Several years ago I posted about Local Hospital's bizarre "washing your hands entertainment system," where the soap dispenser has a screen that shows you seemingly random items while you lather up. This is on a par with the TV screen that provides apolitical bubblegum news while you're pumping gas.
Anyway, over time you guys have sent some of your own pics of this "keeping-your-mind-busy-while-getting-an-ATV-rider's-cortex-off-your-hands" distraction, so I thought it was time to share them.
First we have this, which may come in handy if you ever hear yourself saying "I'll take 'marsupials' for $400."
Then there's this one, which I'm guessing sent people back to their phone wondering "who?" and looking it up before they rejoined the code-in-progress:
Bizarrely, this next one is incorrect. That number is per day, NOT per hour:
One can only hope no one was injured when the ICU doc came back from washing his hands, called the respiratory tech over, and said "the hand-washing machine says we're doing this wrong, turn her rate up to 384 breaths per minute."
Here's this one, which gets back to the childhood "whoever smelt it, dealt it" game.
Finally, there's this pick-me-up, in case you need a reason to feel grateful after cleaning up an unhelmeted motorcyclist who attempted riding between 2 semis.
What they don't tell you is that koalas almost never wash their hands.
ReplyDeleteOr that raccoons don't actually wash their hands, they are just feeling around for food under water.
ReplyDelete"Of course I love myself. Why do you think I'm in the bathroom?"
ReplyDelete"In the 1950s, the French government instituted a program in which children would be trained to sniff out truffles. The program failed, however, as pigs proved easier than children to teach and were much better at following instructions. The children were given jobs as cabdrivers instead."
ReplyDelete"Count how many times you breathe in a minute, multiply by 60, and that will tell you exactly how far below average you are. Come back tomorrow for some fascinating statistics on penis length."
ReplyDelete(1) Wash hands thoroughly.
ReplyDelete(2) Dry hands.
(3) Take out the phone that you've just been using to play Candy Crush while you were on the shitter, and Google "Mannootty."
(4) Back to work!
*Mammootty
ReplyDeleteWhich is really strange when you consider how sophisticated and widespread Australia's coffee culture is.
ReplyDeletewhen I was still in an office, the only thing in our washroom was a sign from the State Health Dept that said to sing the ABC song. I feel really deprived.
ReplyDeleteIf you can breath 324,000/hr, how many calories do you burn? Can your heart fly like a hummingbird? Can you be used as a space heater? Or maybe you are just a superspreader these days.
There was an official looking sign posted in a VA hospital that intoned. "LOOKING AT THE TOILET PAPER AFTER WIPING YOURSELF IS A VIOLATION OF US CODE 501:66."
ReplyDeleteHey G Stockton Powell, I have come back for the last two days for fascinating statistics on penis length, you have not delivered, you have left me short. The rest of you have awaken from your 22 hour slumber, your humor left me more breathless than the average American
ReplyDeleteFun Facts
ReplyDelete90% of all pickpocketings occur while the victim is holding both hands under water and is distracted by reading a screen.
I'm so glad I don't have to look at those. The capitalization of the "W" in "Washing" bugs me and what's with the numbers in the lower left-hand corner?
ReplyDelete