Sunday, February 12, 2012

Election 2012

As my readers know, I'm running for President this year.

Now, admittedly, my entire campaign thus far is based on one issue, but yesterday while attending a 9-year-old girl's birthday party with my kids, I came up with a second point.

While I strongly support freedom of expression, I also believe some times are better than others to express your beliefs.

So, if elected President, I promise you this:

Any father who shows up at his 9-year daughter's birthday party wearing a T-shirt that says "IT AIN'T GONNA SUCK ITSELF" with an arrow pointing downwards, will be immediately castrated by specially trained fashion police.

Vote Grumpy, 2012!
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42 comments:

  1. JoAnna WahlundFebruary 12, 2012 at 10:25 AM

    You have my vote.

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  2. Texas Pharmacy ChicaFebruary 12, 2012 at 10:34 AM

    ...by 'police', you mean rabid beavers, right?

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  3. UnknownFebruary 12, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    I like your campaign issues.

    I think siccing Dr. Phil on said fashion offender would be pretty hilarious.

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  4. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 11:50 AM

    This father was no doubt a firm believer in family values.

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  5. Quarter Life CrisisFebruary 12, 2012 at 12:09 PM

    I totally support you for president, Grumpy!

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  6. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 12:17 PM

    To think that man has reproduced.

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  7. gloria pFebruary 12, 2012 at 12:58 PM

    You've got my vote. I can't believe anything that offensive would be sold or worn. I wouldn't send my kids to that house to play, EVER.

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  8. outreFebruary 12, 2012 at 1:57 PM

    I vote for putting leeches on his ‘it’

    Grumpy 2012!

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  9. BerthaFebruary 12, 2012 at 2:22 PM

    I will support your candidacy, and also I would like to apply for the job of fashion police.

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  10. Alex DreamzFebruary 12, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    You know, in a way that guy is doing his part to change the world....
    As long as he's wearing that shirt, there's no danger of contaminating the gene pool (his daughter didn't inherit any of his genes, it was immaculate conception - so no worries on that point!)

    WV: ancespej -- I'm sure it has something to do with this guy's ancestry, but my fingers can't force themselves to type it

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  11. PollyFebruary 12, 2012 at 2:25 PM

    Bravo! I will vote for you AND volunteer with your fashion police!

    (I used to work in a children's museum, and while I don't recall seeing anything quite as bad as that, people definitely wore T shirts that I thought were pretty inappropriate.)

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  12. jimbo26February 12, 2012 at 2:30 PM

    You've got my vote ( I live in the UK ) .

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  13. watercolordaisyFebruary 12, 2012 at 3:18 PM

    omg. I think the leeches idea is awesome!!!

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  14. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 3:26 PM

    I will vote for you Grumpy, but only if Nurse K is your running mate.

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  15. MichelleFebruary 12, 2012 at 3:28 PM

    I'm curious...Did anyone say anything to him about it? Perhaps the host loaned him a different shirt to wear?

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  16. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 3:37 PM

    Chauvinistic asshole. Tell him maybe that would be his daughter´s job one day.

    *face palm*

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  17. SilliyakFebruary 12, 2012 at 3:47 PM

    You got my vote, Outre for VP!

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  18. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 4:31 PM

    I second Michelle's question, did anyone say anything to the jerk?

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  19. MooseFebruary 12, 2012 at 5:14 PM

    OH my head. Half of me wonders what (or even if) that jerk was thinking. The other half just doesn't want to know.

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  20. Grumpy, M.D.February 12, 2012 at 5:29 PM

    Michelle- not that I'm aware of.

    Mrs. Grumpy talked me out of it, on the grounds that I am neither his wife or mother, and that doing so would cause more problems at his daughter's party than it was worth.

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  21. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 6:38 PM

    Well, one could always attach a vacuum cleaner to it. Maybe to clean it off, ya know? I doubt he'd wear the shirt after that. Might show up in Nurse K's ER tho.

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  22. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 7:19 PM

    Photos from the birthday party just happen to show up at the local constabulary, with a note that says I am worried about this man.

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  23. CFebruary 12, 2012 at 7:26 PM

    eewwww. I would have taken my child home immediately and not gone back....ever. Seriously, if the guy thinks that is OK for little girls, he has a problem and let us not discover how extensive the problem is. Creepy. Possible that if I went there for an adult party, I would have left too. Better to leave than to wind up experiencing more of his...er...sense of humor. If that is what it is.

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  24. AnonymousFebruary 12, 2012 at 9:05 PM

    Grumpy, You should have found a way to say something to him, like you wanted to. Maybe something along the lines of "I might be conservative, which I know isn't your problem, but I though I could at least ask if you would change your shirt. There are young kids here and all, and I'd rather not have to explain blowjobs to my 9 year old yet." If he says no, then drop it, but at least you tried.

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  25. RamblingFebruary 12, 2012 at 11:49 PM

    Oh my. Unbelievable.

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  26. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 12:06 AM

    Another volunteer for the fashion police here. I'll bring the rusty hacksaw blades.

    Also, if I were (may all the gods and fishes forbid!) his wife, I'd start leaving signs around the house with arrows pointing: These dishes aren't going to wash themselves. Those socks and boxers aren't going to get themselves off the floor and into the laundry. That garage isn't going to clean itself.

    And so on. And then I'd get a terrible case of chronic lockjaw.

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  27. a.generic docFebruary 13, 2012 at 4:11 AM

    Not only is it tacky, but the odds are it probably doesn't get result he wants even from someone of an appropriate age.

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  28. MalFebruary 13, 2012 at 5:43 AM

    I'm with anon at 8.05. And my kid would not be visiting that house again. Children don't need to be exposed to that sort of attitude.

    You may not be this mans parent, but you are a parent, and if one of your kids was at that party (I'm assuming Marie) then you should have either spoken up, or removed them, and yourself. You have a responsibility to teach your children by example, that offensive misogynistic behaviour should not be accepted. Twenty years from now, when it's Maries boyfriend or husband that shows up wearing that shirt, what do you want her to do?

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  29. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 7:35 AM

    I doesn't sound like he's the kind of person who would listen to his mother or wife. Maybe only another man could get through to him.

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  30. tbunniFebruary 13, 2012 at 11:25 AM

    So why are there no "Ibee Grumpy for Prez 2012" stickers to be found? How can I show my support for you and my complete and utter distain for all other aspirants to the position of President of the United States? Get thee some stickers, pronto!

    ReplyDelete
  31. skidmartkFebruary 13, 2012 at 12:00 PM

    Hook him up with this: http://ambulancedriverfiles.com/2012/02/09/weiner-roast/ - WARNING-- very graphic NSFW pictures

    If nothing else, it might get his attention.

    stay safe.

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  32. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 12:41 PM

    You've got my vote. I like the leeches idea too.

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  33. MockingbirdFebruary 13, 2012 at 1:49 PM

    I'll vote for Grumpy! I don't want to know if that guy's junk is artisnal

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  34. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 3:35 PM

    I hope the party was at his ex-wife's home.

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  35. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 4:02 PM

    Betting he's gonna regret that shirt when the party pics are shared with the relatives :))

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  36. Mad JackFebruary 13, 2012 at 4:17 PM

    Why is it that just when you decide there aren't going to be any more big surprises something like this happens. Truly, you lead an interesting life.

    I don't know what I would have done. Leaving comes to mind, but only after I'd made my objections to the offensive tee shirt known to everyone in the room. But then, Main Lady would likely forbid me to do anything rash.

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  37. AnonymousFebruary 13, 2012 at 7:32 PM

    WHERE do you live?!?! Seriously...I wanna stay as far away as possible. You are a magnet for the strange and often offensive!

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  38. RehabRNFebruary 13, 2012 at 9:54 PM

    Grumpy:

    Yes, you and Nurse K could be the candidates on the No BS platform.

    All I have to say re: the shirt...WTF?

    The wienie roast pics are a cautionary tale. Friends don't let friends (inebriated ones at least) pee on electric fences.

    You could end up with a burnt wienie!

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  39. WordyGirlFebruary 13, 2012 at 10:10 PM

    Please tell me you made him leave???

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  40. JSiFebruary 15, 2012 at 1:52 PM

    Oh. My. Gosh.

    Classy, indeed.

    Dr. Grumpy 2012!

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  41. AnonymousFebruary 17, 2012 at 4:49 PM

    I think he's a pedophile. Definitely doesn't know proper boundaries. Keep your daughter away from him and safe.

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  42. kdogladyFebruary 19, 2012 at 2:06 PM

    Stay tuned for: Law & Order: Special Fashion Victims Unit.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?