Dr. Grumpy: "This is Dr. Grumpy, returning a page."
Nurse: "Hi, this is Susan. I'm a nurse on the 7th floor, calling in a consult on room 7147."
Dr. Grumpy: "Sure. What's the story?"
Nurse: "He's a 22 year old who took LSD a few hours ago, in the park next to the hospital, and has since been really confused. His friends brought him to ER. Dr. Newgrad wanted neurology to see him for the confusion."
Pause
Dr. Grumpy: "Are you shitting me?"
Nurse (laughing): "I wish. I tried to talk Dr. Newgrad out of the consult, and suggested we just put on some Grateful Dead in there until it wore off."
Do yak herders in the US not speak to other yak herders themselves? In the UK, I would expect a referral to come from a Dr. Nurses have enough to do without being my telephonist! It also has the benefit of me being able to say WTF to them directly.
ReplyDeleteOh the joys of July and new residents!
ReplyDeleteWhat you have here is a failure of Bayesian reasoning.
ReplyDeleteConfusion could be from LSD or something else. Presumably they want you to rule out the something else.
If the LSD is virtually certain to cause confusion, and is known to have been taken, then there is essentially no evidence at all for "something else" -- no unexplained symptom.
Smart nurse!
ReplyDeleteCYA medicine at its best!
ReplyDeleteMust be July.
ReplyDeleteDr. Newgrad needs some experience badly. Put on some Jimi Hendrix for him, STAT!
ReplyDeleteFirst weeks in July? Oh Ghod. New 'terns, baby residents, etc.. I will bet the ink isn't dry on Newgrad's diploma yet..
ReplyDeleteI was an orderly in a teaching hospital many years ago (shudder).
The Allman Brothers is also a good choice to keep him mellowed out.
ReplyDeleteWhat a long, strange, shift it's been.
ReplyDelete1969 de ja vue all over again
ReplyDeleteThat nurse is a winner.
ReplyDeleteAnon at 3:01 wins the Internet today. Priceless. Maybe you all live around the Haight, (thinks an Ohioan) … However, new resident or not... : Your typical hospital caught in your typical daydream, but if you've got a consult, I guess you're gonna come in. Confusion down on Neuro street, psych eval also might have that beat, bit too much acid, no you can't take the heat, just keep trippin' on and on. Sometimes the light's all shinin' on me, Neuro's flashlight in the eyes, so I can barely see, just keep consultin' on and on.
ReplyDeleteMy friends Mom called, my son is on Lsd and I don't know what to do. I came over and asked him whats going on. Trippin son says, I'm looking inside the cats brain. I said that is very cool. Told Mom to make lemonade, we might be here for awhile.
ReplyDelete