At the hospital this morning I saw a guy who was admitted for a seizure. He'd bitten his tongue and wet himself.
The admitting internist wrote this note:
"The patient states he was incontinent. To personally verify this, I checked his underwear. It was wet, and smelled of urine."
I have to tell you guys. In 11 years of doing this, I have never been that thorough. If someone tells me they wet or pooped themselves, I take their word for it.
That's interesting. Maybe he thought the patient was sooo embarrassed about spilling some water on his pants, that he decided his cover story would be pissing himself.
ReplyDeleteGoing beyond the call of duty, that doc!
ReplyDeleteCan you say "OCD"?
ReplyDeleteHugeMD- how about I C U P!
ReplyDeleteConfess...you got that last comment from Marie, didn't you? And, where's the "Mother May I"?
ReplyDelete>:p
Doris- we did that joke when I was kid. And yes, my kids do it now.
ReplyDeleteIt just seemed appropriate, since HugeMD had used alphabet soup.
Hey Doc. I LOVE your blog! Stumbled onto it by accident last night at about 2am and stayed up for HOURS reading it, literally laughing out loud. Great blog! It's been added to my bookmarked tab ha ha.
ReplyDeleteBad bathroom jokes are eternal...I think it's on the DNA somewhere between putting your camp mate's hand in warm water to make them pee and noogies.
ReplyDelete>:)
Hey, you never know, it might have been another one of those horrid Detrol junkies, coming in to the hospital to get his fix on his favorite medication for overactive bladder. Jokes on him, though. I bet the hospital only has Ditropan on their formulary!
ReplyDeleteFreud started an entire system of psychotherapy based on shitty diapers.
ReplyDeleteUh, when I worked epilepsy, there were some crayzee pseudoseizeurs who would deliberately pee themselves and others who were malingerers that would say they did but didn't (because they knew that's what we wanted to hear, usually the MR-types). Seriously, dood.
ReplyDeleteWe were taught SOAP by very strict definitions; if it wasn't 'O' it got 'S', maybe ... though the admitting could've gone a bit further (or farther?) perhaps; pH, etc? (There's a blacklight urine detector on the internet for $13.95 + S/H, albeit marketed for detecting hidden pet stains, sheez, a bare foot works pretty well for fresh samples.)
ReplyDeleteThat is way beyond the call of duty. Sounds like something the residents at the hospital I work at, would write.
ReplyDeleteIn a case like that . . just take their word for it!!!
Seriously...wasn't he embarrassed to write about being so "thorough"? Are all his other notes so entertaining?
ReplyDeletePissed yourself, you say? Well, we'll just SEE about that.
ReplyDeleteha. maybe the guy had a history of pseudoseizure and faking it etc, and so they just had to be sure this was real or something. of course, he could have deliberately peed in his pants, too.
ReplyDelete