Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Today's contest

Okay, folks, since Dr. Killpatient gave me the idea...

A catalog pushing Halloween-themed nursing scrubs was lying around the hospital yesterday, with this picture on the cover:




So let's see what captions you guys can come up with. I'll toss out a few:


"Dr. Grumpy is sending a patient to the ER!"

"Dr. No Bullshit is on vacation again!"

"Shipping charges on Halloween scrubs are how much?!!!"

at

56 comments:

  1. Brittles15September 11, 2012 at 4:55 AM

    You scared the shit out of us, call the CNA.

    ReplyDelete
  2. CSeptember 11, 2012 at 5:43 AM

    The ER is out of Haldol?

    ReplyDelete
  3. KristinSeptember 11, 2012 at 6:44 AM

    "You're not giving out candy for Halloween?"

    ReplyDelete
  4. KbSeptember 11, 2012 at 6:48 AM

    "What, Craig cut his hair!?!?"

    ReplyDelete
  5. Officer CynicalSeptember 11, 2012 at 7:04 AM

    "No, I said show me the PEANUTS you got for Halloween!"

    ReplyDelete
  6. Queen Silly BritchesSeptember 11, 2012 at 7:22 AM

    *Fangirls begin screaming*
    "OMG! You mean Dr. Grumpy is ACTUALLY COMING HERE? TODAY!? Someone get a case of Diet Coke! Stat!".
    *Fangirls scream wildly again and faint all over the floor*

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 7:52 AM

    I work in a medical ICU. Nothing gets that look from us anymore except a set of really big balls.

    ReplyDelete
  8. MikeSeptember 11, 2012 at 7:55 AM

    Blondie on right: "My wedding ring fell in the patient's full bedpan!"

    Others: "EWWWWWW!"

    ReplyDelete
  9. Leah September 11, 2012 at 8:10 AM

    "Scabies outbreak on 4 south!"

    ReplyDelete
  10. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 8:31 AM

    "Code Brown! I repeat - Code Brown!"

    ReplyDelete
  11. aekSeptember 11, 2012 at 8:50 AM

    "These are the new permanent uniforms for the hospitalists!"

    ReplyDelete
  12. Nurse LillySeptember 11, 2012 at 8:59 AM

    "We're now required to learn Hindi, Farsi, AND Urdu just so we can talk to the new hospitalists?"

    ReplyDelete
  13. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 9:22 AM

    Ambulance Driver *AND* Dr. Grumpy *AND* Happy Hospitalist in drag???

    ReplyDelete
  14. PackerSeptember 11, 2012 at 9:40 AM

    What do you mean I have to work Thanksgioving.

    ReplyDelete
  15. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 9:43 AM

    "We just announced the Hospital is out of Diluadid and all the patients in the waiting room just got up and left!"

    ReplyDelete
  16. SandraSeptember 11, 2012 at 9:57 AM

    Anon 9:43 - That would actually result in a round of cheering.

    ReplyDelete
  17. ERPSeptember 11, 2012 at 10:35 AM

    "How in God's name will a Foley fit in that! They don't make them big enough!"

    ReplyDelete
  18. Titan Mk6BSeptember 11, 2012 at 10:40 AM

    They really believed me when I said "Liar, liar tits on fire".

    Or

    Sandra Fluke just made an appointment.

    ReplyDelete
  19. bobbieSeptember 11, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    SO agree with Anon @ 8:31 ~ that's definitely a Code Brown look!!

    Also ~ "CNA dues are going up by HOW much?!?!"

    ReplyDelete
  20. ER's MomSeptember 11, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    The vibrator was found WHERE?!?!?!?!?

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 12:16 PM

    "FRANK ATE ALL THE BROWNIES???!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  22. LeighSeptember 11, 2012 at 12:22 PM

    "OMG Dr. Grumpy! Your bag REALLY IS hanging funny!"

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ivan IlyichSeptember 11, 2012 at 12:26 PM

    OMG, Ivan Ilyich has relapsed and he's coming back!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    "Tell Mr. Holmes that the girls need a few more minutes of stretching exercises before we shoot the scene."

    ReplyDelete
  25. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 12:56 PM

    "Everybody flips when they hear about the new McArtisanal Burger!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  26. ArdosaSeptember 11, 2012 at 1:39 PM

    Dr. NoDilala is off for two weeks?!

    ReplyDelete
  27. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 1:50 PM

    "Is this room ACTUALLY STRETCHING???"

    ReplyDelete
  28. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 3:24 PM

    "Lady Grantham caught Matthew and Thomas doing WHAT???"

    ReplyDelete
  29. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 3:25 PM

    "You mean Bruce Willis was dead the whole time?"

    ReplyDelete
  30. Captain FoulenoughSeptember 11, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    "Aaiiiieee!! Bambi's been spray-tanning too much. The chemicals are messing up her skeleton! Look! Her left arm's been switched with her right! And how's she gonna give injections with that wrist contracture?! Gaaah!"

    ReplyDelete
  31. CrownedwithVictorySeptember 11, 2012 at 5:26 PM

    We are getting Nursing Fundamentals students for clinical instead of the senior class?!?

    ReplyDelete
  32. gin4407September 11, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    My first thought was Leigh's caption!

    ReplyDelete
  33. MooseSeptember 11, 2012 at 5:28 PM

    I love how it's only women wearing these things and shrieking. Hi, my name is stupid stereotype, and I'll be peeing on your parade today.

    Captain CrankyPants, from the Good Ship "Otitis Media Sucks Ass"

    ReplyDelete
  34. Li'l AzathothSeptember 11, 2012 at 5:38 PM

    "And remember, the first contestant to catch five frisbees in her mouth moves on to the bonus round!"

    ReplyDelete
  35. 08armydocSeptember 11, 2012 at 5:50 PM

    "You want me to put that catheter WHERE?"

    "Have you ever seen anything so small on an adult male?

    "I didn't think one person could puke up that much blood?!"

    "Why is it that color?"

    ReplyDelete
  36. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 6:14 PM

    "You mean to stay that the Vogue photo shoot is in a different studio and this one is for a medical supply catalog???"

    ReplyDelete
  37. lbparkerSeptember 11, 2012 at 7:11 PM

    Officer Cynical wins the thread. Though there are so many cackle-worthy comments here that it was hard to choose. . .

    ReplyDelete
  38. BeadHappySeptember 11, 2012 at 9:21 PM

    They only come in size 2?

    ReplyDelete
  39. icurnSeptember 11, 2012 at 9:33 PM

    No way, we're fully staffed in ICU on a Saturday!!!! I don't believe it!!

    ReplyDelete
  40. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 10:30 PM

    the two to the left of the blonde are reacting to what the blonde is saying.

    and the blonde is saying "i just did my first-ever shift in neurology. did you know that most neurologists' reflex hammers are THIS long?"

    ReplyDelete
  41. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 10:55 PM

    Mrs. Frquentflyer is being admitted AGAIN?! She just left 2 days ago.

    ReplyDelete
  42. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 11:26 PM

    No, we are NOT allowed to cut those toenails....

    ReplyDelete
  43. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 11:28 PM

    We thought coming into your room in twos or threes would stop you from groping us and making lewd comments. You want an extra pillow where?!

    ReplyDelete
  44. AnonymousSeptember 11, 2012 at 11:30 PM

    We don't care where you read about it; we do NOT provide THAT kind of therapy...

    ReplyDelete
  45. Bob@thenestSeptember 11, 2012 at 11:48 PM

    Doctor Grumpy is making an artisan WHAT???

    ReplyDelete
  46. AnonymousSeptember 12, 2012 at 11:22 AM

    EMR!!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  47. Ms. DonnaSeptember 12, 2012 at 12:37 PM

    DR. G said "Artisan" again!

    ReplyDelete
  48. AnonymousSeptember 12, 2012 at 1:54 PM

    There's a water main break, we're not sure when we'll have enough pressure to get water flowing on your floor again... and you get to take care of the C. Diff patient. (true story)

    ReplyDelete
  49. GlenSeptember 12, 2012 at 7:50 PM

    "On No! The HIPAA Police are raiding us!

    ReplyDelete
  50. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2012 at 4:53 AM

    State is here for inspection and all of the above is going on...

    ReplyDelete
  51. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2012 at 4:55 AM

    State is HERE!, State is HERE! during all of the above and a bunch of cases of c-diff & norovirus...

    ReplyDelete
  52. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2012 at 3:45 AM

    Mrs. Pita is here again??? She fired us all last time
    and said she wasn't EVER coming back again?!

    ReplyDelete
  53. AnonymousSeptember 15, 2012 at 5:51 PM

    Referencing the story 2 above with the serious WTF "He had what where?!"

    ReplyDelete
  54. LippsServiceSeptember 15, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Oh shit, we've run out of drug samples of Happy Pill!

    ReplyDelete
  55. LippsServiceSeptember 16, 2012 at 7:02 AM

    Woman in the middle is totally doing the Home Alone scream.

    ReplyDelete
  56. MASeptember 17, 2012 at 12:45 PM

    I'm sorry guys I can't think of anything to comment, except I haven't laughed so hard until finding Dr. Grumpy. LOL!

    Oh, I did think of one thing...

    Is that a trick or a treat?

    Happy Halloween and don't smell my feet!!

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?