Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Attention Female Office Staff

Look, we've shared the same bathroom for 10 years. I've been scrupulously careful to observe the male-female bathroom etiquette. I mean, you guys know where I work and live, and would kill me if I didn't.

And I have no problem with you bringing in your 6 year old son today because he has a cold, and daycare wouldn't take him. That happens to all of us.

HOWEVER

When a new male is introduced to the office (i.e. Mr. Sniffles) and suddenly someone is leaving the seat up, missing his mark, and peeing all over the toilet rim, DO NOT COME BLAME IT ON GOOD OLD DR. GRUMPY. His aim and attention to detail have been proven over 10 years of sterling toilet-rule devotion to his office staff. So you will need to look for other suspects with Y chromosomes.

Thank you.

8 comments:

  1. Dr. Pissy sounds like a much more likely suspect.

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  2. i aim to please. would u also aim, please

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  3. no. you have a Y chromosome, so you're guilty.

    of that and more.

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  4. You want them to blame an innocent 6 year old child? Shame on you :P

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  5. No robot stickers for Mr. Sniffles

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  6. guess you need to put one of those target markers in the toilet for the little ones. ;-) either that, or tell the mom that missing the toilet like that is a sure sign of epispadias, which only the kid could have since you don't miss.

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  7. It seems your lady staff a very intimately familiar of the logical fallacy of, "Post Hoc Ergo Propter Hoc."

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  8. Sometimes I long for the old days when people smoked. "Sink the submarine, anyone"?
    Seriously, the whole "toilet seat down" thing is a sexist conspiracy to confuse the issues. If women don't want an occasional dribble on the seat they should be proactive and put it up.

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So wadda you think?