Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."
Mr. Nmda: "HI! DOES YOUR OFFICE DO KETAMINE?"
Mary: "No, we don't. You might try the Ketamine center on the west side."
Mr. Nmda: "THAT'S TOO FAR TO DRIVE! DO YOU HAVE, LIKE, FREE KETAMINE SAMPLES OR ANYTHING YOU COULD GIVE ME? LIKE FROM A PROMOTIONAL THING?"
Mary: "No, that's just not something we handle in our practice."
Mr. Nmda: "IS THERE ANYONE IN YOUR BUILDING WHO HAS KETAMINE? I'M DOWN IN THE LOBBY, AND IT LOOKS LIKE THERE'S A LOT OF OFFICES HERE. SOMEBODY MUST."
Mary: "Not that I'm aware of."
Mr. Nmda: "IS THERE A BATHROOM IN THE LOBBY DOWN HERE?"
Mary: "Uh, on the west side, by the stairs and water fountain."
Mr. Nmda: "THANK YOU!"
Click
I can pretty much guess what nmda means but google doesn’t seem to know. Non medicinal drug addict.
ReplyDelete"Sorry, we're all out of ketamine. But we're buried in meth and coke, if you'd like to try one of those".
ReplyDeleteN-methyl-D-aspartate (NMDA) receptor. Glutamate receptor which is affected by a variety of psychotropics. Ketamine partially acts via this receptor.
ReplyDelete(It's actually a lot more fun than that, but this is not a neuropharmacology site. Our gracious host subtly shows that he is, indeed, not a Mongolian yak herder.)
That's always the difficulty with Zoom raves.
ReplyDeleteGive Mary a raise
ReplyDeleteCouldn't he be a yak herder...And a neurologist?
ReplyDeleteActual ketamine patient here. None of my neurologists prescribe it either, it’s through an anesthesiologist. And they don’t give it in intergalactic-travel doses. However, you’re free to ‘knock yourself out’ with a spiked juice box as per your physician’s instructions
ReplyDeleteStacey: In my wildest dreams, yes. And Dr. G and Mary both have my highest respect, as usual.
ReplyDeleteThat must be some interesting medical building,
ReplyDeleteI think someone has already had enough ketamine.
ReplyDelete"Sure, the whole office does ketamine every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. But today's Tuesday, so we're all on ayahuasca instead."
ReplyDeleteI could never figure out why folks enjoy hallucinogenic experiences. Sorry. The brain tumor affected the cerebellar region and I was told by a kindly uncle that I had the gait pattern of a drunken sailor, whatever that means. (It was quite difficult judging distance where to place my feet when stepping off a curb or going down stairs) and tennis as well as badminton or volleyball were no longer enjoyable. An acrid burning rubber smell followed me on any 'trip' down the school hallway, along with occasional whiffs of lilacs and blueberry pie in class, and I found I couldn't touch my nose in the dark. I had to give up a lifelong dream of being a ballerina (actually, that was a delusion in and of itself!) (This response is in reference to the $30,000 month-long Psilocybe cubensis 'ayahuasca' getaways, NOT the research on effects of ketamine on severe depression.)
ReplyDeleteAm I the only one concerned about the word "DRIVE"? I am scared of the idea that Mr. Nmda might have a driver's license.
ReplyDelete