Sunday, April 29, 2012

Sunday Reruns

So following the time-honored tradition of my Bible (Chapter 20- Execute Forms at Dawn) I'm sitting here doing miscellaneous paperwork.

For those of you who have never had to deal with employer health forms, they are a freaking nightmare. A remarkable collection of stupid questions, redundancy, and more redundancy.

Today I'm completing job forms for one of my epilepsy patients, who works in sales. Questions from his employer include:

Is Mr. Shakes capable of working in sales during a seizure? (depends on what he's selling)

Would a seizure at work impair Mr. Shakes' job performance? (No! Who could resist an unconscious salesman who just wet himself?)

Will Mr. Shakes need to leave work to attend doctor appointments? (Of course not, I'll just swing by in the Grumpymobile)

If Mr. Shakes has a seizure, will it be necessary for him to leave work? (No, just leave him lying in the aisle)

Between seizures, is it safe for Mr. Shakes to operate a golf cart for clients? (NO! Wait till he's having a seizure, THEN let him operate it)
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8 comments:

  1. Off Duty CPhTApril 29, 2012 at 1:47 PM

    I think all your answers are appropriate.
    Also, the company's concern for their employee is remarkable.

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousApril 29, 2012 at 5:06 PM

    Those questions are nasty! Framed by a lawyer for the express purpose of building a case for termination of the employee. I hope he can afford his own attorney -- sounds like he's going to need one.

    ReplyDelete
  3. nursemdApril 29, 2012 at 8:05 PM

    The Grumpymobile. Picturing a cross between the Batmobile and that dog van from Dumb & Dumber. Love it. (And the rest of the post was great too! :)

    ReplyDelete
  4. LoApril 29, 2012 at 8:09 PM

    Ouch.....I hurt from laughing......thank you darling Dr. G.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 7:38 AM

    Unfortunately, these forms are not new to me. Every 3 months, I have to have my docs verify that I do, in fact, still need follow-ups, and do in fact, still have cancer (chronic, metastatic, hopefully for many, many years). It's funny now, but at first, it was just cruel.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 8:36 AM

    I really hope you don't practice in a right to work state.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousApril 30, 2012 at 1:59 PM

    Yep., My doc got one of those right after my stroke. While I was still in a coma.

    Mr.
    Shakes Had better have a good lawyer. I don't know, is it ethical for your practice to let Mr. S. now this form is being circulated?

    ReplyDelete
  8. JonoApril 30, 2012 at 3:01 PM

    Then the employer passes the information to the insurance company who is really the one in charge of health care.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?