I'm with a patient when Mary interrupts me. Dr. Unka, a deranged cardiologist in my building, is on the phone. So I apologize to my patient and pick up the line.
Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy."
Dr. Unka: "Hi, Ibee. You consulted on a hospital patient of mine this morning, Mr. Sah. He's the one who fell and hit his head at home yesterday, and now has a brain hemorrhage?"
Dr. Grumpy: "Yeah, he's in ICU. What's up?"
Dr. Unka: "Well, I was reading your note, and in your dictation it says he slipped on water that was on the floor. I just spoke to his wife, and she's very certain it was iced tea, because he'd just knocked a glass over and was going to get a towel to clean it up when he fell."
Dr. Grumpy: "Um..."
Dr. Unka: "Anyway, I thought it was important you should know, in case you want to amend your dictation."
“I’ll not bother returning to my waiting Patient and get right on that”.
ReplyDelete"OK, got it. Was it brewed or instant?"
ReplyDeleteOh good lord, wet is wet. This doc has OCD to the max.
ReplyDeleteor maybe he was collecting a 24 hour urine and it was iced pee.
ReplyDeleteDeranged Cardiologist worked in Corporate America for 20 years before applying to medical school. Welcome to my world.
ReplyDeleteUmmm... thanks a lot for nothing!
ReplyDeleteIn my logic, she (the wife) would NOT want to ensure that fact was documented in the chart, since their life-savings are all in stock in the Lipton company. I think she's the one that's confused. Or, is it Unka?
ReplyDeleteHenceforth every one will be falling because of liquid on the floor, not water, not ice tea. Liquid and only liquid, not hot not iced . Liquid of undetermined type. Give me a freaking break. You broke me away from Saint Michael Cohen's sermon on the Mount to read this blog entry. I have important business .
ReplyDeletePS ....glad he was not on a ladder
ReplyDeleteHe took the Nestea Plunge.
ReplyDeleteWas the patient this guy? Maybe he and the cardiologist are going to split the insurance money.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.wistv.com/2019/02/01/video-man-appears-throw-ice-fake-fall-office/
OOOOOH Unka has had contact with the Lawyer species. the Cardiologist shows all the symptoms. Blame them.
ReplyDeleteChildren go through a "literalist" stage, when they will correct any generalization. You will explain your lateness for a birthday party to your friend saying, "Half a dozen people were in line in front of us at the pharmacy" and the kid will self-righteously correct you, "MOMMMM, there were ONLY FIVE!"
ReplyDeleteSome people never grow out of that stage. Most of them are unendurably dull.