I went in to the hospital on Saturday to see a longtime patient of mine. As I was riding up to the 7th floor two guys, both with huge beards, got on the elevator with me.
Guy #1: "It's just shit. I mean, all that shit, ya know, and no real shit to show for it. I'm tired of this shit. Shit, I'm gonna tell her that, cause neither of us needs this shit, and it's just gonna cause more shit, and at some point, shit, it's time to find some other shit to work on. I just don't give a shit anymore."
Guy #2 "Yeah, no shit."
So, what, were they general surgeons?
ReplyDelete...Brilliance :D Because, why bother thinking up words?
ReplyDeleteThis is what you get for eavesdropping on elevator conversations. Maybe they were astrophysicists lamenting the death of LISA?
ReplyDeletePretty soon we'll have our vocabularies whittled down to 20 words.
ReplyDeleteThey were Plutonians, bemoaning the downgraded status of their home (former) planet.
ReplyDeletewv: saccer, a football game which uses anatomical features rather than spherical projectiles
I remember the first time I stood in line to buy movie tickets in Galway, back in the 70s, and two middle-school age boys were behind us. I hadn't realized that f**k could be a noun, an adjective, a verb, and an adverb, all in the same sentence, before that point.
ReplyDeleteIt's sort of like "da kine" in Hawaiin pidgin. My husband always found it amusing to watch some guys working on something and one would keep saying "Hand me da kine", each time (apparently) meaning a totally different tool. And, each time, the guy he was working with knew which "da kine" he was talking about. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Da_kine. Sadly, I can pretty much understand what the guys in the elevator were talking about too.
At least you can use da kine in polite company.
Sounds like they need to get their shit together.
ReplyDeleteWell, clearly they were gastroenterolgists discussing a recent lower bowel case!
ReplyDeletePattie, RN
Far more articulate than most reality TV stars.
ReplyDeleteI truly sympathize with his shitty feeling.
ReplyDeleteYes, life can sometimes be crappy.
ReplyDeleteThey need to watch some episodes of electric company and school house rock.
ReplyDeleteAfter working in the ED for years, I think I could understand what they were talking about.
ReplyDeleteThey were likely good friends, too. Because a good friend will know what you are saying without words, through all the shit.
They must be the guys I camped next to years ago, grown up.
ReplyDeleteThey were having a fantastic time. An effing fantastic time. Another effing beer man. When Bob effing fell out of the effing canoe in the effing rapids, that was so effing great. Put some more effing wood on the effing fire. Give me another effing beer. Man, this is so effing effing. Oh man, that the effing sun coming up?
Okay, I need to find out which child took off with my International Dictionary of Obscenities so that I can translate this shit.
ReplyDeleteShit, you were sharing an elevator with ZZ Top!
ReplyDeleteIn a previous workplace, they had all sorts of training (i.e. indoctrination under the guise of management courses) with acronyms like SFS for Strive for Excellence, etc. We snarked and called it Super High Intensity Training.
ReplyDeleteI'm just curious what the significance was of mentioning they both had huge beards. I happen to also have a huge beard, and I am infamous because my language has less offensive colorful metaphors. Actually, this is particularly the type of bastardization of the English tongue I find myself fighting when I converse with college students where I teach.
ReplyDeleteGuy#1 needs to get some artisanal...
ReplyDeleteAn overdose of xaL-xE?
ReplyDeleteIt's like talking to someone with nounal aphasia. They know what they mean, and you know what they mean, but the words are wrong.
ReplyDeleteMeaning is context dependant.
Maybe they were on their way to see Dr. Lexus!
ReplyDeleteI resolved to swear less after a friend and I were wondering why a building had spikes on it and a helpful passer-by informed us that it "was shit to keep off the pigeons and shit, because of all the pigeon shit and shit."
I hope you had hand sanitizer with you. At least they didn't say "like" fifty times.
ReplyDeleteThey're the smurfs of cuss words.
ReplyDeleteAw, cut those guys some slack. It's obvious that they get paid a buck everytime that use that lovely little word!
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of the scene from The Wire http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQbsnSVM1zM
ReplyDeletewere the beards "phila-beards" & those men my customers? seems like it!
ReplyDeletewait, what was ZZ Top doing at the hospital? did they at least have sunglasses?
ReplyDelete