Saturday, February 19, 2011

More crap

All right, ever since I became side-tracked on what I consider to be the major threat currently facing humanity - the sickening overuse of the word "artisan" and its derivatives - everyone else has been noticing it too. Recently it's even been prominently featured in a nationwide TV ad to describe mass-produced ravioli, of all freakin' things.

Anyway, since it's too late for me to go back and pretend I never started this, here are some of the more irritating examples of the problem that have been sent in:


From Shannon, who says this was at Starbucks (assumedly not made by kosher artisans). This one gets bonus irritation points for also having the word "handcrafted" in it:






Kathy saw this at the grocery store:






And Jaime, also from the grocer's:


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20 comments:

  1. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 8:39 AM

    I think that I want a ham artisan sandwich. You know, take an artisan, make ham out of them, and then eat them...

    ReplyDelete
  2. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 8:47 AM

    Further to getting the briefing about Artisan being a trend this year, my UK department store now stocks "Artisan food blenders"....

    ReplyDelete
  3. perishedcoreFebruary 19, 2011 at 10:44 AM

    The bigbadblog, Serious Eats, is right there with you. In its top 10 restaurant picks, number 3 is:

    3. Less "artisan" this and "artisan" that.

    There was a time when the word artisan actually meant something—it was produced by an artist. These days, anything handmade or rustic in appearance gets the artisan stamp. Let your food's flavor speak for itself. If it's truly made by an "artist," your customers should be able to taste it.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Andrew_M_GarlandFebruary 19, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    I suggest more candor in advertising. If a worker changes the settings by hand on food production machinery, then the ad claim should be limited to "artisinally adjusted".

    I toured Howes Cavern in New York. The tour gathered just inside the entrance. I saw a stack of wrapped boxes about 6 x 8 x 4 feet. The guide explained that the Cavern rented out this small space to a cheese company, and this was a stack of their cheese. The cheese would later be sold as "cave aged".

    ReplyDelete
  5. quixoteFebruary 19, 2011 at 2:09 PM

    @Anonymous and the "ham artisan sandwich."

    Hahahahahaha.

    /*gets hold of self. ... simmers down*/

    You do realize, though, don't you, that you'd only be able to use the actual ham, not the whole artisan? The FDA has rules about mislabelling.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Cthulhu SashimiFebruary 19, 2011 at 2:42 PM

    It's kind of like the first act of one of those horror movies where everyone in the world suddenly starts saying the same nonsense word over and over as a prelude to becoming possessed and killing each other. But I'm artisan sure that's not artisan what's artisan happening here artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan artisan

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 4:04 PM

    Cthulhu Sashimi, hold still while I crack open your skull and take some brains for my zombie artisandwich.

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 4:48 PM

    Personally, I think you should subtitle your blog as artisan. Cuz, you know, you can.

    wv: hadiard, as in "Would you like to sample our artisan hadiard?"

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousFebruary 19, 2011 at 9:34 PM

    http://www.grandmalucys.com/retail/product.php?productid=34

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dave TrowbridgeFebruary 19, 2011 at 10:40 PM

    Did you notice that "ham artisan sandwich" is itself a kind of linguistic sandwich, with "artisan" playing the role of the, well not meat, maybe spam, between the slices?

    ReplyDelete
  11. RichFebruary 19, 2011 at 10:45 PM

    Thanks for curating this list!

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2011 at 12:28 AM

    At the Safeway gas station last night, I saw a photocopied ad taped to each pump for Artisan Cake Slices - $1.00. There is nothing about a gas station cake that makes me want one.

    ReplyDelete
  13. pharmacy chickFebruary 20, 2011 at 12:50 AM

    I am no more to be called a pharmacist...I desire to be called a pharmaceutical artisan! LOL

    ReplyDelete
  14. terri cFebruary 20, 2011 at 2:33 AM

    I went to see my neurologist. Being a dog person, she requires that I bring a dog with me to appointments. While discussing my health or lack thereof, she feeds the dog cheese from the office fridge. This time, she said, it was artisanal cheese--an imported Appenzeller. Even the neurologists are being subverted by the Artisan Agenda.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2011 at 7:01 AM

    I thought of this blog post when I was reading the label of some yarn I recently bought. There is a description of how it is handmade. Toward the end of the paragraph it says, "...creating a new generaton of skilled artisans..."

    This seems appropriate. However, it contains another buzz word I, personally, am sick of...sustainable. Don't get me started....

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2011 at 1:12 PM

    So, on a wild and crazy Saturday evening, I was out grocery shopping and noticed a display for...
    wait for it....
    Artisan Tositos!!

    Seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousFebruary 20, 2011 at 8:32 PM

    Olive Garden has gotten in on the act with "artisanal ravioli" in two varieties - http://www.olivegarden.com/specials/

    ReplyDelete
  18. Cartoon CharactersFebruary 23, 2011 at 7:31 AM

    Here is a "Wealth Artisan"....actually has a blog by the same name...
    http://wealthartisan.com/2011/02/18/5-terrible-financial-decisions-to-avoid/

    ReplyDelete
  19. AnonymousFebruary 24, 2011 at 12:29 PM

    I thought it might amuse folks to know that Dako, a company that makes machines to stain pathology slides...has Artisan (trademarked by them) stain kits. I love histology techs, but really?

    ReplyDelete
  20. PurpleRNMarch 1, 2011 at 2:26 AM

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/219898/portlandia-artisanal-light-bulbs

    Saw this and thought of you :)

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?