Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Death by Magnet

Dear MRI facility,

My reader Jeanette was kind enough to send me the pamphlet you left at her office, showing the advantages of your new, non-claustrophobic, no-tube MRI machine.




I did a highly unscientific poll of claustrophobic patients since then, and all agreed that they'd rather get Valium and do a regular MRI than your "simulated lynching" technique.

But, since I often occasionally sit here and think about strangling my patients, I'll be sure to keep you in mind.

17 comments:

  1. Not a doctor here. That MRI image looks like something is being squished around C3/C4 that I'd rather not have squished. So how would you know whether the squishing is an artifact of the positioning or a pathology?

    I had an MRI and an MRA in one day back in February and had learned from the shoulder MRI the previous year to bring a dark washcloth to cover my eyes which took care of any claustrophobia.

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  2. Endorsed by actor David Carradine, musician Kevin Gilbert, cartoonist Vaughan Bode, and British politician Stephen Milligan!

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  3. hmmm... i've never seen a hangman's fracture on any of the open MRI adverse events reports. guess you learn something new every day.

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  4. Is that woman standing up? Screw that, how am I supposed to take my nap standing? I'll take the tube, thank you very much.

    word verification: skeello.

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  5. Valium and the tube for me, in spite of what my chiropractor says about the truths revealed only through a weight-bearing MRI.

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  6. ib, those shadows look like serious trouble. or no?

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  7. The Shadows aren't an issue. It's the Vorlons I worry about.

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  8. Sadly, I went ant looked it up. It's just a power cord going to the collar and her position is just a bad one for advertising it. You can see in the other photos that it's just a weird position. Which is no fun for snark.

    word verification: felbo, which I misread as fellatio.

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  9. Shadows and Vorlons reference---Grumpy did you have a pocket protector in high school ?


    I swear I had to google it to be sure.

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  10. I have to say the standing MRI is a hugely valuable tool for me as a neurosurgeon. I send occasional patients to the closest machine in a different state to have studies done; the images usually make the difference between surgery and no surgery for the patient.

    You can clearly see the degree of nerve and spinal cord compression in different positions. For instance, this patient in extension has cord compression that might well not be appreciable on a supine MRI in a neutral position.

    I think this ad is more for physicians than patients. I love seeing how you can get extreme extension pictures, because it's something I need that my hospital doesn't have. A patient might be put off by this photo, however.

    By the way, all the patients I have sent for standing MRI's liked the experience much better than the tube!!

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  11. I've had 2 non-tube MRIs and sat upright for them. I still have to have valium and nothing short of anesthesia will get me into a tube.

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  12. I am claustrophobic. Never had a MRI, but give me Valium and the tube.

    Among other things, anything that is too tight around my neck makes me freak out. My definition of 'too tight' will probably be different to almost everyone. I would need Valium to get through the mock strangling.

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  13. Actually, that looks like fun.

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  14. I've had one MRI, but it was no trouble. No sedative, and no cloth over my eyes. I kept my eyes open. It's not all that small, as tubes go, but kind of boring.

    I guess I would have a made a good spelunker.

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  15. Shadows and Vorlons ... Hmmmmmm ... Have to ask our favorite Yak herder what he thinks of Heinlein.

    No a pocket protector was Not de riguer for liking B5, but a slide rule helped ...

    Wondering how many young'uns will be looking THAT up!

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  16. Heh, I've had a ton of MRIs. The staff hate it when I have them, because I fall asleep while having it done and I move in my sleep. I'm deaf and the sound of the MRI is just a soft rhythmic noise to me and it puts me to sleep every time.

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  17. MRI, body scans and anything related to radiation freaks me out!! so if I'm ever told I could benefit from it i would first ask for any other alternatives. But if one day I'm told I'm in critical condition and my life depends on it...then i will choose the tube.

    I've never had an MRI (so i don't know if you can be awake during the whole process) but if u could stay awake, and if it takes long ..wouldn't it be a good idea to have like a tv screen right in front of u so could watch movies and stuff?...

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So wadda you think?