Mary: "Okay, so we'll see you on Friday, at 1:30. Do you need directions here?”
Mrs. Scan: "No, but what tests will he order on me?"
Mary: "I don't know. He's never seen you before, so it will depend on what he finds when he hears your story and examines you. Every patient is different."
Mrs. Scan: "Well, I really don't want to come in unless I know what he's going to do."
Mary: "I understand, but that's up to him. I'm not the doctor. You'll be able to talk to him about this during the visit."
Mrs. Scan: "Look, I'm not calling you to play games. Either you tell me what tests he's going to order, or I'm going elsewhere."
I've said it before and I'll say it again:
ReplyDeleteAre you *sure* you're not really a psychiatrist?
A good example of an idle threat
ReplyDeleteDarn, too bad you lost that customer. /s
ReplyDelete"I ma not totally sure but it involves a realllly big syringe and a set of tongs," said Mary with a twinkle in her eye.
ReplyDeleteWell? Did she come in?
ReplyDeleteSounds like she's heard the "snap" of a latex glove once too often.
ReplyDeletestay safe.
On this one, she is correct. It is called informed consent. It amazes me how often I hear people say that they have no idea what their treatment protocols are.
ReplyDelete@Packer,
ReplyDeleteThere's nothing wrong with finding out what tests will be run beforehand, but it's a little ludicrous to expect an answer to that question before an examination is even conducted.
Informed consent is one thing, but expecting the receptionist to know what tests the doctor will order for a patient he's never seen before is something completely different. The first is a basic right, the second requires being able to see the future.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHopefully for you, she DID go elsewhere!
ReplyDeleteI hope you buy diamonds for Mary this holiday season!!
LOL...and your notes are truly engaging today.
ReplyDeleteYou can't know what tests will be ordered before a history is taken and an actual exam performed. I'd hate for a patient with an aneurysm clip to be sent for an MR of the head.
ReplyDelete"Frankly, unless you can guarantee me at least one finger up my ass, it's not worth my time and effort."
ReplyDeleteU&E, Glucose, LFTs, B12 & Folate, TFTs, FBC for starters. And the rest for dessert after the main course...
ReplyDeleteThe main course being "listen to the patient, she's telling the diagnosis. And of course, the physical examination as bonne bouche - at the least that gives the neurologist time to think.
Dodged a bullet there Doc.
ReplyDeleteMary: I can't say for sure, but most of the time, when patients have your problem, he orders an autopsy.
ReplyDelete"And one more thing- when I come in, I expect him to be wearing a badge."
ReplyDeleteTechnically, I understand that Mary is a secretary, albeit an awesome asset to the practice, but, I, for one, would have serious doubts if a secretary was able to pronounce with any certainty what the doctor would be doing.
ReplyDeleteI mean, as a pharmacy student, I observed open heart surgery from a little platform in back of the patient's head where he was lying on the table, and noted what the anesthesiologist did with the breathing machines and the assistant harvesting the patient's blood vessels from his leg, and I was amazed by the stamina and solitary actions of the cardiothoracic surgeon, with the scrub nurses and others hovering around him.but I don't think my experience would qualify as being able to provide consults to patients anticipating open-heart surgery,
How else will she know what to study for?
ReplyDelete"Listen, lady, I'm a receptionist, not a psychic." Mary needs another raise.
ReplyDeleteAll front desks at every doctor's office deserve major love. We don't get enough!
Delete"And I need to know ahead of time what the results will be."
ReplyDeleteOur patients want to know what tests the doctor will order so that they can get them done prior to their appointment. While I understand the rational, I as receptionist have no idea what tests the doctor will order for that patient (my psychic skills need improvement). Also, good luck getting the insurance company to pay for the test when the doctor hasn't even examined the patient.
ReplyDeleteAs a 'front desk administrator" (receptionist) for an Audiologist, I am occasionally grilled for information on hearing test procedures as well as hearing aid info only my professionals can provide. In those instances I have no problem reminding the caller that I answer the phone, and the information they seek is way above my pay grade and then do my best to get them to schedule an appointment (free consult). I do it with a smile and humor when appropriate and it's almost always received well.
ReplyDeleteIf they call with an attitude, or are abusive...that gets handled too. Politely and with diplomacy, of course!
Everyone should have experience manning a front desk (and/or working retail). It can be a real eye opener.
Just buy Mary an artisan crystal ball this year for Christmas.
ReplyDeleteThen she can do her job properly :)
While I was in xray school I worked nights at the switchboard in a local hospital. One of the most important things I had to do, was of course, page (read wake up) docs who resented being on call. A patient would call in for a particular doctor, I would check the call list and make the call. The doc would then grill me about the patient's symptoms and asked me if I thought it was really an emergency. I was flattered of course, that they had such high esteem for my medical opinion, but felt it was somehow misplaced.
ReplyDeleteMary: (Rolls eyes) "Well, that will be fine, Mrs Scan. I can give you Dr Sneezy's phone number, and directions to his office if you'd like."
ReplyDelete