Monday, January 8, 2018

January 2, 2018

Mary: "Dr. Grumpy's office, this is Mary."

Mrs. Mycelium: "Hi, I have to cancel my appointment for this afternoon. I'm having an emergency!"

Mary: "Okay, do you..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "We went to take our Christmas tree out, and discovered THERE WAS MOLD ON IT!"

Mary: "I'm sorry to hear that. Would you like to reschedule now or..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "You act like this is nothing! THIS IS MOLD! I already called 911, and the girl there had the nerve to tell me mold wasn't an emergency!"

Mary: "Why don't you call me back when..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "I put the tree outside, but the mold may already be taking over my house! Do you know the number for a HAZMAT emergency? I can't find one!"

Mary: "No, I..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "Then can you call 911 for me? I bet they'd take this a lot more seriously if the call came from a doctor's office."

Mary: "I can't..."

Mrs. Mycelium: "OH MY GOD MY DOG IS OVER BY THE TREE! FLUFFY GET IN HERE! I need to go to the vet now!"

 The line went dead.
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18 comments:

  1. Astrolabe SilverwaxJanuary 8, 2018 at 4:07 AM

    "It's too late! I'm calling in an air strike! Save yourselves while you can!"

    ReplyDelete
  2. Melchior, Caspar, and BalthazarJanuary 8, 2018 at 4:10 AM

    Wait, we were supposed to bring frankincense, myrrh, and GOLD?

    ReplyDelete
  3. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2018 at 6:02 AM

    With the introduction of biological weapons, we've just entered a dangerous new phase in the War on Christmas.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Officer CynicalJanuary 8, 2018 at 9:17 AM

    "Please hang up and dial 211 - not 911."

    ReplyDelete
  5. Old RPhJanuary 8, 2018 at 9:31 AM

    Hey Dr G,
    When you take 2 weeks off, do your subscribers get a 45 cent refund?

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2018 at 9:41 AM

    I weep for this country.

    ReplyDelete
  7. bobbieJanuary 8, 2018 at 10:51 AM

    How about a New Years raise for Mary???

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2018 at 11:19 AM

    She better not check out her cheese drawer...

    ReplyDelete
  9. AnonymousJanuary 8, 2018 at 11:42 AM

    Your readers' comments never fail to amuse me. Such intelligent, witty humor. Well played, players!

    ReplyDelete
  10. staceyJanuary 8, 2018 at 12:28 PM

    The delineation between Psych and Neuro can be rather nebulous at times and has changed over time. Much like the borders of Eastern European nations in the past 200 years or so.

    ReplyDelete
  11. JavaheadJanuary 8, 2018 at 1:20 PM

    Have you ever wished, if you had a do-over, that you'd become an anesthesiologist instead? So that when you were on the job you could just put the crazies under and enjoy the quiet?

    ReplyDelete
  12. MageJanuary 8, 2018 at 2:17 PM

    Thanks, I'm still laughing.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The Bus DriverJanuary 8, 2018 at 4:53 PM

    silent night holy night... compliments of haldol ativan and valium.... which clearly this woman needs...

    ReplyDelete
  14. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2018 at 2:45 AM

    This public service message has been brought to you by the National Plastic Christmas Tree Council.

    ReplyDelete
  15. danielleJanuary 9, 2018 at 12:06 PM

    http://zdoggmd.com/7-years/

    ReplyDelete
  16. AnonymousJanuary 9, 2018 at 8:31 PM

    Such a sheltered life. I wonder is she recently learned how to identify 'MOLD!!'.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Kaz at www.building-enclosure.comJanuary 10, 2018 at 6:15 PM

    Silent mold, wholly mold, all is calm, all is bright....

    ReplyDelete
  18. PackerJanuary 15, 2018 at 9:35 AM

    That aint mold, it is worse, it is Douglas Fir

    ReplyDelete

So wadda you think?