But this one is thoroughly annoying:
Let's look at this:
1. It uses the word "artisan" twice. Once to make you nauseous, and once to make you puke.
2. It's a FREAKIN' JAR OF HONEY PEOPLE! Humans can't even make it.
3. The "Artisan honey keepers" are BEES! I'm pretty sure they aren't making this claim, any more than my dog claims to be an "artisan shitpile keeper."
4. If you're going to put a "gluten free" label on honey, maybe it's time we started putting "fat free" stickers on water.
This is like when fruits/vegetables are described as "cholesterol free".
ReplyDeleteYeah, I don't like animals in my fruits/veggies, either. D'oh.
My favorite claim on honey is "organic." I love seeing that at the local farmers' market.
ReplyDeleteI ask them if the clover was pesticide free.
I think what's bothering me most here is actually the (I hope!) grammatical error there. It's "made BY" artisan honey keepers, not "made FROM." Because if it's made FROM the honey KEEPERS than it either contains people, or bees, depending on how you look at that. And while I like eating honey, I don't want to eat the BEES, or the bee keepers either!
ReplyDeleteSpark- I noticed that too, but didn't comment on it. I agree with you.
ReplyDeleteI am pretty sure organic honey can be certified as such if the surrounding fields are pesticide free within a certain range. I believe in Europe the distance is 3 kilometers. The US is far more lax in it's rules for what is organic.
ReplyDeleteI once saw a bag of sugar that said "fat free" on it.
ReplyDeleteway overkill on the label!
ReplyDeleteThe day will soon come when "artisan" is seen near the words
"diet coke" and it will be an awful day, as a fellow diet coke receptacle.
All true. "Artisana" is precious, which means, however, that you CAN put a price tag on it.
ReplyDelete"Artisan Preserves"...made from real artisans? Preserved Artisans? Hmmm, I'll pass, thanks.
ReplyDeleteWait... Water is fat free???
ReplyDelete(Just kidding!)
To be fair, the bees are probrably closer to being artisans than the bee-keepers.
ReplyDeleteI did have a store manager ask me about jams (jelly???) and gluten free once - a customer was demanding they re-label their products as he had reacted to his jam on toast for breakfast as if there was gluten in it. Didn't occur to him he'd picked up crumbs from his wife's plate or something. No - there had to be gluten in the strawberry jam he bought from them...
ReplyDeleteI have started reading the word "artisan" as "overpriced." Just make that substitution every time you see the word, and it makes perfect sense.
ReplyDeleteMy bottled water proudly proclaims it to have 0 calories! Who knew?
ReplyDeleteHoney preserves. Honey, preserves. I'm sorry I thought honey was basically bee vomit and that "preserves" are fruit concoctions that require boiling and reducing stuff. There are so many thing wrong with that label.
ReplyDeleteBut Doc! Even Domino's Pizza is now artisan, or was it "artisanal"? it's so hard to keep track of these days... I sure hope the FDA gets on these artsy folks so they can get their labels straight.
ReplyDeleteThank you Dr. Grumpy, I am now going to make millions of dollars selling "FAT FREE!!!1!! WATER!" to idiots.
ReplyDeletelol - my favorite "Glueten Free" sigh I saw was at the liquor store. The store had a sign up indicating that the Tanqueray Gin was glueten free... umm... o.k.
ReplyDeleteHoney is naturally Gluten free but can become contaminated depending on the packaging facility. A product that is labeled gluten free must be tested and contain no more than 20 ppm of gluten. This is true of natural gluten free foods like milk. Contamination of the food system by gluten is very easy just ask anyone with Celiac disease. So the gluten free labeling means the product has been and is periodically tested to maintain a level of gluten bellow 20 ppm.
ReplyDeleteEven though I have celiac,I didn't know that,fuzzybob!Thanks for the info.
ReplyDeleteThough it does kinda crack me up when certain foods where it should be a duh-thing that they are gluten free have a gluten free label...though I guess it also makes it easier for those who do not know much about gluten to be able to pick out something for a family member who cannot have it.
My favorite "huh"? label is on Florida Crystals, which are natural cane sugar, sort of like "Sugar in the Raw".
ReplyDeleteThe bag proudly proclaims them to be "Carbon Free".
Think about it.
I really, really, want to know the chemical formula for that stuff!
Ok, being the daughter and sister of beekeepers I have to put in my comments. Growing up, I extracted honey with my father and brothers so I know the whole process from beginning to end.
ReplyDelete1. Honey is not a preserve!
2. The beekeeper(human)is not an aritsan. The honeykeepers(bees) create the honey!
3. Of course it's 100% natural, there is no chemical substitute for honey!
4. And of course it's gluten free! No beekeeper I know happens to be baking in their warehouse alongside their extraction equipment and honey tanks!
This label is all about marketing and jacking up the price for this BS labeled honey. If you don't know that honey is gluten-free, you aren't using your brain! What a crock!
Harvest Song is People!!!!
ReplyDeleteI would have thought you would love this one. If they are making the honey out of the artisans, that means fewer of them will be available to craft other artisanal products.
I have seen water labeled as fat free...
ReplyDeleteI hate the term organic meaning pesticide free, or grown w/out chemicals. Organic is a term for something living... of course my tomatoes are organic, they aren't made of steel.