The highlight, however, was what she didn't know.
This was at a time when Mary was out on maternity leave. And filling in for her was Mrs. Grumpy.
Who was sitting directly behind Miss Hooters (who she figured was just the secretary).
So, while Miss Hooters was discussing her pharmaceutical wares and underwares, my wife didn't say a word. She just made faces at me over Miss Hooter's shoulder, occasionally holding up bunny ears behind the rep's head, or the finger, or her sandwich, or whatever office supplies were within reach.
Pissy, who had the same view of the show as I did, pretended to have a coughing fit to keep from laughing, and ran out.
I would've totally tried to get the rep on board with the idea of a threesome with your "secretary".
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't be able to not laugh. mrs. grumpy sounds awesome :)
ReplyDeleteMaybe you were just really good looking that day :)
ReplyDeleteThree cheers for Mrs. Grumpy! I know women who would have thrown the hussy out. Headfirst (Not such a good idea. Then she might have needed Dr. G.)
ReplyDeleteThe hussy may have been trying for an "upgrade." To Mrs. Doctor.
Now I know that that is not always a good idea, but I don't think these women are hired for that kind of smarts.
Oh how I wish you would have said "Hold on, let me ask 'Oh, Mrs. Grumpy, when is your next out of town trip?'"
ReplyDeleteYeah, you should have waited until she was ready to leave and then said, "Oh, I forgot to introduce you. This is my wife."
ReplyDeleteKABOOM.
On the other hand, you could have told her your wife has to approve all affairs and when is she available for an interview? Bonus points for pulling out a calendar (or pretending to, on your phone or whatever) to see when the next availability is, muttering, "hmm that day, no, that's when Cindy is interviewing, but maybe Saturday after Lara's 'visit', is 4pm a good time for you?"
Agreed - you and Mrs. (Saint on earth) Grumpy should have been in cahoots and skewered this tramp.
ReplyDeleteI would have been like Pissy, only wetting my pants from coughing so hard.
ReplyDeleteYou must either look a lot hotter than your picture on the blog or prescribe some really expensive drugs.
ReplyDeleteNo pharmaceutical rep has ever come on to me. Then again, I don't look even as hot as the picture on the blog!
I'm with Harlowe & Moose!!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Ms. Donna and Moose. She was trying to upgrade and you should have found some way at the end to introduce your "secretary".
ReplyDeleteThis was the funniest story you've told to date, to my eyes, Ibee. :) You and your wife are welcome to come hang out in my family's kitchen any ol' time - you sound like our kind of silly peeps!
ReplyDeleteDr. Grumpy - the Mrs's attitude says a lot about her and a lot about YOU - in that she trusts YOU.
ReplyDeleteThat's a healthy marriage - congrats to you both!
When I was a pre-med I was doing some shadowing in a large combined Primary/Urgent care sort of place, and one of docs gave me his name badge and I trolled this chick hard for almost two hours. I have acting skills and am a good bullshitter so the staff was crammed in there the whole time enjoying the show, which got pretty hot and heavy, every double entendre in the book.
ReplyDeleteI finally turned and gave the doc back his badge, revealing my "visitor from pre-med program" sticker. Asked her if we were still on for that weekend. No such "luck". Lulz. (She was kinda skanky and I was married).
I actually consulted one of the docs a few months back and he said "We really thought she was going to drop your pants right then and there and get to work". They never saw her again.
Always the contrarian, I suspect that Mrs G would tell it something like this. There was the hot rep and IBee did not realize that he was falling all over himself trying to impress, even though I was there in the background.......The girl could not have been less interested in him , but she was drop dead gorgeous, so to get him to snap to I started....
ReplyDeleteThe next time I find myself in a room full of doctors, I'm gonna find out where the neurologists sit for lunch and park my tray.
ReplyDeleteYou neuros know how to party!
^^^ this comment wins the internet. Neuro was my 2nd choice match and we consult Barrow
ReplyDeleteSkanky reps give the rest of us a bad name. You should have reported her behavior to her company. At the very least, she could have introduced herself to the other staff members, where she would have discovered that Mrs. Grumpy was a guest at the lunch.
ReplyDeleteA fee of us have brains (science and health care backgrounds), as well as class and common sense.
Bad apples in every barrel....Encountered Dear friend's x (ortho doc) husband, who had moved on to #3 wife (was in "relationship"with next er, victim, while friend was pregnant) late night in service elevator as I was finishing rounds at end of long week. So I know I was not looking close to ravishing and was too tired to step off to another floor.... He spent the seemingly longest elevator ride of my life trying to hit on me. Finally, I asked about his daughter's school play. Resulted in his facial convulsion , and increased attempts to come on to me.... only verbal. because I was hoping to hvae excuse to hit the guy by then (no witness, no camera in that elevator).
ReplyDelete