Mrs. Grumpy wanted to stop at Starbucks last night after dinner.
Guy in line: "I can't decide, they all sound good".
Counter girl: "We have the new Caramal Brulee' Latte' you might like. It's really good. Have you ever had creme brulee'?
Guy in line: "No".
Counter girl: "Well, creme brulee' tastes just like the Caramel Brulee' Latte does, um, if you, uh, knew what it tastes like, I mean."
Then I got up there.
Dr. Grumpy: "I'd like a polar bear cookie."
Counter girl: "They're good. We used to have them for other holidays, too, I mean, at least ones where polar bears are part of the theme."
Okay... How many other holidays with polar bears in the theme are there?
Et tu, Starbucks.
ReplyDeleteIt's only the Sunday after Thanksgiving, and I swear if I hear another Christmas carol I'm going to have to murder a PA system.
As someone said on the science blogs last week, let the war on Christmas begin.
What, you never heard of National Polar Bear Day? That day when crazy people strip to nothing and plunge into freezing water?
ReplyDeleteWord verication: berid. Something to do with bears?
Valentine's day? Where all of the really grumpy but lovable bears want to wish you beary happy Valentines day? Maybe Happy St Patricks day where all the green polar bears (where the green algae attaches to their hair follicles and makes them green) go to their neighbor hood pub and kiss an Irish button wearing celebrant? I think its President's day where the polar bears want to celebrate their favorite president who bought Alaska from the Russians and helped run pipe lines through their habitat and cut through the boredom of chasing seals and clubbing green peace workers. Maybe its May day where they come and dance around May poles celebrating the birth of baby seals and how tasty they are?
ReplyDeleteLove ya' Dr Grumpy! Happy Polar bear day!
Actually, being married to a man whose relatives started the polar bear club; it actually started from people still being drunk and drinking on New Years Day from New Year's Eve and feeling like it would be a good way to sober up by jumping in the river. And as often happens (booze protecting drunks) it became somewhat of a dare and other people not as inebriated grabbed onto it and the drunks went on to invent other equally scary dares and somehow always surviving.
ReplyDeleteHere comes Peter Polar Bear,
ReplyDeleteHopping down the Polar Bear trail,
Hippity-hoppity, Easter's on its way!
God bless the polar bears,
Bears that I love,
Stand beside them,
And guide them...
That's all I've got...
Next in line: "One of those polar bear cookies sounds good. What do they taste like?"
ReplyDeleteNew Year's Eve and New Year's Day, I guess...maybe...
ReplyDeleteTell me she was hot >.<
ReplyDelete-Flavius
Polar bear cookies taste like New Year's Eve and New Year's Day???
ReplyDeleteMemorial day: think of all the polar bears sacrificed to Global Warming
ReplyDeleteEaster: those really big eggs must come from something with more biomass than rabbits
Arbor day: what is Arbor Day without a polar bear roaming the forest and being shot by hunters?
Canada day: Canada is full of polar bears. And maple syrup. Two delicious symbols of America's Hat.
Father's day: celebrating the polar bear sperm donors necessary for keeping the species alive.
Cinco de Polar Bear: self-explanatory. Drinking is mandatory.
Last year I believe it was Election Day...
ReplyDeleteSurely you saw the signs that read, "Polar Bears for Obama!"
Way too much of a good time goin' down here.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite little-known polar bear factoid (that I hazily recall from Goodman & Gilman's Pharmacological Basis of Therapeutics): early starving Arctic explorers died after consuming polar bear liver from hypervitaminosis A. Hmm, where is that old textbook?
Dear Dr. Grumpy,
ReplyDeleteWadda I think? I think I want to be grumpy back.
Let's put this another way: this person behind the cash register has seen more than a hundred people, and she's still trying to interact with customers. She's run out of things to say.
Her feet hurt. People can't make up their mind. She's describing products to them because they don't know what 'vanilla' is. She's been mind-numbed long before you got there and she's making minimum wage. They pay her to be perky. Otherwise, she wouldn't be.
So I hope you said, yes, thank you, the polar bear cookie. I hope you tipped the jar. You aren't the only one one earth who has stupid people calling in and showing up.
Sincerely yours,
Ann T.
Ann T.- Yes I did. I honestly respect all people who work for a living. It is never easy, no matter what you do.
ReplyDeleteToo many people today seem to think the world owes them a living. So yes, I thanked and tipped her.
anyone who drinks starbuck's coffee deserves all the in store grief they get.
ReplyDeleteDear Dr. Grumpy,
ReplyDeleteI feel so much less grumpy now. Thank you for answering my question and giving it respect.
Thanks especially for honoring the honest work of the underemployed.
Sincerely yours,
Ann T.
Are they made from real Polar Bears?
ReplyDelete