First, taken in a subway, is this opportunity that could end unemployment:
Here's this headline, which is just begging for someone to snicker at it.
Then there's this refrigerator drawer in a reader's recent appliance purchase, which sounds somewhat obscene:
Here's a coffee pot seen early one morning at a hospital nurses station:
And, finally, this box label. Which seems awfully pretentious for a freakin' cantaloupe.
Maybe my "endangered feces" bit wasn't that far off.
ReplyDelete(1) Isn't the full expression "drop off the kids at the pool?"
ReplyDelete(2) After you produce your stool, won't your officemates object if you crush it at work?
"Apples" and "Grapes" were good, but "Cantaloupes" isn't so much a free-standing movie as it is a setup for next summer's "Fruit Salad."
ReplyDeleteThe owner of that iPhone seems to have a big grudge against anti-theft software for some reason...
ReplyDeleteBrewing coffee in your crack takes a lot of practice, but it produces a cup that's at perfect body temperature.
ReplyDeleteChilling your meat makes it last longer.
ReplyDeleteWaaaay back in the day when companies were first hopping onto the Internets and the web, they'd give employees access but often monitor the usage tightly.
ReplyDeleteA friend of mine worked at such a place. A mess of us were chatting online when said friend popped in. He was in a total panic, convinced he was going to be fired, because he'd discovered the, ahem, hard way that the URL for Dick's Sporting Goods is not, in fact, dicks.com.
He was sure they were coming for him any minute. We managed to make him understand that they weren't going to give a crap about a one time hit. They were looking for the people obviously surfing around for naughty bits and bobbles.
Under Joint Commission Chapter RC 10.02.01 EP69 the documentation for the crack pot is a conditional level finding as it is missing the date and signature. Also the "@" is an unapproved abbreviation/symbol.
ReplyDeleteThe following is not safe for work, (but told as tastefully as I could manage)...You have been warned.
ReplyDelete"The legend continues" about those cantaloupes makes me wonder if the company ever heard of the Cal Arts cantaloupe bandit...
This is a story a friend told me about her second year at the California institute of the arts in southern California.
Cal arts is an animation school established by Disney to train up and coming artists.
While they had somewhat liberal attitudes towards student's sexuality..Someone started using cantaloupes as sexual aids...
They would cut a hole and apparently microwave the melon to body temp and use it for obscene acts.
This wouldn't have been such a problem, but the "cantaloupe bandit" started leaving these things all over the campus for people to find.
The story is that this was an issue for only one semester...So the bandit probably washed out and went home.
But the story is still told on campus, more than 30 years later.