Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Freak out!

Dr. Grumpy: "Your labs look okay, lipid levels are good, and..."

Mrs. Statin: "OH MY GOD! I HAVE LIPIDS IN MY BLOOD?!!!"

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, everyone does, and your levels are fine."

Mrs. Statin: "THAT'S HORRIBLE! I DON'T WANT ANY LIPIDS AT ALL!"

Dr. Grumpy: "But you need to understand that some levels are normal and..."

Mrs. Statin: "SO NOW YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT IT'S 'NORMAL' FOR ME TO HAVE A STROKE OR HEART ATTACK? WHAT THE HELL?"

Dr. Grumpy: "That's not what I said, ma'am, lipids are..."

Mrs. Statin: "THIS IS INSANE! I KNOW WHAT LIPIDS DO! I'M AN INTELLIGENT PERSON! I WATCH TELEVISION! I DEMAND YOU GET RID OF MY LIPIDS IMMEDIATELY! THERE ARE MEDICATIONS, AREN'T THERE?"

Dr. Grumpy: "There are drugs that are used to lower lipids when needed, but your levels are already low and..."

Mrs. Statin: "YOU'RE DANGEROUS! I'M LEAVING! I'M GOING TO FIND A DOCTOR WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF ME!!!"


And she walked out.
at

38 comments:

  1. JulieOctober 20, 2010 at 7:56 AM

    um, well if it was me, i wouldn't mind her finding a different dr ....

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nuclear FireOctober 20, 2010 at 8:01 AM

    Sounds like someone needs to make a combination Paxil-Zocor pill.

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  3. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 8:10 AM

    What in the sam hill did that woman read about lipids, and in what magazine?

    ... That's right. I broke out the "sam hill" for this one.

    ReplyDelete
  4. TassiegalOctober 20, 2010 at 8:18 AM

    Thanks for providing my merriment for this evening!

    ReplyDelete
  5. The MotherOctober 20, 2010 at 8:24 AM

    Try having a MIL whose HDLs are high thanks to years of near-anorexic dieting and four hours a day of tennis. Try explaining to said MIL that she does NOT need to watch the cholesterol in her diet. Go ahead. Give it a shot.

    Maybe you'll get somewhere. Because I haven't.

    ReplyDelete
  6. RachaelOctober 20, 2010 at 9:36 AM

    so you refer her to whichever colleague has been annoying you the most lately :)

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  7. GlassHospitalOctober 20, 2010 at 9:58 AM

    So true. So funny. So sad.

    We have done a good job of communicating what's important to patients, haven't we?

    This lipid thing has been a peeve of mine for a while. It inspired this post, if'n you'll forgive the linkage:

    http://glasshospital.com/2010/05/16/cholesterol-validation-of-the-self/

    -Dr. John

    (still in Beijing and somehow able to get on Dr. Grumpy through a mysterious wormhole provided by a great American-style hotel)

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 10:05 AM

    OH NOOEEES! What will she do when she finds out that she has *gasp* SUGAR in her bloodstream as well???

    I suggest a combination of diet and medications that will get her LDL and glucose levels both below 10 for a couple weeks. Then, she won't be complaining to anyone about anything!

    Pattie, RN

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  9. bobbieOctober 20, 2010 at 10:29 AM

    Good riddance...

    And I second Rachel's advice ~

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  10. JoleenOctober 20, 2010 at 11:27 AM

    Wow. Some people should be banned from watching TV or using the internet as they clearly don't know how to process information.

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  11. ndenunzOctober 20, 2010 at 12:16 PM

    As soon as she finds out there is iron in her blood she'll be wanting some chelation therapy.

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  12. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 12:31 PM

    That is what some in the UK refer to as "bat sh*t crazy", just so you know the cultural diagnosis for next time/ your referral letter.

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  13. PackerOctober 20, 2010 at 12:37 PM

    Wait, are you saying having lipids are normal, I don't know, I think I will check some other humor blog to make sure.

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  14. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 12:53 PM

    Self-diagnosis via internet. Sometimes having a little knowledge is like knowing a little karate...you know just enough to get your butt kicked.

    PharmacyJim

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  15. Dr. JOctober 20, 2010 at 1:08 PM

    Dr. Grumpy, some days I think all the other doctors in your town are only sending you their 'special cases'!

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  16. Sparky BarksdaleOctober 20, 2010 at 1:22 PM

    If my doctor was Groucho Marx I would think he was dangerous too.

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  17. staceyOctober 20, 2010 at 1:31 PM

    She's just a big fat lipidhead!

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  18. GunDivaOctober 20, 2010 at 1:44 PM

    SBG23 - wouldn't that be "megalipocranium"? :)

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  19. Kat's KatsOctober 20, 2010 at 2:12 PM

    Oh, this is SO a third column over, second row down diagnosis!

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  20. ClaireOctober 20, 2010 at 2:29 PM

    Cholesterol levels or 'happy damn lipids' and 'lousy damn lipids' as I've heard them described.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 3:04 PM

    Hope you referred her to your least favorite ENT surgeon, as her listening skills are obviously impaired.

    murgatr

    Pharm. Tech. RDC'06

    ReplyDelete
  22. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 3:26 PM

    I am tempted to start marketing a Risperdal air freshener. Would you be interested in being a study site?

    ReplyDelete
  23. MugdhaOctober 20, 2010 at 4:18 PM

    Partially educated people are probably even worse than totally ignorant people.

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 4:29 PM

    Anytime someone says "I am an intelligent person," they are not; it's just like saying "I have a really high pain tolerance." - No you don't.
    -whitecap nurse

    ReplyDelete
  25. The Evil ReceptionistOctober 20, 2010 at 5:37 PM

    I think her concern over her lipid "problems" should be the least of her worries. Was this her initial consult visit?

    WV--foohl: aka most of Dr G's patients.

    ReplyDelete
  26. The ObserverOctober 20, 2010 at 5:44 PM

    She spoke in CAPITAL LETTERS?

    I hate people whose voice and demeanor are stuck on CAP LOCK.

    Good riddance.

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 6:09 PM

    "I'm an intelligent person! I watch television!"
    Ummm, just about contradicted herself right there.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Kat's KatsOctober 20, 2010 at 6:13 PM

    Risperdal air freshener? There are days I could use one of those in my kids' bathroom! heh.

    whitecap nurse? Please don't forget the rule of exceptions. I've left offices and/or given bad reviews because of attitudes like that. Not to say that I don't understand where it comes from given that I've spent time in enough waiting rooms educating others, but still...

    -an intelligent woman who hasn't had a pain-free day since 10/87 no matter the med mix (I'm keeping my fingers crossed, medicine improves minute by minute)

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 6:13 PM

    Heh heh, reminds me of the time my MIL arrived home from a visit to the doctor and announced proudly "I have NO blood pressure!"

    ReplyDelete
  30. clairesmumOctober 20, 2010 at 8:06 PM

    Risperdal air freshener sounds like a good idea - would love to volunteer my work site as a trial site, too!

    ReplyDelete
  31. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 9:37 PM

    Oh, no you don't, Anonymous, the Haldo spray was my idea first! Risperdal is available every which way but up, and Haldol is mine!

    Seriously, when we were monitoring caloric, additive content of TPNs for our cachectic anorexic patients in the late 80's we had to refer to the bottle of Intralipid as 'lipids' (not fats as we referred to them often affectionately), because the poor dear starved patients would yank their central lines.

    ReplyDelete
  32. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 10:18 PM

    borderline much?

    ReplyDelete
  33. AnonymousOctober 20, 2010 at 10:44 PM

    @Anon 8:37 pm
    Yeah, breakin' out the Vitamin H!
    JO RPh

    ReplyDelete
  34. terri cOctober 20, 2010 at 11:35 PM

    I think the silver lining is bigger than the cloud here (for you, Mary, and Annie). I doubt she'll let you refer her, so just warn ERP she'll be showing up soon...

    ReplyDelete
  35. AnonymousOctober 21, 2010 at 1:38 AM

    I hope she finds a way to rid her self of all those lipid bilayers present in her body.

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  36. vickiOctober 21, 2010 at 4:15 AM

    dr grumpy
    what have you done to all the doctors in your town where they refer you all the idiots?
    i think i would send some of these patients back with a diagnosis of "terminal stupidity"
    thought you should have named her mrs. satan instead ... she is giving some of us good patients a bad name

    ReplyDelete
  37. AnonymousOctober 21, 2010 at 6:24 AM

    ANON 513....LOL!


    Of course, when a patient asks me if they "have a temperature" my smart-ass response is always "yes, EVERYONE has a temperature" !

    Fever? Now THAT is a problem!


    Pattie, RN

    ReplyDelete
  38. AnonymousOctober 22, 2010 at 4:38 PM

    I am still rolling on the ground about the air freshener! Can you make mine with Ativan? With some lovely notes of jasmine?

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?