Dr. Grumpy: "Hi, I'm Dr. Grumpy. Have a seat... What can I do for you?"
Mrs. Newpatient: "You wrote me a script for physical therapy, and I lost it. When I finally found it last month the therapy place said it was too old, and that I needed a new one."
Dr. Grumpy: "Hang on, ma'am... "(frantically searching computer) "um, I've never seen you before, let alone ordered therapy for you. We don't have anyone by your name or birthday in the system."
Mrs. Newpatient: "That's not true! I have your script right here!"
And she pulls out a discolored, dog-eared, wrinkled, physical therapy order from freakin' 1994, written, by me, on the order forms from the hospital I did my residency at.
At least she didn't toss it. She sounds like she has MY level of organization. :)
ReplyDeleteI feel like only a hoarder would have papers from 1994... but am impressed that she tracked you down.
ReplyDeleteJust so you know I was in 4th grade when you wrote that script.
ReplyDeleteThanks. Between that and my tinning hair style now I really feel like shit.
ReplyDeleteEh, don't feel bad. My mentor graduated with his Ph.D. before I was born.
ReplyDeleteI'm with Thatgirl, it's very impressive that she tracked you down. Hey, feel flattered that she recognized you despite your tinning hair style.
ReplyDeleteThat is seriously awesome. I'm impressed.
ReplyDeleteWhat is the statute of limitations on an Rx for PT?
ReplyDeleteApparently less than 17 years.
ReplyDelete::stunned for a minute:: I've been having to see physicians for other than physicals and minor problems since 1979 and I just can't seem to wrap my head around not going to PT as soon as it was prescribed. Or, if time lapsed due to monetary circumstance, I would at the very least call back the referring physician to explain why I had not done so.
ReplyDeleteOne would think that someone with this level of confusion could keep up with the order!
But the real question is wtf inspired her to try and fill the PT script after 17 years?
ReplyDeleteIf she's still alive, I guess the PT wasn't all that critical.
ReplyDeleteHave you thought of seeing a neurologist for your forgetfulness?
ReplyDeleteClearly she couldn't have needed the PT that badly...or has she been getting around in a wheelchair for 17 years because she couldn't find the prescription?
ReplyDeleteI am not sure I even know how to respond to this. Wow! What was your reaction? After you picked your jaw up of the floor and fluffed up your thinning hair?
ReplyDeleteAlso, don't feel badly. When that script was written I was already teaching and in graduate school?
Are you getting ready to take your yearly summer vacation with the family?
Happy 4th of July to all!
"And have you heard that new song about a black hole sun? By the way, it turns out that the guy who made 'Reservoir Dogs' has a second movie coming out; do you know if it's supposed to be any good?"
ReplyDelete"I was on my way to the appointment with the physical therapist, but then they closed down the road because the police were chasing some guy in a white Ford Bronco. I wonder what ever happened with that?"
ReplyDeleteNo statute of limitations here in the UK with the NHS!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1357893/Jenny-Marshall-54-offered-hospital-appointment--28-YEARS-going-doctor-injured-ankle.html
Maybe you should stop *tinning* your hair. You're attracting people who wear tin hats at home to keep the guvmint from reading their thoughts.
ReplyDelete"I was just about to call the physical therapist to make an appointment, when my phone rang. It was a friend of mine who called to tell me about this new computer program called 'Mosaic' that let you look at this new thing called the 'World Wide Web.' I decided to check it out, so I sat down for a few minutes.....long story short, here I am now."
ReplyDeleteWhat was your response when she produced the order form? My first question was why now?
ReplyDelete1994. I got married in 1994. I also got a quote that year from a wedding photographer. Hmmm. If I decide to renew my vows do you think I could dig out that quote and use it?
ReplyDeleteJust think, she's been losing sleep over this the past 17 years (why she didn't pick up a phone and call before then is beyond me--maybe she didn't remember your name then?)
ReplyDeleteI plan to pursue medicine after undergraduate. If I succeed, I would like to thank you for writing this post as I will now make sure to change my name after I leave residency as to ensure this does not happen.
ReplyDeleteOn that note, I must marvel at her determination to track you down.
ahahhahaaaa!!!
ReplyDelete"I just kept thinking it would get better but it never did..."
how could you not remember one of your dearest patients?
ReplyDelete"Every time I think I'm out, they pull me back in!!!"
ReplyDeleteSo, did you give her a new referral? And if you did, did you scheadule her follow-up appointment with you seventeen years from now??
ReplyDeletemaybe she spent 17 years looking for that script? lol.
ReplyDeleteoh man, i was in second grade in 1994...
So funny. But you were still busted.
ReplyDeleteA couple of years ago I had someone call wanting a refill on the Amoxicillin (the "magic pink stuff") that she "used for her dog's back pain." We searched the database, could not find her or her dog. Dug the old computer system out of the store room. Nothing there either. Finally had her bring the bottle in: Hand written in the late eighties. Apparantly a couple drops every few months helped her dog with IVDD. Got real pissed when we expected her to bring her dog in for an exam before refilling it. Possibly the same client?!?
ReplyDeleteDepending on when that script was written, it could actually be a few months older than me.
ReplyDeleteDr. Grumpy! ::gasp:: How dare you forget a patient! You should hang your head in shame!
ReplyDeleteSeriously, I'm kind of impressed with the fact that she tracked you down! Are you still associated with the hospital you did your residency at in any way?
Saw this today and thought you'd enjoy, since it's very similar...people will try anything.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.fmylife.com/work/16970431