Monday, January 10, 2011

Attention guys!

Penis enlarging methods are SCAMS. Regardless of what the email from Zlygovistan says, whatever they're trying to sell you WILL NOT INCREASE ANYTHING but your credit card bill.

If someone were to attach some sort of s-t-r-e-t-c-h-i-n-g device to my winkie, I think it would get pretty uncomfortable after a minute or so. Maybe some guys are into putting their private parts on the rack, but I'm not one of them.

But a truly determined guy in Quebec decided to give it, not 1 or 2 measly minutes of use, BUT 500 FREAKIN' HOURS OF PENILE TENSILE TESTING!!!

At the end of this tumescent marathon, with no visible improvement, he decided to sue the manufacturer.

His case, I swear, is being heard in small-claims court.

Here's the original news story.

Thank you, Webhill!
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22 comments:

  1. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2011 at 2:39 PM

    "Does this mean the X-ray glasses I ordered don't work, either? I was going to use them to compare it to other guys."

    ReplyDelete
  2. Crazy NewtJanuary 10, 2011 at 3:21 PM

    Well, of COURSE it's not going to do anything to help grow his penis.

    He's from Quebec.

    Those people are a lost cause.

    Wakka wakka wakka...

    ReplyDelete
  3. DorisJanuary 10, 2011 at 3:23 PM

    I want to make a rude remark about "small claims" but...I...WILL RESIST!

    *breaks sweat*

    Word verification: beepic

    WV did it for me, I see....

    >:p

    ReplyDelete
  4. DonnaJanuary 10, 2011 at 3:32 PM

    Hmm...500 hours? I think there must have been some redeeming pleasurable sensation occurring to return again and again for 500 hours of experimentation. Perhaps the inventor is marketing to the wrong crowd. BDSM anyone?

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2011 at 3:46 PM

    I hope he doesn't get a hung jury.

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2011 at 4:29 PM

    God , I bet it was sore at the end ( pun both ways ) .

    ReplyDelete
  7. ChrisJanuary 10, 2011 at 4:46 PM

    Small claims? Hung jury? BWAHAHAHAHA!

    Sounds like the guy has a half-cocked argument if you ask me.

    ReplyDelete
  8. PackerJanuary 10, 2011 at 5:12 PM

    Just wait until it comes time to produce the evidence. Cross examination.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Community RNJanuary 10, 2011 at 5:28 PM

    OMG!!!!!!!!!! ahahahaahah that is too funny it's in the Chronically Horrid! that explains it right there!!

    C.

    ReplyDelete
  10. DonJanuary 10, 2011 at 6:52 PM

    What's funny to me is how many of these ads, and similar ones for breast enlargement, are to be found on so-called "legitimate" news, weather and political sites.
    There must be a heckuva demand for this type of garbage, otherwise these ads would remain in the background on sleazy, low end sites.

    ReplyDelete
  11. DebJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    Wow. 500 hours. That takes dedication. He must have really believed in the product or really needed it to work....

    ReplyDelete
  12. AnonymousJanuary 10, 2011 at 10:44 PM

    I can't dispense Muse without the hairs on the back of my neck tensing a bit...and I don't even have a penis. All I have to say is that the male sex drive MUST be something else!

    ReplyDelete
  13. pharmacy chickJanuary 11, 2011 at 12:40 AM

    this may be a bit of a STRETCH, but could he have some PULL with the judge to pursuade him to deliver a LENGTHLY sentence?

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 2:55 AM

    wow...

    ReplyDelete
  15. mikeJanuary 11, 2011 at 9:21 AM

    It won't stand up in court...

    Sorry

    I'll get me coat

    ReplyDelete
  16. lovinmyjobJanuary 11, 2011 at 12:01 PM

    Uhhh? Was this some kind of clinical trial? To know that it was 500 hours I think he would need to keep a LOG.

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousJanuary 11, 2011 at 3:53 PM

    The manufacturer deserves to do some hard time. The plaintiff, too, for that matter.

    ReplyDelete
  18. MarcoJanuary 11, 2011 at 4:57 PM

    Way back, when PeeWee Herman was coming out of his trial for exposing himself, a bunch of supporters with signs were outside waiting for him. One sign said, 'We're pulling for you, Pee Wee!'

    ReplyDelete
  19. JGJanuary 12, 2011 at 2:48 AM

    On my unit we've developed an astonishing tool to help men gain inches to their... well, tool. We call it Lasix.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Grumpy, M.D.January 12, 2011 at 7:22 AM

    MUSE! Funny you should mention Muse, and it's even more horrifying cousin.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Sarah GlennJanuary 12, 2011 at 8:46 AM

    Quebec? Any chance it's just the cold keeping it short?

    ReplyDelete
  22. The MotherJanuary 13, 2011 at 9:15 PM

    Penn and Teller did a spot on a guy who was regrowing his foreskin by tying a weight around his glans and pulling the penile skin down over it.

    It looked as yucky and stupid as it sounds.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?