Dr. Grumpy: "What brings you in to see me, sir?"
Mr. Fishbone: "You don't already know?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Uh, no, we've never met before, and I haven't received any records."
Mr. Fishbone: "It's all on my website, if you'd bothered to look me up."
Dr. Grumpy: "Sir, I don't 'look up' patients online before their appointments."
Mr. Fishbone: "Maybe you should, so we wouldn't be having this conversation."
Pause
Dr. Grumpy: "What brings you in to see me today?"
Mr. Fishbone: "Apparently you wanted to waste my time. I'm out of here."
He got up and left.
And by leaving, he did you a huge favor!!
ReplyDeleteCould actually be prodromal schizophrenia. This is related to delusions of reference. He thinks he's in communication with people by ways he actually isn't.
ReplyDelete"If you weren't such an ignorant philistine, you'd know just what an important man I am. I was on FIVE episodes of 'Big Brother' back in 2006."
ReplyDelete"I'll bet you didn't download my app on your phone either."
ReplyDelete"Honestly, sometimes I wonder why I even bother paying $1000 a month to that SEO company."
ReplyDeleteYou just got a few minutes to catch up on any electronic records your behind on before your next patient. How fortunate for you.
ReplyDeleteI actually have a decent amount of medical information "online"--but on a page you'll only find if you have the URL. I can't imagine someone leaving stuff like that out where the Googlebot will find it.
ReplyDelete(It's too complex to put in the page that could be popped up without unlocking the phone, and it's also on the whiteboard I leave in the car when heading into the wilderness--if search and rescue has to come get me who knows what state my phone is in. There's also a bunch of info there that the search and rescue guys would want.)
"I made this appointment several weeks ago. That's plenty of time for you to have listened to all the episodes of my podcast."
ReplyDelete"I'll bet you don't even have the Tor browser installed."
ReplyDelete"If you really cared about your patients, you wouldn't let a little thing like a paywall stand in your way."
ReplyDeleteScary, yesterday guy shows up at office week early for appointment. With full size suitcase, I assume homeless. I bring him into office and ask why he needs a lawyer. He then starts with job loss of 2012, college graduate 2005, death of child 2015, restraining order, doesn’t agree court order requiring therapy. I keep asking what it is that you want lawyer to do. No answer just more rantings. Finally I say you need to get to a point, do you need help with bankruptcy, what is it? He gets very agitated and starts telling me that I am disrespecting him and says I am out of here and starts yelling at me, I open office door and tell him to get out or I will call 911. He leaves thankfully.
ReplyDeleteOn the news later there is a report of lawyer in NYC apparently shot in his office by disgruntled client. I try to be empathetic and I was ashamed of myself as I thought I did not handle the conference kindly enough. But then I started thinking that over the pandemic period demands of irrational people seemingly have increased exponentially. They are no longer seeking care or advise they are looking for a place to vent. Be careful.
Dr. Grumpy: "What brings you in to see me today?"
ReplyDeleteMad Jack: I'm nuts and I suspect that it's from a little bump on the noggin I got last week. You see, there were six nubile dancers on my front lawn and while I was chasing them around I stepped on a rake that my neighbor left on my front sidewalk. Tines up, and it left a divot in my forehead - see? Then my aunt Francis called and told me to meet her here in your office for lunch, and that was kind of the tip off to me that something was anti-copacetic in the old brain box, because aunt Frannie's been dead as a mallet for six years now... does any of this make sense?
I think you escaped lightly.
ReplyDelete