Abracadabra

Dr. Grumpy: "Have a seat, what can I do for you?"

Mrs. Anatidae: "My homeopath says his exam showed I have taurine in my brain, and referred me to you to take it out."

 

Pause

  

Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, everyone has taurine in their brain. It's critical for nerve function. It's in most organ systems."

 

Pause

 

Mrs. Anatidae: "So... you're telling me there isn't a surgery or something to take it out? He said there was."

Dr. Grumpy: "No. It's normal to have taurine in your brain. You need it to stay alive."

 

Pause

 

Mrs. Anatidae: "I'm sick of all the lies you regular doctors tell people like me to keep us sick so you can make money off our suffering!!!"

 

She stormed out and slammed the door.

 

Change

Since the twins are both at the same university, we bought them a car to share a few months back.

Yesterday we received a letter from the dealer's accounting department, saying they overcharged us in error, along with a check for the amount.

 

I am not making this up.

Write your own caption

This picture, I swear, is taken from the Disney website, showing a family enjoying the all-new MCU Avengers Campus at Disneyland.

If they're having fun, I can't imagine what the families who aren't enjoying it look like.

 

Meanwhile, up front

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, and he says you need to work me in RIGHT AWAY. Like, today. Now."

Mary: "We have nothing open today... I can do next Wednesday, at 2:30, or..."

Ms. Young: "I looked it up! On the internet it says you are legally obligated to get me in, since my doctor referred me urgently!"

Mary: "Uh, no. If you have an emergency you'll need to go to ER. We don't have any kind of relationship with Dr. Neverheardofhim. The soonest I get you in is Wednesday, though I can put you on a waiting list for..."

Ms. Young: "This is terrible that you're breaking the law like this! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

She hung up

2 hours later

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, um, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, I called earlier, and I decided I'll take the Wednesday appointment."

Mary: "I'm sorry, but it's no longer available. We can see you Friday morning, at 8:00, or..."

Ms. Young: "You gave away my appointment? You can't do that!"

Mary: "You never made an appointment."

Ms. Young: "You offered it to me! That's the same thing! I looked it up! On the internet it says you are legally obligated to hold it for me."

Mary: "I'm not going to argue with you. Would you like the Friday morning slot?"

Ms. Young: "This is terrible that you're breaking the law like this! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

She hung up 

 

1 hour later. 

 

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Ms. Young: "Hi, um, I called earlier, I was referred by Dr. Neverheardofhim, can I take the Friday morning appointment? Is it still available?"

Mary: "It is, that's Friday morning at 8:00. Okay, what insurance do you have?"

Ms. Young: "Federal United Healthcare."

Mary: "Oh... I'm sorry, Dr. Grumpy isn't contracted with F-U Healthcare."

Ms. Young: "Dr. Neverheardofhim referred me! So you have to take it! I looked it up on the internet!"

Mary: "We don't take that plan, so you'll have to try their website to find a neurologist who does."

Ms. Young: "No, that's YOUR job! You need to find someone who takes my insurance, and have them work me in! It's the law! I looked it up on the internet! I'm going to call my cousin, who's a lawyer!"

Mary hung up