After returning from my exciting hour at the hospital, I decided to indulge in that perennial hobby of modern America- namely, trying to lose a few pounds.
So I got out the Wii Fit, chased the kids away from the TV (if I don't, they watch me exercise, like some sort of studio audience from hell, and make sarcastic comments).
I did some strength training exercises, as demonstrated by the Wii Fit trainer. For those of you don't have a Will Fit, this is a buff-looking computer animated trainer, male or female, that demonstrates exercises and tries to give you encouragement.
At one point, while balancing on one leg, I fell off and twisted my ankle. I'm lying there on the floor, in pain, holding it and trying to figure out if I broke something.
And while I'm lying there clenching my teeth, the Wii Fit trainer suddenly notices my weight is no longer on the balance board, and starts talking smack! "Hello? Are you still there? Where did you go? Your muscles aren't going to train themselves, you know!"
Without even thinking, and clouded with pain, I yelled "Shut the F--K up you digital a**hole!!!"
I looked up to see all 3 kids staring at me in shock. And Mrs. Grumpy looking REALLY pissed. All 3 dogs immediately ran away down the hall, realizing that this was NOT a good time for them to take my side.
I am in DEEP trouble.
Stupid Wii Trainer. This is all his fault.
I'm sorry for the late reply - I've just been sitting here reading through your blog and spraying Coke out through my nose (from laughing, I mean. It's, um, not something I just do for fun. You owe me a new keyboard, by the way.) I'm adding you to my blogroll ASAP - I love new rant blogs! I don't normally ask for a link back, but it'd be an honour if we could exchange links. I'll be back!
ReplyDeleteNext to your cruise post, this is the funniest darn thing I have read in a long time.
ReplyDeleteThis is awesome on two levels:
ReplyDelete1) You hurt yourself playing a video game, and I thought that was damn near impossible to do.
2) You're a regular pirate with the words.
I'm sorry about your twisted ankle, but I'll be damned if this isn't funny!!
Thank you all.
ReplyDeleteAngry Medic: Thank you, and I have. If I ever meet you, I'll certainly spring for your new keyboard. I guess I should be glad it wasn't a laptop.
Rx intern: Actually, since the Wii came out, my ER doc friends have seen all kinds of minor injury stuff.
ReplyDeleteNot to mention vets- my daughter accidentally smacked our dog - hard- when she was going back to return a serve.
Although the Wii is most famous for remotes flying off and breaking something, it has a remarkable potential for minor league injuries. When I was a kid you might get "Atari thumb", but with this you can screw up your whole body.
And yeah, my profanity often gets me in trouble. I usually control it at home. My office staff is used to it.
Just found your blog via Nurse K's. I was hooked the second I read why you blog. Hilarious.
ReplyDeleteI work in urgent care. My first wii injury was a kid hit in the head by his mother while she was wii bowling--he was fine. Most recent was a 57-year-old with a ruptured biceps tendon. Definitely a little worse than Atari thumb.
I've actually seen an intracranial bleed from it. Lady on Coumadin who got whacked in the head by her opponent's wiimote.
ReplyDeleteHaving just came home from a 15 hour night shift in a long term care facility, I sat down to read a blog, Crass Pollination (http://crasspollination.blogspot.com/). She promoted your blog, and my god, am I glad to have clicked it. I've busted out laughing loud enough to scare the cat, and you're now in my google reader. :)
ReplyDeleteYou're not the only Wii injury. One of the other pharmacists I work with strained her back so badly doing the yoga portion that she couldn't lift her 2 year old son for 3 weeks without pain.
ReplyDeleteAs for that trainer, I regularly yell colorful words at her. You're not alone.