Dr. Grumpy: "When did the leg begin hurting?"
Mr. Sprint: "I'd just climbed down the ladder when..." (cell phone rings) "Sorry, Doc, hang on."
(answers phone) "Yeah? Oh, hi Pete. Uh-huh. I have no idea. I mean, I've got $4,000 in that account and need to transfer it. Yeah. Hold on, Pete, let me get some advice. Hey, Doc, for retirement what are you recommending right now? Roth IRA's? And what mutual funds are you telling people to invest in right now?"
Ha. That's gold.
ReplyDeleteLong shot that tightens up..>pan to rear shot of a rumpled lab coat moving briskly out of the exam room<
ReplyDeleteMale Voice: "I'll be back to see you in 20 minutes after my next patient. Wrap up your calls by then, please."
Pattie, RN
Oh, I told him he had to end the call or reschedule. He got off the phone.
ReplyDeleteSrsly. The allergist I worked for banned cell phone useage after a patient took a call while the dr. was with him, and while pts. took calls while they were getting their allergy shots.
ReplyDeleteMy very first physical in med school, that one that intimidates the hell out of you anyway because you don't know what you're doing?
ReplyDeleteWas on a guy in the "hotel" wing of the hospital, high falutin' investment banker. His beeper kept going off to tell him that gold was closing or that Tokyo was opening.
Terrifying. He seemed to think it was funny. Lucky me.
HBUECP
ReplyDeleteHead bang until eyes cross permanently.
WV waxiag "waxiag on, waxiag off"
"Well, since I didn't take the Series 7 or 66, I have to rely on my crystal ball which, unfortunately, is in the shop right now."
ReplyDeleteToo good, I see either a reality tv show or a spin off comedy show in the making. Freaking cell phones--I go to church they tell people to please shut them off, well some of them sit there and text. Kids text at dinner table. One day I walk in drop a 20 bill in front of each one. I say pick it up after dinner provided you neither receive or make a call or text. I picked up my 40 bucks and did it the next 3 nights in a row, finally they shut the thing off and walked with the money--they got the point. Walking the dog this AM, mom in Suburban Assault Vehicle almost runs me over, yup cell phone stuck in ear. Give it a rest folks-- You are only zapping your brain anyway. Keep it up you'll need a neurologist.
ReplyDeleteI would have told him that I was putting my money into case lots of Diet Coke and dogfood. Idiot.
ReplyDeleteAnd then there was the time his proctologist called him in the middle of a date...
ReplyDeleteColtan futures.
ReplyDeleteI dream of having a fish bowl on the pharmacy counter, just water and plants and one of those little pirate ships, no fish. Then I add a old cell phone to the bowl and make a sign that reads: This is the only place cell phones are allowed near this counter.
ReplyDeleteAaaahhhh.
WV: psychlov
OH, I CRINGED reading this one. I HATE it when people are so obnoxious with their cell phone in public. I always turn mine off when I go to an appointment.
ReplyDeleteHow awkward. Of course you have heard and seen it all already.
You must get all of the patients (nut cases) that the other Doctors can't find anything wrong with, so they send them to the neurologist. LOL
that is rich, I hope you charged him double.
ReplyDeleteglad you left. we have signs all over the clinic about turning off cell phones, but they seldom are.
ReplyDeleteI have been on both sides of the phone: the doctor that needs to see the patient in a timely manor and the patient that has to have the phone open for important calls (ie patient care) so I get that sometimes you have to have the cell phone there. Of course, I always turn mine off or have it on vibrate for the duration of the procedure. I do not want someone focused on external things...just the problem.
ReplyDeleteTell him to invest in Mongolian yak futures.
ReplyDeleteWell, I confess to taking a call during a doctor's appointment once. I was at the OB checking on a high risk pregnancy, and the call was from my husband. I figured that since he could not be there but he WAS kind of involved, that call was OK, and I only felt marginally guilty. Other than that, I can't think of a scenario where I would take a calls at an appointment.
ReplyDeleteto anonymous 9:05, why are you even letting kids text at your table in the first place? If you're still cooking for them, you #1 control the food. No manners, no food! #2 you bought their phones. Take them away if you have to! Who is in charge? Why are you paying them anything??
paula
Hm. "Bring it to the office, in cash. Leave it with Mary at the front desk. We can use it for your co-pay and deductable."
ReplyDeleteWould buy lots of Diet Coke
Seriously? Oh my goodness. You do deal with the most in-ter-est-ing patients..................
ReplyDeleteHow many of your patients take their disease's seriously??
ReplyDeleteProbably the ones that are dying and the ones that want Percocets.