Thursday, December 1, 2011

Dr. Grumpy's 2011 Gift Guide

It's December 1, the Christmakuh/Kwanzaa/Solstice/Festivus season is upon us, and it's time to roll out the annual holiday gift guide. As always, we at Grumpy Neurology, P.C. scour the internet and catalogs year-round so you don't have to!

In the past I've focused on gifts for humans, but since dogs are a big part of our families, I thought I'd kick off this year with something for them. And what better gift for a furry friend than his own sex doll?

(click to enlarge, if you're into that sort of thing)







Yes, the HotDoll doggy love toy is available in 2 sizes (looks like small and medium from the site, I don't see anything for a Great Dane), and is "made to be easily distinguished by dog’s eyes."

It also notes that "the pink hole needs to be washed regularly for hygienic reasons," a job which will likely spark more family fights than "whose turn is it to pick up the dog poop?"

I can just see this being marketed with The Rolling Stones belting out a modified version of one of their classics:

"Hey! You! Get off of my leg!
Don't hang around, or sit up and beg!"

The site doesn't say if there are other models that require batteries, but quite frankly I don't want to know.
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29 comments:

  1. Mrs. GrumpyDecember 1, 2011 at 8:24 AM

    Can I get one for my husband?

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 8:50 AM

    That's it, always discriminating against Great Danes (I know my Dane will be so heartbroken)!

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 9:09 AM

    Please, nobody get my dog one of these for Christmas!

    ReplyDelete
  4. PackerDecember 1, 2011 at 10:54 AM

    Spay and neuter, how many times to I have to say that.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not HouseDecember 1, 2011 at 11:26 AM

    0-o

    Wow.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 11:35 AM

    Are there accessories if Fido is into ruff sex too?

    ReplyDelete
  7. Li'l AzathothDecember 1, 2011 at 11:37 AM

    Rover's Little Helper- This Beast of Burden is guaranteed to get your pet's Rocks Off and bring it Satisfaction. But when you handle this artificial Bitch, don't reach Down in the Hole, or you might get Sticky Fingers.

    ReplyDelete
  8. bobbieDecember 1, 2011 at 11:42 AM

    Mrs. Grumpy ~ I just about pee'd in my pants...
    Thanks for the huge laugh!

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:06 PM

    Do they call it the "Lassie Come Home?"

    ReplyDelete
  10. BarbDecember 1, 2011 at 12:12 PM

    That's just plain wrong! :P

    ReplyDelete
  11. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 12:19 PM

    What flavors does the lube come in?

    ReplyDelete
  12. Barky von BarksteinDecember 1, 2011 at 12:55 PM

    Umm, I rather get some artisanal bourbon, in the convenient family size jug.

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 1:58 PM

    "Hi, I want to buy this, uh, for my dog, yeah, that's right, for my dog..."

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 2:43 PM

    Oh my God....That is so gross and disturbing! O_O

    ~Francine

    ReplyDelete
  15. DianaDecember 1, 2011 at 4:31 PM

    OH. HELL. NO!!!!!!

    That said, please get your minds out of the gutter for this. Humping is also a sign of dominance in a dog. As it is when a female dog lifts her leg to pee.

    Guys, please do not go humping a female under the guise of a dominance display. It will only get you hurt.

    ReplyDelete
  16. ElmoDecember 1, 2011 at 6:30 PM

    ...stainable, Great Dane-able you...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6raVzrbqrM

    ;)

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousDecember 1, 2011 at 7:04 PM

    For the pet in your life that has everything! Will these be under the Grumpy's "Tree" or "Hanukkah Bush" this year?

    ReplyDelete
  18. MooseDecember 1, 2011 at 8:43 PM

    Jumpin Jeebus, Grumpy, now I need the extra strong brain bleach.

    BLECH.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Mike LooneyDecember 1, 2011 at 8:48 PM

    The actual URL is http://hotdollfordog.com/

    1) It's French. I'll just leave it at that
    2) The cost 149 freaking euros.
    149 euros = 200.81 US dollars, plus shipping. From France.
    3) Ewwww

    ReplyDelete
  20. A Doc 2 BeDecember 2, 2011 at 12:34 AM

    Bummer. Never a toy for the big guys...

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sharon MarieDecember 2, 2011 at 5:27 AM

    My chihuahua has a stuffed animal that she uses to uhhh, relieve the "itch." Costs a lot less at Big Lots. LOL!

    ReplyDelete
  22. myoclonicjerkDecember 2, 2011 at 9:44 AM

    Your lyrics also fit perfectly with Ludacris' 'Move B#tch."

    Anonymous at 10:35: I think a collar and leash will work just fine.

    ReplyDelete
  23. ElliDecember 2, 2011 at 10:24 AM

    I thought the first one was just a comfort object for a sleeping puppy, like a terrycloth mother for those baby rhesus monkeys in the experiments.

    The second one, though, sort of removes the veil.

    ReplyDelete
  24. bobbieDecember 2, 2011 at 11:40 AM

    Mike Looney ~ LOVED the video ~ especially the "For trendy dogs, only!" line!!
    I'm surprised they didn't call it "artisanal"!!

    ReplyDelete
  25. lbparkerDecember 2, 2011 at 11:59 AM

    Its french--well, that explains everything.

    wv = naler: (snort!) How appropriate.

    ReplyDelete
  26. ERPDecember 2, 2011 at 3:58 PM

    That's perfect. Maybe post that picture in your waiting room and the company will give you some kickbacks.

    ReplyDelete
  27. The Quirked EyebrowDecember 3, 2011 at 10:56 PM

    This is illegal on some planets,
    right?

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousDecember 7, 2011 at 8:31 PM

    I am SO glad I am a cat lover.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Learned HandDecember 14, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    Ok, I made an involuntary sound of disgust and put my hand to my chest when I read the "pink hole" portion.

    Wow. This is so much worse than the giraffe pants. This may be the worst (non-tragic) thing I have ever read.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?