So I got called to come in to the hospital this Saturday morning. 21 year old woman who woke up this morning, completely paralyzed from the waist down. While driving in I turned over the possibilities: spinal card tumor, multiple sclerosis, big herniated disk, etc.
So I saw the patient, and as advertised she couldn't move either leg. There were some things about her story that didn't add up, but certainly she needed further work-up.
While I was out at the nurses station dictating a note she walked out of her room to ask where the smoking patio was.
As soon as she saw I was still there she ran back in and laid down on the bed.
I guess 'waste down' was a clue since it appears that she was just wasting your time. ;-)
ReplyDeleteHere's a situation where a patient's smoking habit SAVED the healthcare system thousands of dollars!
ReplyDeleteYou cured her Dr. Grumpy!
ReplyDeleteI think it was a bonafide miracle
ReplyDeleteGlory be, it's a miracle!!
ReplyDeleteWhen my kids act "paralyzed" and refuse to move to get in their car seats or walk out of the grocery store sans candy, I tickle them to get them going. I guess this would not be appropriate physician-patient interaction though, would it? Your next option could have been offering her a spinal tap.
ReplyDeleteHa, I had to laugh at HugeMDs comment. She didn't need the services of a neurologist, she needed a psychologist. What the heck?
ReplyDeleteAs Anonymous pointed out, I originally misspelled "waist" as "waste".
ReplyDeleteAs a former high school newspaper editor, I just HAD to correct it. The idea of having the wrong homophone there was too much four me to bare.
You must have meant "their", or even "they're" in your above post.
ReplyDeleteSomeone has a disability application pending...
ReplyDeleteI had a patient in residency who had "spells of weakness" and would suddenly "lose her strength & balance" and fall down. She started to fall in my direction and I stepped out of the way. She was a big lady and I wasn't going to risk my back by trying to catch her (I had already known a med student pal who needed back surgery from something similar). Instead of hitting the floor, her body suddenly changed trajectory and gently landed on the bed. No coordination, huh? I do a lot of things for my patients but catching them is something I will not do.
ReplyDeletehaha some Paralyzation...
ReplyDeletebut really the reason i'm responding here is cuz of the hilarity of the verification word which is "clinolve" It sounds like some mysterious medication meant to cure all lolol!!!
You are seriously a freakin' crazy magnet! I'm dying to ask our neuro doc if he experiences anything like this, but somehow I think he'd just stare at me. That's all he does -- stare & write.
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guess she didn't realize the nurses would have charted the fact she "walked" to the desk and asked for directions to the smoking area whether you were present or not......brain cells not firing on all cylinders are they?
ReplyDeletehere is a photo of Dr Grumpy with the patient:
ReplyDeletehttp://ihm.nlm.nih.gov/luna/servlet/detail/NLMNLM~1~1~101411921~171491:-Dr--Charcot-?qvq=q:B04519;lc:NLMNLM~1~1&mi=0&trs=1
That was funny!
ReplyDeleteJesus, is that moon-lighting as Dr. Grumpy?
ReplyDeleteToo bad someone didn't show her the lumbar puncture needle. That would have gotten her worthless ass moving long before you wasted your time driving down there.
Did she have a positive Hoover sign?
ReplyDeleteERP- Yes. That was one thing (out of several) that made me suspicious.
ReplyDeleteBut, as you know, we gotta work them up. Cause the one time ya don't...
The last person I had with Hoover sign I called them on it - and guess what? He looked and me aghast like how could he be lying - but as soon as I turned around and went back the nursing station, the guy got up and walked out of the ER.
ReplyDeleteWhat's a Hoover sign?
ReplyDelete