Friday, February 18, 2011

Patients say the darndest things

Dr. Grumpy: "Any side effects on the medication?"

Mr. Stiffy: "Well, I uh, I mean, um... you know, I, uh, when I'm about to, um, fall off the cliff, so I start rubbing it faster, but I don't fall off that cliff, no matter how fast and hard I rub. You know what I mean, doc?"
at

25 comments:

  1. terri cFebruary 18, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Trazodone?

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  2. The Shinton ManFebruary 18, 2011 at 2:47 PM

    If he's using his hands, does that make it artisanal?

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  3. OMDGFebruary 18, 2011 at 2:51 PM

    SSRI?

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  4. Grumpy, M.D.February 18, 2011 at 2:52 PM

    One of the above.

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  5. pharmacy chickFebruary 18, 2011 at 2:53 PM

    sounds like he is um. masturbating and ..he uses a rather clever euphamism for ejaculation..

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  6. jimbo26February 18, 2011 at 3:38 PM

    Um , all in the mind ?

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  7. ndenunzFebruary 18, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    Not in the mind. A known side effect of SSRIs for males or females.

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  8. ER's MomFebruary 18, 2011 at 4:37 PM

    TMI. That's all I have to say.

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  9. vickiFebruary 18, 2011 at 5:02 PM

    what doctors have you made angry in your town that they send you all the winners?
    my gosh ... it's amazing how many stupid people live in this world.

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  10. Miss KismetFebruary 18, 2011 at 5:48 PM

    I'm guessing you hear that a lot, since the meds you get to prescribe to treat neuro problems usually have that side effect. I think that would be the LAST thing I would tell a dr though!

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  11. esraFebruary 18, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    Given that euphemism, I can't help but wonder whether his orgasms are really really terrible, or really really great.

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  12. Grumpy, M.D.February 18, 2011 at 5:52 PM

    The complaint is nothing new, and doesn't phaze me.

    It's more his choice of description that took me by surprise.

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  13. UnknownFebruary 18, 2011 at 9:53 PM

    I'm guessing it took a lot of courage to be honest about the side effects of his medication.

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  14. AnonymousFebruary 18, 2011 at 10:09 PM

    I'm female and a medical transcriptionist so I listen to all the craziness you hear all day via the docs at my hospital. I have no shame whatsoever when I go to the doctor. A few years ago, against my better judgement, I started an SSRI. I went back for my 3-month followup and said "I can't achieve an orgasm so we've got to switch the meds." The doctor looked at me like I had just spoken in tongues while levitating. I suppose y'all aren't used to straightforward, aye? I guess I should have beat around the bush more...see that was a pun and it was totally intended.

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  15. MooseFebruary 19, 2011 at 1:44 AM

    I don't think it's TMI at all in this context. I'd like to think that a prescribing physician would want to know about any and *all* things that could be side effects of meds.

    I read somewhere that the most common reason people stop taking meds is because of the side effects. Instead of going to the Dr and saying, "Well I know it's working for my XYZ but it causes this problem" they just stop taking it. If the Dr knows about the side effect he can, at the very least, talk to the patient about the pros and cons of the med and/or try something else.

    ... and I'm just beating the Obvious Horse, aren't I? :-)

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  16. Not HouseFebruary 19, 2011 at 2:13 AM

    Falling off a cliff....does that make intercourse base jumping? Using protection means using a bunjee cord?

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  17. UnknownFebruary 19, 2011 at 3:36 AM

    That description strikes me as quite apt, if comical.

    Don't see why that'd be TMI with your doc. It's TMI (but true) for me to say, right here, that if there's a solution to this side effect, I'd like to know about it.

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  18. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 9:28 AM

    Interesting description, Dr. G. falling off the cliff. Moose is right about the reason why a significant portion of people don't take their medications properly--don't like side-effects and not willing to go for the guinea pig routine. In fact, in consideration of the impact of side-effects, medications allow serious mental illness such as schizophrenia, severe depression, and bipolar disease to be treated as successfully as cardiovascular illnesses, but patients who don't see that they have an illness or anosognosia, wonder why they have to put up with Parkinsonianisms, or priapism, tardive dyskinesias, etc.

    As a recovering spelloholiic I got a kick out of 'phaze'... faze vs. phase, and when there's some doubt...phaze.

    Gotta love the English language.

    Seriously, as part of my recovery, I'm leading an underground movement for Esperanto as national second language. Bet I could get a lot of 4th graders on the bandwagon?

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  19. Kat's KatsFebruary 19, 2011 at 11:11 AM

    ::giggle:: At least he reported the side effects!! But OMG!! I have got to go now and read this to my husband!!

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  20. Nigel TufnelFebruary 19, 2011 at 11:21 AM

    What we do is, if we need that extra push over the cliff, you know what we do?

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  21. JulesFebruary 19, 2011 at 9:54 PM

    Moose, Dr. G. isn't suggesting that he has a problem discussing these personal issues with his patients. Sounds like he's weirded out by the dude's creepy metaphor. The patient is an adult and he can't use the proper words to describe masturbation and orgasm?

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  22. ERPFebruary 20, 2011 at 11:51 AM

    And in your mind you are just thinking "Oh man, this is going to be a good blogpost."

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  23. DorisFebruary 22, 2011 at 8:53 AM

    You need to hand craft a new section for all these Artisinal posts, like you did with the history lessons.

    Just a thought...a carefully crafted artisinal thought...

    >:p

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  24. CandiceFebruary 22, 2011 at 11:11 PM

    I lol'd at "Mr. Stiffy" :) Thanks, for that!

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  25. AnonymousFebruary 23, 2011 at 4:57 AM

    Rubber Barren (Baron)?

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So wadda you think?