Monday, March 1, 2021

When in doubt, cut it out

Dr. Grumpy: "Have a seat... So what can I do for you?"

Ms. Calgerepep: "I'm not sure I'm in the right place... I thought I was supposed to see a brain surgeon."

Dr. Grumpy: "That's definitely not me. What were you referred for?"

Ms. Calgerepep: "I have migraines."

Dr. Grumpy: "Actually, I do handle that. You are at the right doc."

Ms. Calgerepep: "What do you do for migraines?"

Dr. Grumpy: "Well, we can get into more detail on that later, after I take your history, but there's a large number of medication options."

Ms. Calgerepep: "I don't want medications. I just want the migraines taken out."

Dr. Grumpy: "I understand that, but treatment is really more finding the right medication for each person, why don't you tell me..."

Ms. Calgerepep: "See this is why I wanted to see a brain surgeon. I want someone who can just go in there and take the migraines out."

Dr. Grumpy: "Migraine treatment doesn't work that way, unfortunately. There really isn't a specific thing to take out."

Ms. Calgerepep: "Now you're lying to me. You just want to be able to bill me, when you aren't even the right doctor. We both know I need a brain surgeon to fix them."

Dr. Grumpy: "Ma'am, I promise you that..."

Ms. Calgerepep: "You must be in this with my family doctor. I'm out of here."

She leaves, slams door.

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22 comments:

  1. Reds KevinMarch 1, 2021 at 5:08 AM

    And now that you have a migraine how are you going to treat it?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andy SymsMarch 1, 2021 at 5:50 AM

    W.T.F. !!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. John WoolmanMarch 1, 2021 at 8:06 AM

    There is even a book on it “Migraine Surgery By: Guyuron Bahman, Editor, Published by: Thieme Medical Publishers Inc, New York, New York, 2018, Hardcover: 124 pp. Price: $199.99 ISBN: 9781626236929”. I think I’ll stick to triptans...

    ReplyDelete
  4. AnonymousMarch 1, 2021 at 8:10 AM

    When you take out the migraines, insert some common sense.

    ReplyDelete
  5. AnonymousMarch 1, 2021 at 10:49 AM

    Well, yes. It's a conspiracy to treat the problem!

    Pre-emptive self (down) selection. A prospective problem patient who so diligently emulates the Thane of Cawdor is a blessing upon any practice she does not join.

    ReplyDelete
  6. PackerMarch 1, 2021 at 11:05 AM

    Quite innocently I made a recommendation to a friend, she no longer calls.

    https://www.practicalpainmanagement.com/patient/conditions/headache/treating-migraines-masturbation

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousMarch 1, 2021 at 11:15 AM

    I bet the FDA would get all bent out of shape if you tried selling home trepanation kits, though.

    ReplyDelete
  8. bobbieMarch 1, 2021 at 11:26 AM

    Pt. w/ TSTL syndrome...

    ReplyDelete
  9. jimbo26March 1, 2021 at 3:45 PM

    Thing with migraine(s) is to find what the trigger is . In my case - potato(es) which I haven`t eaten in 40 years (not even potato chips) .

    ReplyDelete
  10. Ms. DonnaMarch 1, 2021 at 3:46 PM

    Oh, please. Those things are so bad, pts would go for the home trepanation kit. Sans anesthesia.

    ReplyDelete
  11. JABMarch 1, 2021 at 7:28 PM

    Today I would let someone cut my migraine out on the kitchen table with a rusty spoon.

    ReplyDelete
  12. greenhallMarch 2, 2021 at 12:20 PM

    I totally looked at my electric drill for a really long time once...

    ReplyDelete
  13. AntibubbaMarch 2, 2021 at 2:07 PM

    Packer, by that logic my migraines should have stopped when I was 13!
    ...

    They largely stopped when I became a daily coffee drinker, a fact I only realized when I tried to stop all caffeine intake. After about a week and a half I had my first migraine in 5 years.

    ReplyDelete
  14. BrianMarch 3, 2021 at 9:37 PM

    It's a waste of valuable time, but maybe she does need to see a brain surgeon just to get rejected by them. Could bill her double to compensate for the lost opportunity.

    ReplyDelete
  15. LGMarch 4, 2021 at 4:37 PM

    With her stupidity she may need the surgeon. I would hope a tumor would be the cause of that level of stupidity and not just being plain stupid. I second the people who said they'd gladly have them taken out with a rusty spoon and looked for the electric drill. I know I've just smashed my head into concrete walls because that seemed to feel better.

    ReplyDelete
  16. LGMarch 4, 2021 at 4:39 PM

    And she's probably married to that dude that was yelling for ketamine.....

    ReplyDelete
  17. The Immortal JinotegaMarch 7, 2021 at 6:34 PM

    "My best friend just married a heart surgeon. So the whole point of this exercise is for ME to meet a brain surgeon I can marry, just to one-up her."

    ReplyDelete
  18. MeMarch 10, 2021 at 6:22 PM

    Do other doctors get patients like this or are you just a looney-toon magnet?

    On the other hand, could you give her my number & ask her to call if she finds a brain surgeon who'll do it? I'm fed up with my migraines 😉

    ReplyDelete
  19. TamMarch 11, 2021 at 1:16 AM

    Can you take mine out, it's been there for a week with no sign of easing. Gotta love medication changes. If only surgical removal were truly an option 😂

    ReplyDelete
  20. AnonymousMarch 15, 2021 at 4:23 PM

    I understand frontal lobotomies cure a whole world of ills.

    ReplyDelete
  21. AnonymousMarch 16, 2021 at 3:22 AM

    My mom used to get migraines, I can remember my dad pushing on her head trying to give her relief. When I asked why she got headaches she told me it's something grown ups get. I thought then that when I grew up I wasn't going to get headaches. I am 73 years old and probably have had a dozen headaches my entire life and I count my blessings. lots of other things wrong with me but not headaches.

    ReplyDelete
  22. The FreeholderMay 22, 2021 at 6:12 PM

    I suffer with migraine. I wish there was a solution as simple as having them taken out surgically.

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?